Bodel
I pulled the string that held my top together, letting it fall open, exposing my bare chest. I was expecting Bear back at his tent at this hour, so I sat on his bed and waited. If I was going to make an impression, it had to be bold. I needed to be on his mind, constantly. I needed to make an impression that would last so I sat and waited, chest bare and heart exposed. The cool air licked at my skin.
It was only a few seconds before I heard voices. Bear's and someone else's. They quickened toward his tent. I hastily pulled my top back together. lombungr. I wasn't expecting that he would be with someone. The voices rapidly came closer until they were at the entrance.
"Come in, I will show you what I wrote about Sugarland." Bear's voice was excited like a child. Like he was talking to... a child. He emerged backward, still speaking with his guest, until he turned around and saw me. And so did Malickai - a boy from our village. They both took one quick look at me, and Malickai burst out laughing. It was obvious, even though I was holding my top shut, what I was there for. The bottom half of my skin was still exposed, my stomach peaking through. The wind touched my skin again, reminding me how wrong this was.
Malikai turned to Bear, "It seems you have company." A snicker laced between his words and I knew it was going to be the gossip of our small community by tomorrow. "You can show me that journal another time." He turned to leave, whispering, "Wait until the boys hear about this." The words were obviously meant for Bear but floated back to me, sending me into a spiral of even more shame and embarrassment. Bear gawked at me, his mouth falling slightly and then shutting again.
"Bodel...", "I wasn't expecting you." Was all he said.
The lack of emotion in his voice confirmed my fears. Tears erupted from their hidden place, pushed down where no one could see them. I pulled my garments together tightly and sat on his bed. I let my head fall to my knees and I sobbed in defeat. This was beyond embarrassing. He would never want me now. Surely he thought I was the most foolish girl to ever think I could seduce him and get him to love me.
I tried to speak confidently, but my sobs were holding me back. "I...You...must... think...I am so... foolish." I said between sobs. There was a long pause, and every second that went by with no words, pushed me further down into a shame spiral. I stood to leave his tent and run as far away as I could to hide in my shame, when he grabbed my hand, pulling me back down. Caught off guard by this sudden change in mood, it took me a few seconds to get on the same page; I locked eyes with him. "Actually the opposite." He said as he pulled me back down to his bed. We sat there, facing each other, hand in hand for a long moment before he took my other hand - the only thing clasping my garment together, allowing it to fall free, exposing my chest once again. I gasped - not knowing this feeling over being bare and so close to someone else. I watched him watch me - his eyes trailing along my exposed skin; hungry for my flesh. At least, I assume that's what his gaze meant. I wasn't too experienced in the nature of gazes. I wanted him to want me, so I was open to his desire for me, even if it made my stomach do foreign flips as his hand reached out to brush against my skin. He stopped short below my breasts and trailed his hand up to my hair instead. His fingers left a trail of butterflies as they moved up my body. His dusty eyes stopped at mine, shooting feelings through my body that I didn't know existed. "You are so beautiful, Bodel." He breathed, his lips moving closer to brush against my own. I closed my eyes in a dizzy haze of desire, embarrassment, and other feelings I didn't know existed, as I savored his words. Words that had never been spoken in relation to me, before.
I left that tent, a woman. I wasn't sure how or why - if it was just the act itself, or the fact that someone had taken interest in me, but I was changed. My father saw me emerge first, and hastily made his way toward me, his tone hushed. Not sure if he was going to scold me or be thrilled that Bear had finally taken an interest in me, I turned my face away. He pulled it back with sturdy fingers around my chin, revealing crimson cheeks. He let out a sigh of what sounded like relief, "Well done child. He will marry you now."
"How can you be sure?" I really looked at him now, hair a mess and clothes looking like they had been slept in. I pulled my top tighter as I heard people talking.
My father followed my gaze, "Don't worry about them, child. They won't be laughing when you are their queen," "And don't you worry about him... If he even hesitates on the idea of making you his queen, I will see to it that his reign ends."
"How?" Sometimes I thought my father thought he had more power than he actually did.
"Don't worry, child. Just keep doing what you're doing. Make him fall in love with you, and I will take care of the rest."
I watched my father walk off, hoping he was right and this wasn't going to end up with me being rejected and becoming the unkept woman of the town. I could see it now "Bodel, the girl that Bear slept with as a joke." "Bodel, that ugly girl. She actually thought she could get someone like Bear... our future ruler." I hung my head in shame.
