𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞- Spider Girl

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧: 𝐅𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥

"Where did you go last night?"Cindy asked the next morning when I woke up.

"Just a walk," I smiled weakly, "what time is it?" 

"8:47," she replied, getting eggs and a pan out. I had two hours to get ready, eat and get there. Fun.

I slipped on the dress. It was a little big, but it was Mae's and I wanted to wear it just for this. I put on some simple foundation and blush, a bit of dark eyeshadow and mascara. I was sure I was going to regret it later. I put on an old black hoodie for the drive there and the black converse. Cindy's parents were waiting when I was ready, smiling pitifully at me.

"Eggs?" They offered me a plate, and I took it, eating only a little bit. I felt like there was a hole in my stomach, forcing me to not be able to eat in fear of throwing up.

"We'll be driving you there," Cindy's Mum said, "just for safety,"

I had my license, I just didn't use it that often in New York. I just nodded and went back to my room to get my bag and we left. Cindy was wearing all black too, of course. She was wearing a black skirt and black leggings with a long black coat with it. It took half an hour to get there, but I just put in my headphones and drowned out the small talk and the noise. When the car stopped at the entrance, I and Cindy went straight in while her parents stayed behind to talk to the receptionist. Half of the people were already here, still waiting by the gate. Gunner came up to us, squeezing past the small crowd.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked.

"Amazing," I said, my smile cracking.

"Sarcasm, wonderful," he rolled his eyes, chuckling, "got a speech yet?"

"About that," I smiled, "I think I'll just go from scratch,"

"Good luck," he said, shaking his head.

"I'll need it,"

We let the guests in once the chairs were set up, and it made me pained to think that no close relatives were there. My only relatives were my second cousin and great aunt who couldn't care for me as she was always travelling. So many people came up to me, telling me how they knew Mae and that they were so distraught by her death. When speeches came, I wanted to go last. Not many people did speeches, but those who did barely knew here, so I don't know why they were even there. I didn't want to hear them talk about my sister. Only when Cindy went up did I listen.

"I didn't know Mae as well as Kendrix did," she began, "but to me, she was like the sister I never had. She took care of me every time I stayed over at her house with Kendri, every time my parents had to go on a big business trip and I had nowhere to go," I could see Cindy's parents freeze up at that, "but through that. She was one of my best friends and she and Kendra were the only people who knew me better than I knew myself. I'll love her forever," a tear sprung down Cindy's face as she nodded and walked away from the front to her seat next to me. I rested my head on her shoulder and hugged her tightly. It was my turn. I walked up to the same place Cindy was, my stomach lurching.

"Well..." I gulped, freezing. Shit. What do I say? Everyone was looking at me, looking at what I had to say. I pictured Mae sitting there, a big smile on her face, ready for me. It made me feel better.

"So, I'm just gonna come out and say that I don't have a speech prepared," I said, "I didn't think I needed one. Talking about someone you love doesn't need a piece of paper, it should come from your heart," I breathed in a shaky breath, "Mae was someone who I saw as a mother, as a role model, as an idol. Both our parents died ages ago, and Mae took it into her hands to look after me because no one else could. Her stranger, her bravery, her kindness. Those were the things that made me want to be her. She was always there for me when I was breaking down in pain, and even though we have our ups and downs, she's the best person I've ever met, and watching her die, it-" I shuddered. Tears pricking my eyes, "I can't go through that again. I told myself every day after that that it was my fault, that I could've gotten there sooner. But I knew deep down that I had no idea where she was, and no idea what to do. Plus, everything happens for a reason, right?" Tears were streaming now, pouring down my face, "I-I just want my sister back, you know? I want the girl who looks after me every day. I want the girl who stood up for me. I want Mae,"