You And Me || Kuroken

•4• Kenma

I sigh, not wanting to be here at all.
"Darling, come here!! You like oversized hoodies don't you?" She showed me a gray hoodie with Justin Bieber on it, I almost gagged I swear. I love my mom but she has no clue what I like, but it's the thought that counts.

"Mom why are we even here I have enough clothes. I'm not going to need a whole new wardrobe just for college" I say, putting the hoodie that she excitedly pushed into my hands back on the shelf. "It's a fresh start! College is a time for you to reinvent yourself, have fun, be new! And also all your current clothes have coffee stains on them and you can't wear tatty clothes at such a nice college" she put emphasis on the first part, casually saying the last part about my clothes being tatty.

"Fine, but I'm picking it out" I said, skimming the hoodies with various video game characters on them, I notice a certain hoodie that catches my eye. The print read 'Tokyo University Volleyball Club'. That's the team Kuroo plays for. I grab the hoodie down, putting it in the cart.

I picked out a few more things. Jeans, sneakers, etcetera. My mom looked upset that I basically chose complete replica of my current wardrobe. After that, we looked around the rest of the mall and we got some groceries.

I helped mom put the food away, throwing out old food as I went along. I suddenly felt a buzz from my phone, I checked it to see a message from kuroo.

Kuroo <3
Hey, I gotta cancel our call tonight, I've got an exam at seven then I have to go out with my college friends and I won't be back till about one. Sorry, kitten. I'll try to make it tomorrow.

Me
Dw abt it.

Kuroo<3
Are you okay with that

Me
Yeah

Kuroo<3
You sure?

Me
I'm sure kuroo

I put my phone back in my pocket. That night was hell without him, I couldn't sleep at all and I was crying for almost an hour. At around half one, I opened up Snapchat. Kuroo posted something on his story, a picture of him and his friends out drinking. I felt so jealous, they got to spend time with him and I didn't. Although I do see him every day, which only made me feel worse because then I felt selfish.

•|that friday|•

7 : 4 8

Kuroo
I know it's been every day this week but I'm gonna be busy again.
Sorry.

Me
What are you busy with?

Read

He left me on read. Is it my fault, am I getting too clingy? Maybe he just wants time away from me, I know I can be a bit annoying sometimes.. I thought he liked our calls, I did. Did I do something to make him mad? He's never been the talk it out type of guy, he tends to push things away until he breaks down. It's always something I've tried to help him with but he just couldn't fix it.

Me
Kuroo are you avoiding me? If I did something I'm sorry

He took three hours to reply. The three hours felt sempiternal, more like an entire lifetime than anything. The buzzing of the phone disturbed my concentrated gaze at his messages as the caller ID read 'Kuroo'. I picked up almost immediately.

"Hey kitten ! I.. uh.. I just wanted to say.. im not ma- Oh my god bokuto I'm on the phone ! Uh yeah I'm not mad, just got loads going on"
I heard music blaring from the background. He sounded intoxicated.
"Kuroo are you drunk? I thought you said you had school?" I said. I was probably freaking out over nothing but I was not in a stable place so everything was amplified. I felt like speakers were next to me blaring my emotions. I was so panicked I felt it physically in my chest. Tears formed in my eyes.
"Uhm... Yeah sweetheart.. the thing is I've been really stressed, and this is just how I'm relaxing."
"Well could you not talk to me instead? I'm your boyfriend, you should be able to come to me." I say, trying to keep my voice strong as tears threaten to trickle down my cheeks.
"Kenma I've been stressed planning you're party."
"So I'm making you stressed?"
"No kitte-"
"Fine then. I'll leave you alone. I don't want to be around someone who doesn't even want me here."
"Kenma you know that's not what I was going to say, now if you're going to be a bitch then don't. I'm done. I'm not putting up with someone who's gonna act so goddamn childish."

He hung up. I threw my phone access the room, screaming into my pillow. I'm so glad my parents aren't home tonight. Why do I do this to myself? Am I just such a masochist that I can't let myself be happy? Great now I've fucked everything. The party is literally tomorrow. so it's too late to cancel, and he has to be there, his parents said so. That is gonna be so awkward.

I just ruined us. The perfect relationship, he was my other half. The love of my life and I lost him all because of a few calls? I'm fucking done with this. I fall back onto my bed, sobbing as hard as ever as my tears stain the brand new pillow case my mom got me. I stare at the wall, thoughts racing through my head so fast I couldn't even understand them myself. What if he hates me now? Normally we just kiss and make up but he's not here for that, he's out getting drunk with Bokuto and his other friends from university.

I get up, walking myself to the bathroom as I stated into the mirror. Staring at myself as I feel sick to my stomach. I grab a razor from the cabinet and I'm sure you can figure out the rest.