Mental Mentality of my Prescription

We sneaked like snakes in the bursh

It was about a quarter past 12 when Amelia and I finally got home. The house seemed so dark and uninviting. The place I had, started to feel was worthy of being called "home" was now nothing more than empty walls and open spaces.

As I laid out stretch in my make sharp sofa of a bed, the phone lit up, it was Eken.

Eken: Hey you up?

Snow: Yeah

Eken: Where are you at?

Snow: With Amelia, why?

Eken: Just be careful please.

Snow: Okay

Eken: Well, I'm going to sleep now ttyl.

I never really talked to Eken back in school and I don't see why she's being so nice to me now. Most people become like wolves picking at your carcass why they smell the fear and weakness you give off. But strangely not her, she actually wanted to help me. But who can I even trust, Ricky is a constant problem, he haunts my dreams and stalks my days. For I am never truly alone.

After rolling around in bed for a while, I decided to have a few pills, I didn't care drugs were drugs at this point. I went into the kitchen and opened the drawers there was tons to chose from. Nearly every over the counter drug you could buy. Cough super, pain relievers, just anything I could use to ease the torment of it all.

It was about 6am when my phone wouldn't shut up. I couldn't feel my body, but I could hear my thoughts screaming. "Get up! Get up!" But I couldn't move, it took everything I had in my strength. To even reach out to the phone , and answer the uncanny number of unread messages. Ashley, seemed to have needed me, and Eken apparently, was trying to reach me for her. I didn't care what they needed I could only turn the phone over, removing the blinding light from my drunken eyes.

I just, laid there, staring up at the ceiling. Watching as the fan blades turn, making circles in my head. Spinning and spinning constantly on end, never ending, never breaking. Was this my life a constant revolution, of circular blades that never cut, yet always slice. Much like the scars I write into my arms.

It was going on seven thirty now and I couldn't even recall what it was that I was running from. Was Ricky even after me or was it that I was to stupid to realize he was dead. I didn't know and I didn't care, just the through of him gave my chills. He never did hurt me, we didn't even have sex. So why does he stalk me.

That's when a quiet voice spoke in ear. "Because you're the one that got away" And than everything made sense , was Ricky truly trying to impress me by committing such crimes. That's when it hit me, I grabbed my phone and read through the texts, my fears weren't short lived Eken had sent me a report of three girls who were attacked and killed, the other night. They all had the word "Embers" sketched into there back. "It has to be Ricky" I spoke breathlessly. But why, what does he want, why can't he let me be.

I scream in my head over and over. The constant on going conversation, the never ending calling of my beckoning blade. I can't stand this pain, I feel it deep inside me. I hate this town, and that are around. I need to leave this place and just never look back why did I even come back to this town? I hate this world, and all that inhabit. Ugh I'm such a mess. I just going to pass out.