One Maniac at a Time

Let me in

Tara's POV

I awoke back in my room with restraints on, I had a pounding headache, I heard voice above me and decided to pretend to sleep.

"Mr. Wentz, I understand you are unhappy about the sedation, but you don't understand how severe the lengths of her illnesses are." Dr. Gillings said.

"She still hasn't woken up, I don't give a shit about how severe it is." My dad said, he was here. He had come.

"I don't know why, it could be that her body is exhausted from her insomnia and she is recovering strength. But you need to understand these hallucinations are very severe." He said. I still don't know how I'm having hallucinations, he said Ethan wasn't real, but he is, I know he is.

"She is a person, you can't make her go to sleep every time she sees whatever she sees." My Dad argued.

"Mr. Wentz, I do not know how to help you, we cannot release her until we get these under control." Dr. Gillings said. I felt my heart start racing. I couldn't breathe very well. Someone took my hand.

"Oh Big Bird." He said. That was my Dad, but I could barely breathe which is still a problem, I started to move, to try and find some air.

"What's happening?" My dad asked aggressively.

"She can't breathe." Dr. Gillings said.

"We have to wake her up!" My Dad replied.

"I am trying." he snapped.

"come on Tara, wake up, wake up!" Dr. Gillings said. I could hardly breathe. I opened my eyes struggling, my heart was racing, I was shaking. I saw the blonde nurse in the corner. I reached out to her for help. She came forward and took my hand.

"Calm the fuck down, you're panicking which is why you can't breathe." She replied. I finally did. I started shaking and was cold. Next thing I knew I was sobbing and couldn't figure out why. My Dad looked scared, Dr. Gillings looked worried and I noticed Oli wasn't there. I couldn't stop shaking.

"Let's take these off, eh?" Dr. Gillings asked, gesturing to my restraints. I nodded. He took them off. I continued to shake and cry.

"big bird?" My Dad asked softly. I didn't respond.

"Tara can you hear me?" Dr. Gillings asked. I nodded.
"Do you know where you are?" He asked. I nodded again.
"Do you know my name?" He asked. I nodded. I didn't look at my dad, I couldn't bring myself to.

"Hey Big Bird, how about we go for a walk?" My Dad suggested as he knelt by my side. I just stood up and balanced myself out, I was wearing baggy hospital pants that barely fit and a loose hanging white shirt. We walked out of the room and down the hallway.

"Where is Mike?" I asked quietly.

"He isn't coming to visit you today I guess." He replied.

"How is Bronx?" I asked.

"He is good, he misses you a lot though, he want you to come back home." He said. I nodded.

"I wanna come home too." I replied. He looked down.

"Tara, why couldn't you have told me?" He asked. I looked up at him.

"I couldn't." I told him.

"please, your my baby girl, I miss you, I need you back here." He said pulling me into a hug.

"Then let me see Mike and Vic and Jaime and Tony, please?" I whispered.

"Okay." He said. I nodded. We talked for the rest of the time about stupid little things, like what Patrick would look like with black hair. It was fun, it was just two of us. That's when I realized Ethan wasn't there. I looked everywhere, but he was gone. I didn't know how to feel about it, but he just wasn't there. I felt weird not having him there.