Alana's POV
2 words was all I Heard and It Broke Me , Damaged Me , Killed Me Inside , How Do You Deal With This News ?
How Am I Supposed to Just Move On With My Life When I Just Got This News ?
* Flash Back To Phone Call with Lexi *
A : Lexi What's wrong why are you crying ?
L : it's- it's Nate Lana He's Dead
As soon as I heard that I dropped the jar of jelly I had in my hand and it fell to the floor shattered Just Like Me .
A : wha-wha-what do you mean he's dead?
L : remeber that guy we owned money to ? I think he shot Nate because we never payed
A: Lexi I have to g-go
I hung up and fell down to the floor and bursted out crying , Feeling All These Emotions guilt,anger,sadness mostly GUILT & ANGER it's my fault he's gone It's My Fault ...
The Guy I love is gone , I'll never See His Smile Or Him or The Stupid Jokes He Told Or Watch His Games or Anything ! " hey what was th-omg Alana what's wrong ?!!" Myles Yelled And Ran Over to me And Hugged Me
All I keep repeating was the same 3 words It's my fault Im officially broken
" Kalin !!" myles Yelled I was to zoned out to listen or even pay attention to anything besides Nate He's gone and I'm the reason why .. " what-Alana!" Kalin rushed to my side " what's wrong ?" Funny everyone wants to know what's wrong " he's gone " "who's gone ?" " Nate he's gone and it's my fault , HES GONE AND IM THE REASON WHY MY STUPID DECISIONS TOOK AWAY AN INNOCENT LIFE HE LOST HIS LIFE BECAUSE OF ME HES NEVER COMING BACK " I yelled standing up " Alana come here " myles said trying to hug me "No Get Away From Me I Cheated on Him With You " I said coldly " I love Him Kalin He's Probaly The Love Of My Life He's A Good Guy He Was A good Guy , He had a future , he wanted to go to collage he was coming here to UCLA for Me and He's Gone Because Of My Selfishness my carelessness " " shh Lana it's okay come here " Kalin said lightly " k-Kalin make it stop it hurts , MAKE IT STOP PLEASE ! " I said falling back down to the floor with Kalin holding me tight and whispering Things like Shh or Don't cry Babygirl . " I'm going to my room " I said standing up it was like although I had all these emotions I like let them be on the inside but on the outside it looked like I just turn my emotions off
" Look Lana I-" myles said only to be cut off by me " Don't Fucking Call me That And Take A FUCKING HINT I DONT LIKE YOU NOR HAVE I EVER I USED YOU FOR SEX THATS IT YOU IDIOT NOW LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN YOUR THOAT " I said slightly raising my voice the kid looked broken like the love of his life just died . Selfish son Of A Bitch Nate Just Died And He Wants to say those stupid " I'm Sorrys " or "sorry for your lost " . I walked in my room and went to my " Special Bag "
And got some drugs Molly,Ecstasy,cocaine,and some other random pills . I took some vodka swallowed all the pills not caring anymore and did the one thing I promised Nate I Would Never Do again Cocaine . I grabbed a credit card and something to sniff it up & smashed it up and sniffed it all . Feeling sleepy I wrote a note to Kalin and myles just incase I don't ever wake up again .
Dear Myles ,
I'm sorry .
Dear Kalin ,
I don't know if I'll wake up but just know I love you and it's not your fault
Tell my mom and sister I love them and no dumbass this isn't a suicide note this is just a ' what if ' note if I don't wake up . Tell matt I love him to and he's been an Amazing bestfriend And tell Lexi I'm sorry but I love her
Goodbye Kalin , Goodbye world
I love You Nate Mcall And Myles Parrish .
YOU ARE READING
K W L C (currently editing !)
FanfictionShe gets in trouble at school so she's moving to LA to live with her cousin kalin thinking all will be well until a certain Poof pops into her life ( this book is messy af I'm sorry i wrote it like 2 or 3 years ago and it was my first book )
