Living in the Past

Chapter 15

Esteban's POV 

I slowly woke up, I actually had a pretty good sleep, and honestly my bed has never felt so comfortable. I opened my eyes, and saw abuela, the first thought that came to my mind was, why was she in my room, but as i took in the surroundings I realized that I was in Abuela's room not mine. Thousand of thoughts ran through my head as to why I was in her room when I asked her, 

"Abuela, why am I sleeping in your room?" 

"Esteban, how are you feeling?" abuela asked me. 

"I feel fine, but when did I come into your room?" I replied

"Last night, I saw you in the garden and you fell asleep in my arms, so me and your abuelo brought you to our room." abuela said

'In the garden, why was I in the garden to begin with. What if they know something is wrong' I thought as I sat up in the bed. 

'Of course they know something is wrong, they are your family, not to mention you are terrible at hiding your problems. Now you have troubled them and kept them from getting a good night's sleep. ' the little voice in my head said. 

"Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" abuela asked me after I didn't say anything for a while. 

"No I am good, I will just go to my room and take a shower. Thank you for letting me sleep here abuela." I said with as big a smile as I could, and began to leave. All I wanted to do was just get out of here as soon as possible. I didn't want abuela asking questions that I don't want to answer. 

But as I was about to leave abuela put her hand on my shoulder and stop me. 

"You can go back to your room later mijo, right now we need to talk." she said leaving no room for any argument. 

"What do you want to talk about abuela?" i asked hoping that it was not what I was thinking it was. But when do I ever get what I want. 

"Esteban, mijo I know something is wrong and I need you to tell me what it is. Please." abuela said. 

Like a reflex I replied "Nothing is wrong Abuela, why would you think anything is wrong." But I didn't know how long I could keep this act up, it was obvious my familia knew something was wrong and they were not going to leave me alone until I tell them what. 

"Mijo, I have watched you grow up. I have been with you most of your life. I know when something is wrong, and I know when you are lying to me so please tell me what is bothering you. We are all worried and we can't help you until you tell us what is wrong." Abuela said

After hearing her I knew I had to tell her. I can't keep this in any longer, the guilt, the pain has been killing me slowly and I just can't take it any longer. So I took a deep breath and told her everything. The way I have been feeling, the nightmares, the guilt, everything. 

By the end of it I was sobbing in abuela's arms and she was also crying. But right there in her arms I had a feeling that I haven't had in a long time, the feeling of hope that maybe this hell of a world that I have been living in will finally be destroyed, and I can finally be happy again.  

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