Sidemen Shots

When I Was Your Man ~ Minishaw

- Referenced alcoholism, mentioned recovery.

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Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

The bed is still the same one, yeah, but it feels so different now, unpleasant whereas in the past it was quite the opposite, honestly.

Simon remembers, vividly, the nights he had shared with Harry, cuddled close under the covers on this very bed.

Harry never had any qualms on getting up and personal with Simon, no idea of boundaries, no definition of personal space.

Simon found he didn't quite mind it, in the end. He could, however, only handle such a breach of his comfort when it was Harry doing the comfort breaching.

Harry had grown on him like that - as he did on everyone.

Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same

Like a lot of couples out there, Harry and Simon used to have 'a song'.

The song was some upbeat, funky rhythm with over the top, crazy lyrics to match.

Simon listens to a wide variety of different genres, likes a lot of songs - they don't all match one style.

'Their song' may not have fit into any of Simon's favourite music genres, but it made him smile, as did Harry when he would sing along to it, bopping his head with his lip between his teeth, his body uncontrollable.

That had always been amusing, to Simon. It also made him oddly happy, each and every time.

The amount of car rides they took together, with Simon in the driver's seat and Harry in the passenger's side, where they made sure to play their song, at least once, was incalculable.

There was this cute little jig Harry used to do in time with the music, developed over time and perfect for such a sitting position.

Now, though, the song doesn't really sound the same to Simon, doesn't sound so right anymore.

It no longer gives him the same fluttery feeling in his stomach, the same joyful memories of Harry.

Like, sure, the memories are still fond ones, but now they are filled with so much pain and longing that it is just not worth it, at this point in time.

When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down

There is a reason why you're not supposed to fall in love with a close friend.

It's an important rule, one that leads to minimal heartbreak for everyone involved when followed through with.

Simon and Harry just had to go and break the rule, apparently. Had to be unique, had to be the special ones.

They fancied themselves an extraordinary pair, for some arrogant reason.

They had acted like they were different to the others out there just like them, who hadn't worked out so well with their partner.

They had gone ahead with their relationship, despite knowing the risks. (Sometimes, Simon thought maybe they had done so especially because of the risks. Did it for the thrill, and all that.)

But now, their once close-knit friendship group felt strained and fragile. To everyone in it.

Though some of them are able to see the spreading cracks better than some of the others can.

Simon hasn't spent any time, properly, with Harry since their breakup.

They still hang out in a group, still act like friends - because they are, genuinely, but that's where the problem lies.