I can't put a line through words on wattpad so pretend words in italics have a line through it ok
It was a quiet summer night in the city of Liyue and the emo depressed brocken 😭😭😭🖤🖤🖤❤️🩹⛓⛓⛓yaksha was taking a stroll.
Hearing the sound of energetic laughter he turned his head out of curiosity to see the source.
And it was the most sexiest beautiful person he ever saw.
With those perfectly sculpted feet bright youthful eyes and that warm inviting smile on her lips, she looked just like the woman in his dreams last night who he hotly made out with held close and never wanted the embrace to end.
"Hello, good sir!"
In shock, he realized the girl was now up in his face.
Oh, how he wanted to hotly make out on the spot hold her now. She smelled of plum blossoms and death and looked even more precious up close. He felt safe from karmic debt in her presence, as if nothing bothered him. He felt calm, and that everything was fine. He felt-
"I'm the 77th director of the WangSheng Funeral Parlor"
oh, that explains the release from karmic debt he feels.
"and I couldn't help noticing you looked a bit down. Did someone close to you pass away? We offer 25% off discounts!"
"No, no.. But I would like to ask something from you."
Albeit a bit disappointed a potential new client was gone, she agreed.
"would you like to hotly make out with me uwu"
Her face reddened like period blood and she started sputtering.
"I- Well- Um- Could...Could you repeat that, sir?"
The yaksha was stuck. He couldn't ask that again, no, he would be humiliated and even more brocken 🖤🖤🥺🥺🥺⛓⛓😭😭😭 than before. He racked his brain for something else, anything else to respond with.
"Would you release me from my karmic debt?"
He didn't know why he said that. No, he shouldn't be asking a mere mortal for help. He should't be indebted to a human, or let one meddle in his affairs, risking them getting hurt on his terms and thus breaking his contract with Morax.
But here there were.
He was standing in a circle with a star in the middle, with candles around.
The mortal took their "Staff of tHoma", started poking him in questionable places, and began to chant about piss.
"Oh, Satan, drink this one's suffering like you drank Lil Nas X's piss, and deprive him of all past sins"
WAIT WHAT
"THOU SHALL REPEATETH FOR THY SATAN TO DRINK THE SINNER'S WRONGDOINGS LIKE PISS, AND FREE THE SOUL OF ALL SUFFERING!"
The circle then glowed, and he fell unconscious.
The next morning, he woke up in the mortal's bed.
"Ah, you're awake. How do you feel?"
..."I feel free."
"Thats nice. What's not so nice, however, is if you make it to hell, Satan will pee back the sins he drank from you and you will have to suffer with it for the rest of eternity."
He should've just ignored her last night.
YOU ARE READING
im pretty sure my dad didn't leave for milk
FanfictionHu Tao has a kid, and the father is unknown. Or, an AU where it's the archons that give out visions, not Celestia, and a similar-to-riordanverse AU where if an immortal has a kid with a mortal they go to get milk and don't come back. I know canonly...
