The Best of Her

Chapter five

Mavis.

I raise the volume of my music until I can't hear anything but it. I try to make my brain focus on the lyrics but my brain hates me and never listens to me.

I walk faster, feeling my heartbeat accelerate with every rushed step I take. I'm starting to get breathless but I don't stop. I walk and walk until I'm in a small downtown alley. I bring out the joint, my hands shaking when I lighten it up and I pray that it works fast enough so I can finally relieve some tension from this damned body.

A few puffs later I finally feel like I can breathe. I love cannabis, saved me many times from unwanted meltdowns. I know how damaging suppressing meltdowns can be but I don't care, I'm not about to cause a hysteria scene in the middle of nowhere.

God, I don't even know what caused this one. No, I actually know. It's because of him. I don't know why his unasked-for opinion infuriated me so much, he is so wrong but the fact that I couldn't correct him irked me more.

I don't have daddy issues. It's true, I have some problems with my dad, but I love him and he is a good father. He just can be very stubborn and always has to be right. I guess I've got that from him.

For the brat part he was probably right, I know I'm a bitch and I know that I'm mean and rude and I have no excuses for that I just don't care enough to be nice.

And now June really got on my bad side, thinking he got me all figured out when he doesn't even know me. I hate people like him.

People who are always there for their friends, people who are nice to everyone and don't tolerate injustice. I'm the exact opposite of that, so he probably hates me too.

It's going to be hell working with him.

I took another puff when I heard my phone ringing, reading the caller id made me internally curse. "Shit,"

"What do you want?" I ask into the phone.

"Well I missed you too sis," Wren's booming voice came out strong from the speaker. Always so cheerful, well most of the time cheerful because he can be a pain in the ass just like now. We all got that from my lovely father.

My mother is a saint and I feel lucky to have her in our lives. How she can handle us? that's still a mystery to me.

"Are you outside? It's getting pretty late for your time zone, no?" he asks, using his big brother caring voice.

I love him and I love Arden too, but It's enough that I have one overprotective dad. "I was heading home."

"Really? Where were you?"

"Getting weed," I respond and step on the finished cigarette before turning around and starting to walk.

"Mavi! What did I tell you about buying from unknown dealers? It can get messy. You should have called me, I would have called an old friend of mine." I half-smile at his bullshit, If Arden heard him he would give him a big ass talk on how he should be scolding me and not telling me he would give me a word with his old drug dealer.

I miss them a lot sometimes, when we are together we always have the best times. "Chill bro, it's only weed not cocaine."

"You better not touch that stuff," he takes his serious tone all of a sudden. I nod even though he can't see me, "don't worry, I may be crazy but I'm not an idiot." At least i stopped being an idiot.

"Mavis," he warns. "Stop calling yourself crazy, how many times do we have to tell you you're not."

I am though, but they won't understand. They don't get it and will never get it and it's frustrating that they can't accept reality when I do. I'm not okay in the head and that's okay to me. No shame in it.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say. How is the master's degree going?" I try to change the subject rather than talk about myself.

"Well it's fucking hard and exhausting but I still love what I do, so it's worth it." he studies something that has to do with biology, I don't really know the details just that it has always been his dream to be a scientist and I'm proud that he is achieving his dream, even if that means he has to be miles away.

"Good for you,"

"What about you? How's the new school? The changes not taking a big toll on you?" he says even though he already knew the answers. I hate changes but I have to go through them to continue with life. "It's going, I only have a year left before I'm done, so it's alright."

"I hope you like it though and you're not just doing it because you want to be done with it." I'm majoring in psychology, and I only picked it out because I want to know what's wrong with my brain without having someone else do it for me. I don't necessarily hate it but I'm not that passionate about it, and then again I'm not passionate about a lot of things apart from when I'm going through an obsessive phase over a certain subject.

"Don't worry about it, I like it enough," I reply brushing it off. "Have you heard from Arden?"

"Oh no, I didn't. Apparently, he is too much of a superstar to call us," he announces, his voice full of sarcasm. Arden recently got scouted for an Nfl's team. Just like Wren, it has always been his dream. It's also very cliche how polar opposite my twin brothers are.

"He must be busy," I sniff from the cold, my dumb ass forgot to bring a jacket.

"Are you crying?" before I could answer back, he beats me to it, "I will call Arden to tell him you're crying about him not making enough time for you. I'm sure he will take the first flight home,"

I chuckle at him but know deep down that Arden could actually do that. He takes his oldest brother's role too seriously sometimes. "I'm not crying you, idiot. I'm just cold."

He heavily sighs, very dramatically if I might add. "What a shame, I wanted to do it."

I shake my head at him, "go back to do your scientist job, I'm going home."

"Alright, take care sis, and start dressing warm the weather is getting cold. Love you." he chirps into the phone.

"Love you too, bye." I hang up the phone and take the long way home.