MCYT oneshots

misophonia/spd!ranboo

CW/TWs
misophonia and sensory issues
panic attack
description of chewing noises
intrusive thoughts / voices

i have misophonia and sensory processing disorder! i also love inflicting my pain on characters so here ya go
[misophonia is a brain disorder in which some sounds (like chewing) are processed differently. this can lead to rage, sadness, etc.]
this is a nonmanipulative dream in it, and ranboo uses they/them in my au and is a trans boy <3

[ran and tubbo are sitting on the floor of their mansion, tubbo eating chips]
they know he knows they know they know- they're- they're trying to hurt me why am i like this why why why he just wants to help why why why
"ranboo?!"
"...huh?"
"why are you flinching?"
breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe-
"ranboo? ran, are you okay? did i do something?" tubbo blew the hair out of his face and approached ran, dropping the chips he was eating and placing his hands on ranboos shoulders.
ranboo squeezed their eyes shut, dropping their head into their knees.
"ran?" tubbo's voice cracked as he spoke. you upset tubbo. you helpless dumb-
"nonononono-" ran breathed.
ran clenched their fists. tubbo froze.
"am i hurting you, ranboo?"
ranboo looked up a tubbo, eventually closing their eyes again. "i'm sorry..."
"no, ran! it's... it's okay." tubbo exhaled, unsure of what was happening. ran winced.
shit shit shit shit shit. that was not meant to be out loud. why do i have to live like this?

tubbo

"ranboo, whatever i'm doing i'm sorry. your spiraling. please come back." ran looked back up, looking hurt. i needed to know what was going on. i needed to help.
maybe i could try to help ground him. i reached out to grab his shoulder. he flinched so hard my hand was thrown off him.
he looked up at me, shaking his head no desperately.
was this... sensory overload? dream had gotten that a few times due to adhd. i grabbed my communicator, making sure i muted it before using it.

(non-manipulative c!dream btw)
———

tubbo
dream?

dream
what's up goat man

tubbo
somethings wrong with ranboo
i think you'll be able to help?

dream
oh ofc
i'll be there asap

tubbo
thanks big d

———

i shoved the communicator back in my pocket. "i don't know if you can hear me, but i called help if that's okay. i hope it is." i gave him a smile. even if he couldn't see me, i felt like it would help.
after awhile of standing at a distance
from ran, dream came through the portal in our house.

"hey, tubb- oh. shit."

ranboo
this is PLATONIC FLUFF
i can barely breath. adding a binder to the mix didn't help.
i hadn't told him yet, had i? shit.
i tried to swallow, tried to talk, but it hurt. it triggered me. it was terrible, not even being able to live with yourself sometimes. i flexed my hands, bit my lip, let myself stim. it hardly helped.
"why's he..."
"tubbo, i think-"
i heard vague talking. it hurt. i felt so stupid, moving around like that uncontrollably. the stimming, shaking and tears. i couldn't control it.
"ranboo." a voice. not tubbo. who? why were they- "ranboo. listen, please. believe me, i know it's hard."
how would they know?
soon, i felt a tight squeeze around my body. i tried to stop the shaking. "it's okay," someone whispered in my ear. it wasn't.
i felt their chest moving up and down. breathing. match it. i felt nauseous. there was too much.
"hey, i know. it's hard. but please, calm down. breathe. it helps." i felt my face twitch, my hands move. i flexed and clenched them.
"dream?"
"yeah. it's me."
i took a deep breath, in and out. i noticed i'd been crying- and now it wouldn't stop. i buried my head into his chest. i grasped his hoodie, squeezing it. clenching and flexing. in and out. calm and steady.
"i cant breathe."
"hey, deep breaths, it's-"
i pulled away and lifted my shirt.
"you're...binding?"
i nodded.
tubbo's eyes widened. i gave a slight apologetic smile. another thing i'd skimmed over.
dream helped take off my binder, used to helping fundy when he forgot to take
it off.
i eventually sat back down and breathed well for the first time in awhile.
"hey, ran." tubbo waved.

tubbo

"hey, ran." i waved at them.
they smiled. it took them a minute, but they replied with a small "hey".
"do you... want to talk about- that?"
they nodded and took a deep breath. "i'm- actually diagnosed with um- spd. and misophonia." i cocked my head to the side.
"sensory processing disorder."
"and the.. miso-misophobic?"
"misophonia. uh. i cant handle some sounds. they... hurt." they looked down. "i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner."
"no! ran, i'm sorry that i didn't know i was hurting you. i wish i'd known. or noticed."
then, dream spoke up. "ranboo, do you know what that was?"
"no. i don't know why i reacted like that i'm-"
"no! i wasn't mad! i know what was going on. sensory overload."
that's when it all clicked in rans head. "i've heard of that! my misophonia and spd must've... combined-?"
"can i know what i did wrong so we can prevent that?"
ran shuddered. "chewing." they sighed. "why do i have to be like this?" they said in a small voice.
i glanced over at dream and we both ran to ranboo. ran sobbed a bit, trying breathe evenly. "i'm sorry. it's my own problem."
"nonononono..." dream consoled. "oh- i hate when i feel like this. ranboo, it's not all in your head. this is a real thing you struggle with, we saw it ourselves." he paused. "i get it, too."
ran sniffed and looked up. at this point, i was hugging him, his head in the crook of my neck. i looked up and mouthed a thank you to dream. he smiled and nodded. i felt them start to move around. at first i thought they were sobbing- i pulled back, panicked. they were laughing.
"miso... misophobic-" they choked out between laughs.
"fuck you, boss man."
dream was wheezing at this point.

yeah that's a bit of what it's like to live with misophonia heh