FRAGILE GIRL || THE HUNGER GAMES ¹

2.

"MY FRIENDS CALL ME FINN.."

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Lowering my eyes onto the paper, the words were a mubble of ink and meaningless. It wasn't me⎯those words. It was the 'Marvelous' Athena Grey. The girl who laughed at Cesar's jokes. Who liked everything and anything Capitol. She was speaking. That wasn't me speaking. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I plaster on a forced smile, preparing for the last of my speech. The part where I thank everyone.

"Once again, I couldn't have been more grateful for President Snow and the Capitol. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have been able to come home to District Ten." I read off, "Thank you, President Snow. Thank you to everyone in the Capitol. I am forever in your debt. Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever."

Feeling my hands begin to shake, I tuck them behind my back, plastering on a fake smile. I couldn't show my fear. I have to be strong. Seeing the camera's lights flash, I nod my head in fake happiness as music begins to play, the same old Capitol music I would hear in interviews. Feeling the shaking worsen in my hands, a loud bang fills the air making my chest tighten at the sound, a cannon.

No. No. No. It's okay. It's not a cannon. You're safe. I'm safe. Digging my nails in the palm of my hand, the pain keeps me grounded in the moment. I was safe. I was home. I just needed to wait until the camera's were cut. It's okay. It's not a cannon. I'm safe. I'm safe. Focusing on keeping my breathing steady, I try to push everything down, just like Klaus said to.

"Athena? Athena!" A familiar voice shouts, making my breath hitch. "BABY! IT'S MAMA!"

"Mama?" I whisper, the words falling before I could stop them.

My mind goes blank, forgetting everything that I was supposed to do. Scanning the buzzing crowd for her, I wanted nothing more than to find her, I wanted my Mama. I wanted my Mama back. Standing in the third row, hair a mess of uncombed curls and dress wrinkled, was her. It was her. She was here. Letting the tears I so desperately wanted to keep at bay go, I leap off the stage for her. Fuck Celia's scolding. I want my Mama.

Sprinting towards her, I jump into her arms, wrapping my arms and legs around her. I won't let her go. I won't let her go. Never again. They'll have to pry my cold dead hands off of her. Burrowing my head into her shoulder, I let out a small sob as she petted my head, I missed her so much. These weeks away had been hell. Placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, I grip onto her collar, the smell of warm vanilla filling my senses. I missed her. I missed her so much.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mama. Don't hate me. Please don't hate me." I sob out, "I didn't want to. I didn't want to. I didn't want to do it."

"It's okay. It's okay. You did what you had to, baby." She whispers, smoothing out my hair.

"I didn't want to kill him, Mama. He was my friend. He was my friend. I trusted him." I sob.

"I know." She repeats, petting my hair. "I know, baby."

"Please don't hate me. I didn't want to do it. I pretend in those interviews. I lied, Mama." I whisper, making sure no one less than her would hear me.

She had to believe me. I hope that she believes me. When I say that I didn't like it. I didn't like rewatching what I had done. I didn't like pretending that I took pride in what I did. I didn't like pretending to be smug about being the only one who survived. It was all for show. I was playing a character, just like Klaus and Pixie told me to. Looking at her face for an answer, she's silent, a sad look on her face before she nods solemnly.

"I don't⎯I could never." She shakes her head, "Just answer this question for me. Did you like killing them?"

"No. No. No. I⎯I hated it. I hate myself for doing it. Please believe me." I hiccup.

"I do. I do. I believe you didn't like it. You're not like those other kids in the Games before. You didn't enjoy it." She explains, "You did it because you had to survive. And that means pretending so that you could surive. You're not like them."

Hearing the music dim down into silence, I expected to hear the clicking of camera's stopped, but it was quiet. Well, quieter than before. Fear fills me. Klaus warned me about stepping out of line. Had I made a mistake? Was I going to be punished? Lifting my head up just a smidge, I found that the camera crew was beginning to pack up.

Their cameras being put into crates and labeled boxes. The flashy spotlights being shut off and taken down. The ceremony was done. I was free. The camera's were gone. It was over. It was finally over. Gripping tightly onto her collar, I bring my head back down, shutting my eyes tightly. The games are gone, what comes next?

"It was horrible, Mama. They made me smile and pretend that I liked it." I croak, "I didn't like it. They were kids, Mama. They were like me."

"I know, baby. It's gonna be okay. Mama's here. Your home, now." She soothes.

"They were my age, Mama." I whisper, "They were just like me."

"I know, baby. I know, baby." She whispers back.

Petting my hair with a shaky hand, my own hands don't stop trembling, no matter how hard I try to get them to stop. I killed. I killed innocent kids. Who had families. Mom's and Dad's. Siblings. Friends. Maybe even lovers. I killed them, so that I could go home to my Mama. I got home, I was lucky. But now I have to be haunted by the fact that I was the only one out of twenty-four to walk out of that Arena.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. I wish that it never happened in the first place. I wish that I never had to kill them in the first place. I wish that the games weren't a thing. I wish that none of this happened. Biting my lip to keep the sobs in my throat, she pulls away from the tight embrace, creating a far enough distance that I could see her full face. A wobby smile forms on her face.

"Let's go home. Let's go home, Athena." She whispers, pulling away.

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And I am done with the chapter! Stay safe out there guys!

I hope you all are doing okay emotionally and physically! I love you all!

I hope that you are enjoying the book so far! A quick reminder to comment below about the story of what you think so far!

Me watching you all cry over DANGEROUS WOMAN : ✨sensational✨

Also me when re-reading the ending that I wrote as the Author : Now that's a lot of damage..

YEAH..LOL! BUT ANYWAY LOVE YA'LL!