Catch Me If You Can

Chapter 18: Let Me Down Slowly

Hey, I'm picking u up today, be ready at 6:30.

I woke up to a text from Nate. But as I was falling asleep yesterday, I wasn't thinking about him - I was thinking about McKay and the fact that I wasn't fully able to tell him about everything Nate did to me, was making me kinda mad in way. But I knew he couldn't be my savior and I sure didn't want to involve him in my personal problems with Nate. 

Why the fuck was he up so early? He knows I wake up about an hour earlier, just to be sure that I have enough time for looking my best, but he never texted me this early before. Wait... did someone told him McKay gave me a ride, so he wanted to make sure it won't happen again? Nah... there's no way. I'm just being paranoid again. I hated how crazy Nate made me feel most of the times. I knew he wasn't okay, but I would never thought that he will push me this far, that it will affect me this much. But the damage has already been done and I had to deal with it as best as I could.

Today, I went for a sweater, mini skirt and sneakers. I wasn't trying to do too much, cuz I knew how much Nate loves to comment on my appearance. As I walked out of the house, he was already there.

"Good morning, beautiful. Have you slept well?" He said as soon as I hopped in the car, with the biggest smile on his face. This wasn't good.

"Yeah, I feel better today." I looked down on my hands, while picking on my nails. I was so nervous, cuz I knew something was wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it. But wait.. I was the one who had a reason to be mad. Not him.

"Why have you decided to pick me up? Cuz if you don't wanna talk about what happened at your house, I don't wanna hear anything else." 

He turned to me, brushing the strand of my hair behind my ear, while softly holding my head. "We'll get to that, okay? Don't worry, babe."

I stayed quiet. I was so sick and tired of his bullshit, but I didn't want him to lash out and hurt me again. As I was replaying everything that happened in the past week, I remembered that he still didn't tell me why he wasn't at the practice yesterday. As I was trying to find a way how to bring it up without starting a fight, I noticed that he was driving to his house.

"Where are you going?"

"I forgot my gym clothes. Come with me." He turned off the engine and looked my way, waiting for me to open the door. 

"It's okay, I can wait for you in the car."

"I said come with me."

I looked him in the eyes one last time before getting out of the car. As I was slowly walking next to him, I was hoping that someone was home. But I was wrong. 

"Can I.. grab a glass of water from the kitchen?"

He looked back at me from the stairs and I smiled back, just to look as calm as possible.

"Yeah, sure. Come to my room after." 

I went to the kitchen, drank about 2 glasses of water and leaned over the counter. I didn't know what to expect from him anymore, but I knew that I can't let him see how scared I actually am. I looked down on the drawers, thinking about grabbing a knife, just in case something will go down between us. But I knew I wouldn't be able to stab him even if I wanted to, so I grabbed the glass and went upstairs. When I entered the room, he was already sitting on the bed, looking at me. I left the door slightly open and walked up to him. I knew he was in the best position to hurt me, alone, in his own house, with no one around to help me. 

"Why are we here? What do you want to do with me." I asked quietly, when he put his hands around my waist and my hands followed his lead by putting them around his neck. He thought I would be scared - and I really was - but I had to play differently now.

"You know what I want. And I made it clear several times. But it feels like you never listen." 

His calmness and soft tone in his voice was almost eerie. I never actually heard him speaking to me like this. Either he was loud, aggressive and dramatic, or he was extremely cocky and malicious. I thought I could read him pretty well, but in that moment, I was completely lost in his strategy. 

I sat on his lap, crossing my legs behind his back and left my arms hanging from his shoulders. I was dangerously close to him, but I risked it, cuz I knew making a scene would ruin the whole thing. Most of my plans "B" already failed and I didn't know what to do next, so I improvised. 

"I will listen from now on, I promise." I was staring into his eyes the whole time, just to make it seem more genuine, but I couldn't hold back the urge to cuss him out. "But you can't keep hurting me and forcing me to do things I don't wanna do. It's not gonna work like that. And I will run away if you keep doing stuff like that." I was talking to him like a child, but it only made him angrier. His breathing started to get heavier and I saw the hate and frustration coming from his eyes. This is the Nate I knew, not the fake ass bitch he tried to be every time he wanted something from me. 

"I'm gonna do whatever I wanna do and you are not gonna stop me." He grabbed me by my throat firmly and continued with his speech. "Who the fuck you think you are, talking to me like I don't know what are you trying to do?! I'm gonna tell you who you are. A dirty little whore who's trying to fuck my best friend just to make me angry. Yeah, that's exactly who you are. And guess what? That will never fuckin happen, cuz I won't let you humiliate me like that. I don't know what kind of fuckery are you trying to fool McKay with, but I promise you that I have no problem with fucking him up too. Do you really wanna put your new friend in danger like that? Yeah, just how I thought."

I was gripping onto his shirt, just to loosen up the tension in my body from him choking me again. I looked at that glass of water I put on his nightstand, but then I realized it was too far for me to get it. I knew he would be able to kill me if he wanted, but there was no other way for him to let me go. I put both of my hands around his neck and pushed the nails on my thumbs into his throat, while scratching his face with the rest of my fingers. He hissed loudly and as he let go of me for a moment, I reached out for the glass. I was so close to grabbing it, when he pulled me back by my legs and laid his body on top of mine.

"You promised me! You just promised me you're gonna behave and now you're doing this shit again! How am I supposed to trust you when you can't keep up with your words?! You're the one getting yourself into all this trouble! You're the one hurting yourself! I gave you so many chances to do better, act how you're supposed to act, but you always have to ruin it!" 

He was screaming like a lunatic. The words were just rolling out of his mouth and it felt like he was louder and louder with every word. His eyes were wide open and the veins on his neck were slowly running up his red face. He completely lost it. "If you're not capable of showing me that you're able to behave, after all the lessons I've tried to teach you, I have no other choice but to ruin your fuckin life."

As he moved up for a split second and looked down to unzip his pants, I finally grabbed the glass and smashed it on his head. Pieces of glass flew in the air, making shatters quickly fall down and cover the whole bed. I ran out of his room as fast as possible, when I realized I left my bag in the kitchen. I quickly grabbed it but when I made it to the door, I found out it was locked.

"I'm always few steps ahead of you, remember that."