The Act

The visit (part 2)

Sage's POV

Nervous.

If I had to pick one word out of the many feelings I felt at the moment it would be nervous.

Theres this front i've put on— for myself and for the people around me that i've got this all figured out. When in all honesty i've never dreaded anything the way i've dreaded this.

I have no idea what my mama's going to say. I have no idea how i'm going to deal with seeing her this way. I have no idea how Xan's going to react. I have no idea at all.

All I know is that i'm feel very disorientated and its unlike me.

Staring out the window I cant help the intense feeling of melancholy seeping into me. The fondness of this town striped from my memory. All the good memories gone.

Everything is recognizable but none of it makes me happy like it used to.

It's hard to come back—-back to one of the hardest places I've been.

Being here opens the door, to put me back in that dark place I worked so hard to get out of. I don't want to take that risk. I wish they understood that.

I wish mama understood that i'm not purposely avoiding her.

I'm simply just avoiding my problems. Avoiding the thoughts. Avoiding the feelings that come with being here

So many things drove me from here.

I hate that i'm back.

I wish they understood that.

"Are you alright amoré?" Xan suddenly questions concerned.

Shit. I didn't mean for how I felt to be all over my face.

"I'm fine just thinking."

"Thinking or overthinking?"

Got me there.

"Both?"

He sighs tapping the back of the divisor making the driver pull it up on command. He then snakes his hands underneath my thighs sliding me onto his lap until I was straddling him. I feel him place a soft kiss on my forehead before placing it in the crook of my neck.

"You know I'm not the best with words, so I was hoping that showing you was enou-

I kiss him cutting his sentence off.

I love him so much.

"Showing me is enough, thank you baby."

"You don't have to thank me. Besides you got this. I'll be there the entire time." He said placing a delicate kiss on my lips. I return it feeling a smile on grow onto my face involuntary.

The car then rides over a speed bump forcing me to bounce on Xan's lap making a string of apologies fly from my mouth instantly.

"Oh my God i'm so so sorry I didn't mean to."

Yet to my surprise he just burries his head farther into the side of my neck letting out a very shaky breath.