One Maniac at a Time

For Pete's sake

Patrick's POV 

I can't believe it.  Why Pete?  Why would you try to kill yourself?  You could've talked to me.  Talked to any of us really.  I can't believe it.  I just hope he makes it.  I need him.  The guys need him.  Tara needs him.  Oh god Tara.  She had no clue what was happening.

"Where are we going?" She asked happily.

"The hospital." Andy told her.

"Why is Daddy in the hospital?  Is he sick?" she asked now worried.  I gave Joe a look.  He nodded.

"Sort of, but he'll be okay." Joe said.  She was confused.  

"But why?" She persisted.

"We don't know." Joe said.  She curled up into his arm.  I just kept driving.  We finally made it to the hosptial.  I rushed in with everyone close in tow.  I saw Pete's mom Dale and our manager, Bob there.  

"How is he?" I asked.

"We don't know." Bob said.  Dale burst into tears.

"What's wrong with daddy?" Tara asked.  Dale just pulled her into a big hug.  Tara started having a meltdown.  Dale tried to comfort her, but she pushed her away.

"TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DADA!" She screamed hitting my legs with her tired firsts.  For a while she wailed and pounded.  I stroked her but it wouldn't do much.  I couldn't tell her the truth.  It was horrible.  Nurses and other people stared at her with sympathy.  I just wanted someone to say we could go see Pete, Tara needed him now more than ever.  I couldn't tell his kid that he had tried to kill himself.  I just couldn't do that, ever.  Andy went to go get coffee, Joe went with him.  I sat, feeling so empty.  I just couldn't feel, I needed to know what was happening.  Tara now was curled into me sobbing with what energy she had left.  Joe and Andy came back, they got her a hot chocolate.  Tara drank the whole thing.  I gladly accepted the coffee.  I was so sick of waiting.  Finally, after what felt like a millenia a doctor appeared.  We all stood.  Tara clung to me.

"He's going to be okay.  But he definately needs help, counciling, antidepressants, and a week or two away from everything." The doctor said.

"Are you suggesting that we lock my son up in a nut house?" Dale asked.

"No, maybe he could even go stay with you.  That might be for the best." The doctor said.

"What happened to him?" Tara asked.  the doctor looked down.  He loked at me, I shook my head slightly, he nodded.

"He's just a little sick and his medicine made him sicker so we just have to help him." The doctor said.

"Can we go see him?" I asked.  He nodded.  I led Tara into his room.  It was just the two of us because we didn't want to overwhelm him when he woke up. He looked awful. All pale and sickly, tubes were sticking out of him and he had a cannula.  His eyes were closed peacefully.  Tara looked confused.

"Dada?  Wake up please?" She asked.  It broke my heart.

"The doctor said he'll wake up soon, just be patient." I said, she nodded.  I looked at her, and then at Pete.  He looked goddamn horrible. This wasn't fair, he didn't deserve this.  Not the depression, or anxiety or any of it!  I looked at the time, 2:30 am.  Tara was asleep in the chair.  she looked so peaceful and I didn't want to disturb her.  A nurse came in and checked his vitals.  

"Hey buddy, it's Pattycakes here.  I miss you please open your eyes.  We need you here on Earth.  Oh God Pete, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.  I should have noticed, I should have done something, anything.  I can't believe I did this to you.  It's all my fault.  I am supposed to be your best friend.  I am here, and scared, I'm alone and I don't know who else to tell.  I can't do this on my own.  I don't want Tara to loose you.  I don't want you to loose her.  I know how much you love her.  She needs you.  I need you.  Please wake up, please talk to me and hug me, and tell me how chubby I am.  Please." Tears were now freely flowing from my eyes.  I could feel the pain in my throat.