"That's too kind to do for it to be true" - SBI hero Au/bystanderinnit

9. When did strawberries get so nosy and why is the milk dud being rude?

Trigger warning: A small mention of past panic attack

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For some reason it was easy to get out of its control and it was really convenient that I just happen to have one post it note and a pen in my pocket

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Techno's point of view*

I don't trust that Dream guy. He acts all suspicious but the biggest reason I don't trust him is his laugh. Who the [Fire pit] else laughs, ends up almost dying, and then coughs up something and they become alright? The Neon God.

Now I know this sounds like a crazy and unbelievable conspiracy theory that someone came up with by just making up random [Doo doo] but it makes sense. He's friends with the suspect that could possibly either be a psychopathic murder or a kidnapper that takes children as their own

I don't care which is right, well maybe I do since one of them is murder, because he is still going to jail for a long time and I'm going to make sure of it. That is why I'm going to go as a civilian into the cafe

"Phiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil" I say in the laziest way possible. I'm waiting for him to take me and would go alone but I don't want to talk, I just want to stalk. They are not the same thing and will never be the same thing.

"Mate, I'm not going with you. If you just want some sweets then go do it yourself but I am not going to help you stalk a poor boy" How dare he. "He could be a middle aged man that has a baby face. We went to research his shop and our internet went out and that doesn't seem at all suspicious to you?"

He sighed and said "Fine. If you are so adamant about not going alone then you can take Wilbur with you"

"Oh hell no. I am not going to be taking that...thing with me. Do you know how much he will try to embarrass me? He gave my hero name to him as soon as he could. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why." "Tell the, maybe maybe not, kid that he was married to a salmon if he does anything! Just shut up and go get Wilbur before I end up murdering the first person I see"

I smirk as I walk upstairs to WIlbur's room. That always works and I'll never stop using it. Maybe I'll even teach my non-existent kids how to do it "Wiiiilllbuuuuuuurrrr. Father crow said that you had to come with me to get cake"

Wilbur instantly opened the door with full force and yelled in my face "WHAT!?" "Well I can't drive so just help your older brother for once" I'm technically the youngest since piglin hybrids are set back by three to four years to get our piglin attributes in a cacoon thingy so while he is 21 I'm 17 or 18. I guess we aren't really twins but he doesn't know that

OH MY GOD. I JUST REALIZED THAT I'M UNDERAGE

HOLY [Fire place], I REALLY CAN'T BUY DRINKS!

But nobody knows

Hahahaha. I've committed that crime so many times

Wait, how is Wilbur so stupid that he didn't notice that I didn't exist for three or four years....I'm brothers with a [Very dumb dumb] [Extra dumb dumb]

I got snapped out of my thoughts when I felt a hand touch my shoulder "Techno? You good?" I almost punched him. Why in the world would someone do that?

I huffed and said "Just get your damn keys." Wilbur burst out laughing and said "I forgot that you can't drive!" I slapped him and just walked back downstairs to his car

!Trigger Warning!

He just loves to rub it in that I had a panic attack right before I took the test because I was afraid of not passing. Obviously no one knows that I have a panic attack so it's not on him that it hurts

I wish I could tell them about it because it's hard to keep my emotions in sometimes and be this amazing emotionless piglin who can do anything but I can't have Phil worry for me just because I'm too lame to deal with my anxiety and end up having a panic attack

!Trigger Warning over!

Enough of this sappy [Doo doo]

Time skip

When Wilbur and I finally got to the cafe he looked disgusted

What kind of rant am I going to get now "Why is the outside painted red and white? Those are just making me think of murder. Wouldn't you rather have it have a nice pale yellow and light brown with just a little bit of dark brown" He said while walking inside

The blonde seemed to have heard him because when we walked in he said "Well I'm sorry that nobody shares the same opinion old man. And are you really that single that you're about to moan at the thought of colors? Because that's what you look like and it's just gross man."

"The blondie is right, Wilbur, you're an old and lonely man who writes songs about being lonely." He looks like he's about to explode and it's hilarious "YOU'RE THE SAME AGE AS ME!" "That's a lie if I ever heard one. You look like you're in your 40's but he looks like he's about to be in his twenties"

"Well thank you tall child for insulting him. If you agree I shall pay you money to call him names everytime you see h-" "I'll take it."

...That was too fast "Are you sure? I haven't even said the amount of money yet" "I'm sixteen and a broke father of five with two best friends living with me that don't pay for [Doo doo] because they work for me. I need any money I can get"

My heart felt like it was getting pulled. He infected me. He had to, there's no other explaination for me getting all sympathetic by hearing only two lines

I've never felt this before. I look at Wilbur and he's tearing up. So I'm not the only one. What's this kid's power? It's an extremely powerful one and maybe we can even use it at the hero agency...

"Kid, how would you like to be an intern at the agency?" Wilbur's head whipped to look at me and his eyes were saying 'What are you doing'

"What do you mean?" I sighed

I'm going to have to confess, won't I?

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Number of words: 1,102