Catch Me If You Can

Chapter 12: Under My Watch

TW: sexual violence

I woke up totally destroyed. After I came home from that hell of a night yesterday, all I was thinking about was Nate's parents. I knew he was the one making a scene and acting like an idiot in front of his own family, but why was I the one feeling embarrassed? Every time he do something bad, I'm the one feeling guilty. I'm the one taking all the blame cuz I feel like me not cutting him off finally makes him think I actually enjoy playing this game with him. It's not like I can't end it for good. It's the constant feeling that he would do something terrible, to me and my friends too, if I tried to escape him. And that idea was haunting me every single day. 

I got ready school and went to school as soon as possible. Usually, I would stop by Fez's, but I wasn't really in mood after our last conversation with Jules. I told them about my brilliant plan that got absolutely fucked up in the making. Maybe it was my fault. If I stayed calm and didn't try to answer that damn question, maybe it would end up differently. But I couldn't take my words back now and I knew we're gonna meet up at school, so I tried to stay as calm as I could. He didn't even text me after I left his house, which was... interesting. But minding that he was really pissed and completely lost his cool, I think he finally started to be fed up with me. And I could enjoy the feeling of freedom for once.

I met Rue and Cassie in front of a school, so I tried to have a little chat before our first class. I haven't really talked to anyone since yesterday and I really needed to hear some voices other than those in my head. 

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Hi Ver! What were you up to? I was with Fez yesterday and he told me that you went to meet Nate Jacob's parents or some shit. But.. you know.. Fez is a drug dealer, that man really doesn't make any sense sometimes.", she chuckled, as always.

"Yeah, right.. that was true tho." I looked down, ashamed, even tho I knew Rue couldn't care less.

"Wait.. are you fuckin with me? You wanna tell me that you're dating THE Nate Jacobs?"

"We're.. we're not dating. I mean, I know it sounds weird but... Please just keep it to yourself, okay? That guy is literally ruining my life and I really don't need more drama on top of it."

"Yeah, I mean, sure, no prob... But.. what are you two doing if you're not dating, yet you went to meet his parents? Are you two fucking and he took it the wrong way?" She smirked at me but I wasn't really having it.

"Rue. We're not dating and we sure ain't fuckin either. He manipulated me into talking to him and he probably wanted to piss me of even more, so he invited me over. That's it."

"R-r-r-riiight.." She squinted her eyes, trying to process what did I just said but I don't think she got it. As I was looking at Rue, I zoomed out for a bit and saw Nate standing few feets apart from us. I got goosebumps all over my body and a sudden feeling of anxiety started forming in my chest. But I was still hoping that he's completely done with me, for good, so I kept ignoring him. He's been stalking and harassing me for so long, that him not paying me any mind almost felt wrong. Was it really this easy all along? All I had to do was humiliate and embarrass him in front of someone important to him? 

After few classes, I decided to go to the school library. I never went there before and I've heard that besides textbooks, you can actually find pretty interesting books there. I asked Jules if she wants to go with me, but she had to go on a dinner with her dad, so I went alone. I really loved wandering around any kind of libraries or bookshops. It was some kind of safe space for me and I always found peace there. 

"Hello. Excuse me, is the library open today?"

"Yeah, of course, you can come in."

Wow. The silence there was almost eerie. I mean, it was a library, so I didn't really expect someone to be yelling and laughing, but I was probably the only one there. I was walking by each aisle and as I was passing through different sections, I grabbed some books from each and sat down at the very end of the library. It never felt so good to be finally alone. I picked Lolita from Nabokov. I actually red that one few years ago, but even tho I was pretty disgusted by the story, it somehow fascinated me at the same time. As I was sitting on the floor, leaning on one of the bookshelves, I started shivering. I only had a long sleeved shirt on, since I forgot my jacket today. I put the book down, wrapped my arms around my body and pulled my knees to my chest. As I looked down to pick up the book again, I saw a fast motion near one of the other bookshelves. I looked again just to make sure I really saw something or someone moving, but no one was near. I tried to ignore it and keep reading, even tho I felt kinda paranoid, but I quickly brushed it off. As I flipped through few other pages, the noise intensified. So I got up and decided to check it out myself. I left my backpack there and started walking down the aisles, until I came to the end. The last one was closed by bookshelves from both sides and at the very end, there was a big, heavy door, probably leading to storage room. But when I found out I was completely alone, I turned around and started walking back.