The Black Swordsman

Chapter 31: Being a Mom

Kyouko Yuuki, Asuna's mother, stepped into her daughter's hospital room for the first time in what felt like forever. Her husband had constantly tried to convince her to visit her daughter with him but she always refused. Kyouko was sure that her husband thought that she was being cruel and unfair to their daughter. In fact, her husband usually felt this way about her in general...it was one of the main reasons that the two of them were separated...that and the fact that she caught him cheating on her. At the same time, she debated whether or not it was fair to put all of the blame on him, especially because of her constant disinterest in fixing their relationship and keeping it healthy. As much as she hated to admit it, her husband had a point. She was consumed by her work and it affected her role as both a wife and a mother. Although, she always thought it was funny that her husband always told her this while never taking the time to visit his daughter when she was awake in the real world. Only now that she was in a coma was he visiting her. He tried to act like he was better than her when she was the one that had to take care of Asuna all by herself for the majority of the time, with limited assistance from him. In terms of what brought Kyouko to Asuna's hospital room, she wasn't quite sure, herself. Was it guilt...sadness...regret...or a mix of several different emotions that she hated to feel? She couldn't be sure but here she was, standing in front of her daughter, who was still lying on her hospital bed with the Nerve Gear attached to her head. Her body was incredibly frail and skinny, despite the minimal nourishment that she was being fed by the nurses. Kyouko was aware that Asuna was getting better treatment than many of the other individuals that were stuck in SAO and a part of her wondered if this was one of the reasons that her daughter was the only one who hadn't woken up, yet. Kyouko took a small glance at Asuna's vitals and they seemed stable which provided her with a small bit of relief.

What the hell am I supposed to do, now? questioned Kyouko to herself. Hell, why am I even here? Asuna would probably rather have her father here visiting her. Me being her is probably only making her more stressed. I mean...that's all I'm good for, at the end of the day...causing the poor girl stress. Everyone constantly tells me that I'm too harsh on her but...it's just that I know how hard this world is and I want her to be as prepared as she can be for it. I want her to succeed and live a fulfilling life. Could I be a bit easier on her? I suppose. But if Asuna gets too comfortable with being ordinary, she will never push herself to be exemplary which I know for certain she is capable of. She is my daughter, after all. Then again, my husband's words during that one fight still stick with me. He said that it was my strictness and harshness that caused Asuna to put on this stupid device in the first place because I didn't let her have enough breaks...or fun, for that matter. I can't argue with that. Asuna always tried to convince me to allow her to do fun things with the other kids but I always pushed her to study, instead. As a result, I don't think I've ever heard Asuna talk about any friends. I wonder if she even has any? Who am I kidding, the poor girl probably doesn't...just like her mother didn't when she was in school. Damn it. I hate thinking about all of this stupid stuff. I knew I shouldn't have come here. I...need to sit down for a moment.

Kyouko sat down in a chair that was right next to Asuna's hospital bed to catch her thoughts. She took another look at her daughter and this time, the sight was too much for her to handle as it caused her to break down into tears.

"I-I hate crying," complained Kyouko. "It...it shows weakness...that's why I always told you not to cry around others. I-I just hate seeing you like this, Asuna. W-what kind of mother ever wants to see her daughter like this? I...really shouldn't have come here. Now, I feel sick to my stomach."

Through more tears Kyouko muttered, "I-it's so hard being a mother. It's so damn hard."

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