Not My Fairytale.

Chapter 11: January 27, 2022

Wrote on: January 27, 2022    6:44 pm

I guess I kind of had a minor burnout yesterday. I was juggling all my activities and studying at the same time. So, I had good night sleep. 

I woke up feeling good at the same time feeling a little bit of hangover. I think it was because I had only 5 hours of sleep. And just 5 minutes ago I was feeling my chest. The bones (if I'm not wrong) on my lower clavicle area felt painful. I don't know how to react. This became my cycle since last year. And it hurts so bad that I can't easily open this up to my parents.

I can't count on how many times I listened to Gary Valenciano's songs on repeat every single day. Try listening if you are also in trouble.

I really don't know. Really. It gives me comfort. The lyrics of the song just hit me right there.

I always wondered. How do they react when they heard their diagnosis? How do they cope? What runs in their mind? 

Anywayyyy...

I woke up at 7:00 am because my roommate woke me up. 

Our first quiz about the Integumentary System will start at 7:30 am. 

I instantly went down from my bed without even arranging my pillows. I grabbed my laptop, cellphone and menthol from my bed since I worked late last night. 

We were both panicking because time was running real quick and we still haven't eaten a single food. We prepared our positions, changed into our nursing uniforms and hurriedly assembled our laptops because a google meet link was already sent to our group chat by our instructor. 

We were going to a war without anything. We didn't study about the topics for today. We heavy relied on sources and our stock knowledge. 

For today, we are having Integumentary, Nervous, Skeletal, Special Senses, and Endocrine System. five quizzes all in all. 

I thought it wouldn't be that tiring at all but after our third quiz I was already drained. My was aching. I almost felt like I had another pulse on my brain. That was how it felt like. 

What we see in the books is not everything. 

While taking the quizzes, we were stressed out by the fact that the images in the book was different from how it looked like in the cadaver. 

The picture of the exposed cranial nerves of a cadaver was difficult that we used most of the time pondering on which is which. In the end, we gave up. There was no use of trying so hard because it was hardly identifiable. 

The last quiz almost took my breath away in a bad sense. After the quiz, my heart was racing not out of happiness but I just feel high and I don't even know why. I kept holding and massaging my chest because it kind of felt tight. I didn't really recognize it but I was really stressed about what happened on this day. 

After the quizzes, I thought, I feel like I was not giving my all, that I was not yet giving my very best. But I was exhausted. So I silently lay down at my roommate's bed. I stared for I don't know how long. I scrolled through Tiktok and Facebook as if there was nothing else I had to work on. It was like stripping off all the heavy weight out of my system. 

I stayed that way for some time. It was already my "rest" 

I started to calm down after that brief rest. 

We then ordered dinner from Jollibee. We deserved good food after all the effort earlier. 

Today was indeed tiring. But, the smallest things in my life was making everything feel a lot better. I was doing well, at least that's what I think. I am still hanging on for dear life. I am still hoping, and praying so hard that the future I have in mind is the future the the Lord has set for me. Nevertheless, I'm thankful for everyday. 

Remember:

If you are tired, take a break. You may not have all the time in this world but a good rest can be a good start. Resting isn't wasting your time. It is treating your body with the utmost care it needs.