Sidemen Shots

Odd One Out (JJ focus)

The funny thing - the selfish thing, some would argue - about JJ is that he quite often doesn't realise he wants something until he sees that someone else has it.

When he last had a therapist a few years ago, they had suggested that the issue stemmed from growing up with a little brother. Every Christmas, JJ would open his present from his parents, be fairly chuffed with it, and then look over to find his brother Deji tearing through the wrapping paper encasing his own gift. He would always kind of think that he would be happier if he had been given the toy Deji had. (The peculiar thing about it all, though, is that Deji's presents were never objectively better than his own. He just wanted them because they hadn't been gifted to him.)

In primary school, that same bratty desire manifested through his need for friends, taking on a much more complex and darker sentiment. It continued like this on through to secondary school, at which point he spent years agonising over not quite knowing if Simon Minter was his best friend, or even his friend at all. Simon always seemed to be closer with someone else. It wasn't until their sleepover at JJ's house in year eleven that Simon confessed to viewing them as best friends. From that point on, JJ didn't burn with envy whenever Simon spoke to another lad like he'd known him since nursery. Simon was his: his friend, his confidante. That was all that mattered to him.

When Simon got his first girlfriend just before they sat their GCSE exams, JJ had been consumed with jealousy. The girl should have been his. (Not quite.) Why didn't he have a girlfriend yet? (Closer.) He didn't deserve to be alone. (And Simon did?)

So, JJ came to the conclusion a couple years ago that he is wired with an egocentric view of life. What good is something if he doesn't have it? Nothing is of value to him until he has tried it for himself, not even people. (He still has not forgiven the few YouTubers who felt they had the worth, the right, to replace him back in 2018. JJ may have been toying with the idea of leaving the Sidemen and focusing more on America, both in terms of audience and experiences, but that did not mean his spot was up for the taking if he 'left it open' by leaving the group.)

"Mhm, I don't think so," JJ hears from beside him, his consciousness drawn in by the familiarity of Tobi's voice. He turns to look at his friend, surprised to find him leaning up against the wall in a position that mirrors Harry's. "We probably won't have time between picking your family up from the airport and picking up that vase for my mom."

JJ hears Harry's response, momentarily confused by the flirty edge to the younger man's voice. "What if we asked Manny to pick up the vase instead, huh? He can do that on the way to your parents' on Monday, and we can just go down a day later when we collect my family. I think that's a good idea! Don't you?"

As Harry speaks, JJ notices him begin playing with the XIX charm on the chain around Tobi's neck. He fidgets with it, his posture relaxed as he leans his body against the studio wall with all the comfort in the world.

"And what do we need that extra day for, hm?" Tobi sounds audibly smug as he teases, his own hand coming up to wrap around Harry's over his chain. Neither man lets go or makes any indication to move their hand away from the other's. "You got something particular in mind?"

"Not really, no." That's a definite yes, even JJ can tell that much. "I'm sure we could find something to do, though."

"That something wouldn't happen to be each other, would it?"

Is Tobi really implying...?

"Maaayyybbeee."

Tobi laughs, then, unashamed and genuine. His eyes are alight with joy, his blinding white teeth visible in a wide grin. JJ unintentionally analyses the expression, not meaning to criticise, just unsure of how he should be feeling right now. Despite having been unmoving all the while, he freezes when Tobi coincidentally looks his way and the two of them accidentally make eye contact. Shit. What should he do?