The Square

Noah

I don't even know how, but I just got the name and number of a super hot, and cool looking girl. I think her name was Penelope. I'm thinking about texting her tonight. We also are meeting up after my shift is over to hang out and get to know some another. She seems like a really funny and knowledgeable person. And I know her favorite drink! A dragon-grapefruit hydrater with strawberry bits. I was always told that the best way to a woman's heart, was through either a cake, or what my dad calls The Five Fantastic Steps. I tried baking,and it didn't work out. Like, at all. So I decided to follow my old man's wise words.

Step 1: be a good listener. women love to talk, and when they are talking they get offended if you are doing anything other than listen to them.

  Step 2: make.friends with her friends. If your not friends,or at least on good terms with her friends, she most likely will drop you like that. But under NO circumstances should you be one-on-one with more than one female friend at a time. She will take it as a sign you don't like her and see just using her to get to her friends.

   Step 3: be sweet, but at unpredictable times. Present her with a gift every so often so that she feels loved and appreciated. It never had to be expensive, (unless your proposing. Then get ready to break the bank...), just thoughtful.

    Step 4: be fine with who you are. Don't go around changing who you are for some lame people.who don't matter in any way, shape, or form. Unless.it's your girl, or hopefully soon to be girl, she is the only one that matters. Be the same person around your friends, as you are around her. If you lose friends, so be it. If you lose a woman as phenomenal as her, you are worth less than a fly on a cereal box. Just taking up space, and annoying as hell.

     Step 5: be funny. Dad jokes are always okay, but don't use them to much. Depending on the woman, dirty jokes may or may not be a acceptable.. NEVER. Under ANY circumstances will rude, cruel, or offensive jokes be tolerated. This includes but is not limited to, sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, and any other statements than are meant in a joking manner.

So far, steps 4, and 1 are easiest to do, 'till I meet her other friends, and we're dating.