This one is short so I'm sorry
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I hate him
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Tubbo's point of view*
I run up to Eret's shop and start shaking him "ERET! ERET! ERET! HELP! HELP! HELP!" I started shaking her to show her that this is really really important. "Yes Tu-" "TOMMY ISN'T AT WORK! HE'S BEEN GONE FOR THREE WHOLE FUCKING DAYS!"
"Hmmm let's wait five seconds. Usually, he comes right at this moment or something happens that makes us remember where he went"
I wait and wait and wait. After the five seconds are up I yell "ERE-" then the news comes on
When did they even turn on the T.V.? Wait, when was there a T.V. in this room!?
"Siren, Blade, and Inconspicuous, also known as the SBI, want to make a public announcement." Was said by the news reporter shortly before the camera panned over to the heroes.
...of course
"Hello mother fu-" "TOMMY!" "Sorry..." Siren cleared his throat and said "This gremlin is Tommy. He is now officially a part of the SBI." He looked scared for some reason
"If anybody dares to touch, look, or talk to my baby in the slightest wrong way then say goodbye to whatever he wants. It can range from a finger to your head."
After The Blade said that Tommy started whining and pouted "Blade! I'm not a baby" Blade huffed and picked Tommy up and cradled him until he slept
Then he glared. He hasn't blinked this entire fucking time. What the fuck is wrong with him!?
He continued glaring and then I realized why. It was so the camera would get off of him and Tommy. Leave it to him to get a hero to be overprotective of him.
He's already got Ranboo searching all over the city for him.
Speaking of him, he should be looking for something Tommy loves dearly, like some literal fairy tale shit, so I wonder where he is.
Oh, purple floozies are upon me. It is my time to shine, Ranboob. Where the hell am I going now?
It takes a while for the purple floofs to go away, but when they do I looked around and was only able to think about the terrible things that could be possible.
It's the SBI's place.
With a camera on us.
We're fucked.
"BOO! WHAT THE HELL!?" Ranboo stayed silent as I continued to yell at him and didn't stop until I remembered we have an audience.
"Tubbo, Ranboob!" Tommy tries to jump out of The Blade's arms but Blade still has a tight grip on him that is preventing him from doing so.
"Uh, is it fine if you can just stop recording? This is kinda personal, mate." Then the red button was gone and everybody started leaving. The only man, as Tommy puts it, is very respected in this world
"Techie! Put me down before I say I love Waller m-" He was put down almost instantly and then ran to us with a big grin.
I haven't seen him this happy in a while. I don't like these three adults at all.
What do I say now? I mean, anything I say will sound weird after not talking with him for three days because he was technically kidnapped.
"So, Tubso, why's Ran in his Enderman state?" Is he stupid? "Are you stupid? You were missing for three whole days! I forgot how much of an id-"
I let out a scream when I got picked up "TECHIE! NO! LET TUBBO DOWN! PLEASE, TECHIE! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!" I was quickly let down and caught by Tommy.
Wait,
Shit.
Yup,
I fell.
On Tommy.
And why?
Because he is literally the weakest person alive.
When you combine naturally horrible athletic ability, poor health, malnutrition, laziness, and a vow to never exercise more than required, which is why Ranboo carries his everywhere, then you get a Tommy.
His official title is Tommy, the most unathletic child in the universe who can still somehow chase you for up to at least 53 miles if you call him a child without breaking a sweat
Ranboo and I call it the power of the swears because he cursed at us almost every second while we ran even when he sounded like he was out of breath. I am very sorry for the victim who lasts 53 miles. Them being Ranboob, which makes it even more impressive. That little shit really chased him for that long, and he was teleporting. I hate those tall, fast fucks. I despise them.
"Tubso, wake the fuck up, or else Michael is mine." For good measures, he added, "You bitch." This little shit.
I stand up and tackle him "FUCK YOU TO-"
SNAP
"AHHHHH" OH FUCK OH FUCK
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Siren looked at me like I committed a felony. I probably have at this point. My felony is staying alive.
Wait.
Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiiive. Stayin' alive. I can't fully remember the song. Don't judge.
"DUDE! YOU JUST FUCKING BROKE HIS ARM!" Right, I did do that.
"YOU BITCH!" I glared at him "Call me a bitch again and I'll break The Blade's arm too."
"Y-" He passed out
What a wi-
Oh, I passed out.
Never mind, I'm the wimp.
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I have figured it out. I will publish like three or four chapters at the same time and then disappear for two weeks or so and do the same. That way y'all are content and can read it all at once instead of waiting for two chapters to be published to read one in the case of a cliffhanger
Edit: LIES ARE ALL I TELL
Number of words: 957
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"That's too kind to do for it to be true" - SBI hero Au/bystanderinnit
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