Catch Me If You Can

Chapter 16: It's Crazy What You'll Do For a Friend

I woke up with a sharp pain in my jaw and my head was still pounding. When he finally left yesterday, I wasn't able to do nothing besides crying myself to sleep. I really wanted to text Jules and Rue to come over, but I couldn't tell them what happened. This cycle of losing over him was eating me alive and for the first time, I started thinking that maybe it will never change. I've had all the things he said to me on replay and as I was going back and forth between them, I though to myself that maybe I should finally gave up and be with him. I ever tried to make up scenarios of us being in a full, functioning relationship, but as I started imagining it more and more, a strong, heavy wave of anxiety hit me like a train. I quickly ran to the bathroom and threw up. 

This was happening often while I was growing up - or more like every time I had to make a big decision or had something important coming up. But I never felt like this in terms of thinking about someone or some type of relationship. I was focusing so much on handling this by myself and having it under control, that I completely ignored how much it was affecting my already bad mental health. I got up, flushed the toilet and slowly got back to my room. My whole body was shaking, I've had tears in my eyes and I felt sick, but I didn't want to skip school. In fact, it was probably the only place where I was feeling somehow safe, even if he was around. Cuz I know he wouldn't do anything (too) bad in front of others. His ego and "social status" was too high for embarrassing himself like that. 

I stopped by Fez's to get my daily dose of RedBull, but I also wanted to talk to him and make it to school as late as possible, just so I don't have to talk to Nate. I wasn't really scared, even after what he did last night, I just wasn't feeling like having to deal with him today, even tho I knew he will always find some way to do so. 

"Hi Fez, how are you today?

"What's up Ver, I'm happy to see you. What can I get you today?"

"Large RedBull, bag of chips and something sweet, please." 

"There you go. It's gonna be 8.45."

"Thanks Fez. Have you seen Jules, by the way?"

As I finished the question, someone opened the door and came inside. 

"Hey.. Veronica, right?"

"Yeah." I felt a little awkward after he refused to help me the last time I asked McKay about Nate, so I was trying to leave as soon as possible.

"Thanks Fez, have a nice day. I'm probably gonna come over later."

"Wait, I'm coming with you... Thanks Fez, keep the change." He left the money on the counter and rushed outside to join me. 

"Do you need to talk about something or?" I asked him calmly, even tho I was pretty surprised he stopped me from leaving.

"No. I mean, yeah, sure, we can talk. I just thought I can drive you to school if you don't mind."

I actually wanted to walk to school alone, just to clear my head and calm down a bit, but there was something inside me telling me to join him and my curiosity won.

"Yeah.. that would be nice."

I hopped in the car and after about 10 minutes of silence, he finally spoke to me.

"So... you and Nate.. are you two a thing?"

"Uhm.. I don't know, not really. We just.. hang out sometimes, but nothing serious."

"Right.. I just thought I would ask, since I know you two spend a lot of time together, but Nate never really told me anything about you. He still seems pretty mad about the thing that happened at the party."

"You mean the bathroom thing?"

"Yeah. I thought you two talked things out and he was okay with that, but apparently..not."