Catch Me If You Can

Chapter 2: You Want To Be Seen

TW: Sexual assault, trauma, drugs

Today was my first day at East Highland High School. For most people, the first day at new school is pretty exciting, but I sure wasn't one of them. Ever since yesterday, I was filled with anxiety and panic and I didn't know how to cope with that. My parents tried their best to calm me down and prepare me for the "big day", but I wasn't really having it. They never had their own kids, but I wasn't bold enough to ask them why. They seemed really sweet, but for my tough European uprising, it felt like they were sometimes too naive. As I was dressing up for school and going through my things, I noticed a little white box full of purple pills. The last time I took a xanny was when I finally decided to tell my therapist about my experience with sexual assault. It was pretty funny, cuz I never really knew how to admit to her that something like this happened to me. I was mostly tip-toeing about my anxiety and panic attacks, but the main reason why I came in the first place was the trauma from that experience. But I didn't want to think about it anymore, so I put the box in my backpack, just in case I will need it and continued with getting ready. I didn't want to be extra, but at the same time, I kinda wanted to make a good first impression, so I went for my typical look. Black tennis skirt, knee-high socks, long-sleeved shirt and a leather jacket. I swear I never grew up from the dark Tumblr era, but I was kinda finally living it to the fullest, cuz Tumblr wasn't a big thing back then in my country. I put on some lipgloss (on top of the full beat, duh) and went to school. 

"This is it. The gracious American high school. Great. I'm fucked.", I said to myself as I was standing in front of the building, when I heard familiar voice.

"Hey! Hey, Veronica!"

There she was again. Rue looked little different in a daylight, but I was kinda relieved I'm seeing her again. 

"Hey! I'm so happy to see you there. I literally don't know anyone and Fez doesn't go to school no mo', so I really don't know how am I supposed to make friends in this big ass school."

"You want sum xannies?", she asked and smiled in the most goofiest way.

"Nah, I have my own, but thanks."

"Wait what? You're using too?" She looked me up and down, staring at my skirt and makeup, looking like I don't have any right to fuck up my memory with pills. 

"I mean.. I don't use it often, only when I'm anxious or have panic attack... But what do you mean "you too"? That was the thing at Fez about? He was selling you Xanax? That isn't that bad, is it?"

"I think.... I think it's too early in the morning for those types of conversations. But we can catch up later and I will tell you eeeeverything you need to know about this town. Deal?"

I agreed and we headed to the hall. It was pretty crowded and loud, but I tried to ignore everyone except Rue. When we got to the lockers a tall, blonde girl came by. 

"Jules, this is Veronica, Veronica, this is Jules."

"Hey Veronica! You have a pretty cool name." She nodded and smiled, while she was staring deep into my eyes. I froze for a minute but then I re-centered myself.

"T-thanks.."

"So... how long do you two know each other?", she looked at Rue and then back at me.

"I mean.. we met yesterday at Fez's, so we're basically still strangers. I came here just a few days ago, via Study Abroad program. I don't really know anyone, so I'm scared shitless, but.. yeah, I hope everything will go smooth."

After few conversations and jokes about my country, we went to class. My schedule was pretty random, so I was alone most of the time, but it wasn't as bad as I though it will be. No drama, no bullying or other cliché stuff you can usually see in those drama movies about American high school. The real pain in the ass was the length of those classes. I was fidgeting around the whole time and couldn't really focus, cuz of the damn anxiety. I didn't take the xanny, cuz I didn't want to be gone the whole time during the first day of school. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I quietly went to the bathroom. As I was walking down the empty wall, my heels were making a loud echo, which made me walk faster. I looked behind me out of paranoia, just like I always do when I'm alone and I saw a tall guy standing next to the lockers. At first I thought he was just casually getting his things, but he was just standing there with his arms crossed, leaning back onto his locker, smiling back at me. We made an eye contact but as soon as I noticed, I turned back and headed to the restroom.

As I was walking back to class, he was still standing there, in the same position as he was in 5 minutes ago. I tried to ignore him, cuz he somehow made me nervous, just like every tall guy with dark hair, serious expression and cold eyes. As I was passing him by, he spoke to me.

"Hey. You seem kinda lost."

I turned to him, trying to not look him in the eyes.

"Yeah.. I mean, no, I'm fine, I'm just new here and it kinda takes me a little longer to make it on time from one room to another... But you're the one standing in the hallway alone during class time. Are you sure you're not the lost one?"

I crossed my arms and looked at him like I own that place, but in reality, I was extremely anxious. He was about one and a half foot taller than me and he was standing little too close for someone who was a complete stranger to me. He made one step closer and leaned down to me.

"You're right. I might be the lost one here. Cuz I'm pretty sure it's kinda easy for people to find you, when you pitter-patter on those heals down the hallway. You shouldn't be making so much noise if you don't want to be noticed", he said with such a calm yet terrifying tone in his voice.

He smiled at me and I could feel his warm breath on my face. His glance moved little lower. He was staring at my skirt, as the thumb on his left hand gently touched my thigh. I looked up to him, but I couldn't find any words to actually come back at him. I was ready to speak when-

"You should go back to class. I'm pretty sure good girls like you can't afford to miss lectures. And I sure don't want to get you in a trouble.. yet." He said and then slowly walked away. 

I was still standing there for a moment, processing what the fuck actually happened.