☆Thin Ice☆ - Bernard x Y/N (gender neutral)

☆Chapter 4 - ☆

"Just... get. Out" I let his sweater go and he put his hands down. Now I felt the tears reappear, like a sudden downpour. He put his hand on my face and wiped away a tear with his thumb. He himself was crying as well. "Damn it get out I said" I whispered in a cracking voice. I kissed the palm of his hand and then he stood up, leaving my cheek cold again.

I watched him as he disappeared leaving only a few sparkles that left like he did before they could even reach the ground. I sighed and stood up. "Screw him" I muttered, I wiped the last of my tears and got dressed. I wasn't going to be held back by him anymore dammit. I wasn't going to let my memories of Bernard plague all of my opportunities with sadness and loneliness. I was missing out on so many things because of him.

"What a stupid reason to cry" I scoffed at myself

I left and closed my bedroom door behind me. Jumping down the stairs with a new found confidence I left the house ready to set out. I felt the sunshine and breeze hit my face. I'd never gotten to really appreciate it.

"Where should I go?" I thought, the realization that I'd barely left my house hit me. Then the image of the park crept into my thoughts. The swings specifically. I liked swings, I remembered going to that park when I was younger. Swinging on the swings were always a fun pastime. Why couldn't they be now?

I set out, a bit nervous but confident. Heading down the sidewalk I balled up my fists. I felt like everyone was looking at me. I didn't like it.

"Dammit I wish I brought my Walkman" I muttered to myself.

"Almost forgot this, Doll! - B"

"No Y/N... you don't need it at all" I dug my fingernails into my palm. My pace slowed a little, and then I stood there. I looked down at my hands, red from where I pressed my nails into. I looked up at the sidewalk. I just saw a sidewalk.

"Why can't I see it? Where I'm going"

I looked around me. Neighbors and people walking their dogs and mowing their lawns. I was just someone standing here. I am no different from yesterday. I still had eyebags but I pretended they weren't there for a brief moment. I was trying to heal a deathly wound with adrenaline. There was no way I was going to spring up after a major breakup like this. Not with this new found information.

I was trying to hide my sadness and anger too. I was trying to be perfect. It was okay to feel what I felt and I needed to realize that then.

I looked at my clothes and I was dressed in mostly white. "Yikes... I guess it's gonna be a long time until I heal from this..." all I could do was be patient and heal. I was being too hasty.

I went back home and just sat on my couch. What was I to do now? I was alone in an empty house. "Maybe I should've gone with Dad and Charlie... Wait no! If I had I'd still been pretty sad about Bernard, sooo it's good to be here, alone" I wasn't sad about it just still processing the days events. "Maybe I could watch a movie" I thought. I hadn't in a long time. I always seemed to be busy with something else.

I managed to find a movie that had just started on the TV, but I wasn't able to watch it. Unfortunately, Bernard always managed to weasel his way into my mind these days and I was so tired. 

Author's Note~

Very short chapter I know but I need a new start to this real quick so yeah