☆Thin Ice☆ - Bernard x Y/N (gender neutral)

☆Chapter 3 - Lies ☆

I felt so sad to put it simply. But in more complex terms I was depressed and I felt like I had lost the core of my heart. Every day felt closer to my end and I was getting pretty damn close. My eyes were red and sore from crying all the time. Our separation was not the only catalyst in this dangerous spiral but rather what started it all. I lost Matthew and Charlie and I grew apart. All my time, all my feelings, all my energy was poured into him and only him. I didn't hang with people as much so I got lonely. I could barely sleep without him anymore and my grades dropped tremendously. All him. But dammit I loved him. There was never anything left to say about him. I had already said too much about his peppermint smell and soft gentle touch. His lips flavored sweetness itself.

Suddenly I heard a cracking voice whisper in my ear. I froze. "Don't cry Y/N you don't need to cry anymore baby, no more..." arms wrapped me in a hug I knew instantly. The peppermint fragrance I never forgot about hit my nose and I felt the soft material of his sweater all around me. It wasn't suffocating me though, I had room to breathe and I needed it. "I'm here Y/N, finally"

"Bernard! Oh my god..." I cried out

Subconsciously I hugged Bernard back and clutched the fabric and I pulled him closer to me. I put my head in the crook of his neck and took it all in. I felt his grip on my waist tighten and he searched my back with his hands just touching me almost everywhere. I guess he couldn't believe it too.

I felt myself get closer to him around my legs. God, I just wanted to lock myself to him. I hadn't seen his face yet either but I cried even harder. "You asshole... I can't believe you" I yelled intertwining my fingers into his locks.

"Wait..." I stopped myself

Bernard felt me stopped going crazy on him and touching him everywhere and he stopped too. I pulled away and held my face to check if I was okay. "Y/N..." I slowly looked up to him. He aged a bit if that was even possible with his eyes growing even deeper and older. He looked disheveled, but I knew I did too.

"Y/N baby, are you okay sweetheart?"

Nevertheless I felt my temporary state of relief and happiness leave and arose pure anger. I remembered that night again. How could I forget? I had nightmares about it almost every night! Was I growing crazy?

Taking another look I saw that face. That damned face of the man who broke up with me. He felt bad but that wasn't enough. He made me suffer so why should he have the right to reignite this? I'm not his slave. I am not a toy.

"No... get away from me!" I pushed his hands off my face. I scooted back to the closed door and I knew I looked crazy.

Bernard stayed put and didn't extend a hand to me. Instead, he looked down in shame.

"Okay, at least he didn't try to force an apology to me..." I thought amazed

"Y/N we-we need to talk. I'm serious. I mean we haven't seen each other in two years. We can't go on like this babe-I-sorry I didn't mean to-" he sighed after his little lecture and I paused for a moment.
With a straight face I nodded "Okay" I whispered. I was determined from getting emotional. That was annoying though. Bernard calling me "babe" seemed so... rehearsed to me at least. No one just says that. But anyways, I was gonna listen and then get him out of here maybe. Or... maybe I was going to convince him to stay and cuddle me until morning. We'd kiss and try to hold each other closer than we had before but we both would know that wasn't possible. I stayed put in my spot leaning against the door. He adjusted himself to sit properly.

"I-I..." His mouth failed him

Knock knock

"N/N, come on Dad said it's time to gooo" Charlie whined through the door

"Go without me" I called to him through the door

"What!? Come on Y/N! I had to look for your skates too..."

I sighed "Charlie I mean it"

"Okay..." he muttered and I heard his footsteps go away. Then the front door opened and shut. They were gone.

"Y/N, do you have any questions like at all?" Bernard asked, he wiped his old tears.

"Of course I have questions what do you mean? First of all, I want to know if you really broke up with me because of your job" I couldn't and wouldn't believe it was because he loved kids more than me.

"Actually no, it-it wasn't because of my job. It was because I knew we couldn't keep going on like this. I mean we should've been seeing each other everyday. You should be able to see me whenever you want or call me whenever you want not just when I feel like it" his logic made no sense to me. I felt the fury build, "Why lie?! You are such a bad lier!" I yelled.

"Y/N calm down I-" Bernard extended his hand out to me like a tamer trying to calm down a wild animal.

In the midst of all the back and forth yelling he raised his voice to me "Y/N fucking listen to me for once in your damn life!" He grabbed my shoulders "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings okay?! I never had feelings for you! I thought I did but I didn't! While in the North Pole I met someone and then I felt true feelings of love! We happened too fast and you fell in love with me way too fast and I'm sorry but this relationship was a lie okay?! All of it! I just felt bad!"

His words echoed in my head over in over like how they did when I first met him. "He showed his love for me... was it really all a facade? Everything... my whole life ruined because of a lie. I have no friends because of a lie. I lost a valuable closeness with my brother because of a lie. My life is misery because of a fucking lie" I felt no tears go down my cheeks and instead my heart exploded.

"You are a piece of shit aren't you? You've seen me haven't you? Crying almost every night. Do you know what my grades are? Terrible" he backed away from me but I came closer there was not going to be anyone escaping anything. Especially the rage I felt radiating off of me. "You ruined my life Bernard. And you want to know why? Because of a what? Say it again, I dare you" I got all up in his face and my tone stayed silent. He didn't respond so I balled my fists. "Say. It. Again." I growled putting my fist up and grabbing him by his sweater. "I-I ruined your life because of a lie" he whispered. He had a couple of tears going down his face and he held up his hands defensively. Then I saw it.

A promise ring... he'd never given me one of those...