One Maniac at a Time

Hallway, hellway

Tara's POV

In everyone's eyes, I was healed, all perfect once more.  I went to school, therapy ate all of it, human activities.  All the love and support was just making things harder.  Everynight I looked at the bottle of pills I kept hidden under my pillow, I just needed a date.  I look in the mirror, my eyes showed nothing. I felt nothing.  I pulled on my black doc martins.  My hair was in a messy topnot, I loved it. It was raining. Breakfast was silent, so was the ride to school.  I entered the hallways.  My friends had stopped talking to me.  I was utterly alone.  At least they wouldn't get hurt.

~slight trigger warning~

"Hey look the cutter showed her face."

"Daddy isn't here to save you now."

"Aw, is she crying, pathetic."

"Whore"

"slut"

"Worthless."

"when are you going to just end it all?"(trigger warning end) kids yelled.  I knew when, tonight.  I would finish my classes and go home to finish the job.  I had to.  As the day dragged on things got worse.  I couldn't open my locker due to the hate mail plastered to it.  Lunch was the usual torture.  I was just done.  Home, I needed to get home.  My dad couldn't pick me up, I had to walk home.  Paparazzi swarmed.  I ignored them and kept pressing forward.  I got home, no one was there.  I wrote the note. I felt bad, but I knew I had to.  My dad probably wouldn't be home for another hour or so.  

~trigger warning~

I grabbed the bottle of pills.  I swallowed every last one.  I took my blade and made a few deepish cuts.  the world was becoming fuzzy, I felt darkness creeping up, and then I heard the front door open, and blackness.

Pete's POV

When I got home I noticed a note from Tara, I read it.

Dada,

I'm sorry.  I can't explain to you how much this hurts but it does.  I need to leave this world.  It has been cruel to me.  I can't take this pain.  It is not your fault and will never be your fault.  

Love,

Tara (big bird)

I ran up to her room while calling an ambulance.  She was passed out, her wrists still spouting blood.  she had an empty pill box in her hands.  I heard Patrick come in.  He heard me screaming from above.  I couldn't process, not Tara, NOT TARA! She is all I want, she is why I lived.  I need her, my baby girl.  I felt hands around me, it was all distant, the bleeding would stop, hands in gloves lifted her onto the stretcher.  I got into the ambulance.  

"She's dropping, we gotta get there fast." One EMT said.  I couldn't breathe, the panic was rising.  My heart was breaking.  Everything hurt so badly.  So much.  Why did she try to leave?  I love her, her friends love her.  They opened the doors and just like that my baby was taken from me, just like her mother, just not dead yet.  The words stung, she could be dead.  I fell to my knees literally.  I think a nurse said something to me.  Everything was blurry, everything hurt.  I couldn't breathe.  Patrick was there, so were Joe and Andy, they were screaming something at me.  I couldn't hear.  I couldn't...blackness.

Joe's POV

Patrick called and told us what Tara had done.  Andy grabbed the keys and we rushed to the ER as fast as possible.  I saw Pete collapse into the floor.  He was flailing, his chest was tense moving drastically, nurses were worried.  Patrick was speaking to him, trying to get him to calm down.  He then blacked out. The Doctors were insisting on admitting him.  He hadn't had a panic attack this badly since 2005...

"Shit, what do we?" I asked.  I couldn't take this, we didn't even know if Tara was going to make it.  They were trying to get all the drugs out of her system and she had hit her veins very deeply.  It was bad, she hadn't even come out of the OR.  We were sitting at Pete's bedside, he hadn't woken up.  I was barely holding back tears.

"I don't know, I just don't.  It's too much.  I don't know where to start.  I want to help Pete, but we can't and Tara, we need to hold her closer than ever, we will protect her at all costs.  I just, wish I could've done something." Patrick said at last.

"We still can, you know recovery is hard.  It isn't going to be easy, but we can help her." Andy said.  Pete moaned from the bed.  We all went over.  His eyes lazily opened.

"Where am I?  I had the most awful dream, Tara, had tried to kill herself it was horrible." He said.  We all looked to each other.

"Pete, you're in the hospital, and I'm sorry, that wasn't a dream, we don't know what's going to happen to Tara, but we're going to get her through this." Andy spoke gently.  Pete's tears were flowing heavily.  It hurt to see.  

"Do they know if she'll be okay?" he asked, as if on cue a nurse stepped in to check on Pete.

"Where is my daughter?" He asked, his heart monitor started to beep more viscously.

"Sir, calm down, we aren't sure yet, please you will have another attack." The nurse pleaded, Pete's heart was accelerating, the nurse finally had to knock him out.

"I'm sorry, we really aren't sure yet." She said.  We just sat in painful silence.

Tara's POV

I felt light, heaven?  No I should be in hell I think.

"Hello" A beautiful woman said, she looked like a me a bit.

"Hi, am I in heaven or hell?  And who are you, I'm Tara." I said.  She laughed.

"You aren't dead yet.  and I'm your mom." She said.  My eyes widened, this is what my mom had looked like?  She was beautiful.  

"Where am I?" I asked.  I really wanted to be done with half living or whatever.

"In between, there are things keeping you on earth.  I won't let you die.  You deserve life, it can be beautiful." she said.

"What is keeping me?" I asked.  she opened up a window out of nowhere, I saw Sophie, sitting on the edge of a bathtub, blades on her wrist.   Lily, throwing up her dinner.  Molly crying and calling herself a dyke. I looked tears in my eyes.  Then she showed me dad and the guys, dad was unconscious, probably a panic attack.  But then a thought hit me.

"But you died because of me." I pointed out to my mom.

"No, I didn't I was at piece my body knew it's time was up, I saw you though, you were beautfiul.  If you get past this you will do amazing things, you just have to keep fighting." She said.  I looked at her.

"Did he see you?" I asked.

"Pete, yeah, we talked about you.  I will never forget how excited he was when I told him, we weren't married and young, before Fall Out Boy had formed.  I am glad, I wouldn't change a thing, getting pregnant or anything.  It's all worth it, you have great things a head of you.  Now you need to wake up." She said, things were becoming soft and fuzzy.

"I think I am." I slurred, why was I slurring.  

"No!  Stop, keep fighting, you aren't waking up! you're flat lining, come on baby!" She screamed.  I felt a pull on my chest.

Pete's POV

I sat by her bedside, I wonder if she's with Erica.  Like I was.  She'll show her to stay.  I look around, everyone looks a little less dead than Tara, but still pretty dead on their feet.  We had been through way too much coffee, but we weren't resting until she  woke up.  I looked over, she was moving a bit.

"guys!  I think she's waking up!" I called everyone rushed over, but the monitor started beeping more visciously.  

Doctors rushed in, the line was flatening.  

"Clear!" I heard...

A/N

Enough action for you guys?  I hope so, I knida cried while writing this.  I am sorry for the break in updates but I hope you enjoyed this.  also THANKYOU FOR THE VOTES AND READS I LOVE YOU GUYS!  Comment your thought and requests.  Also music video yes or no?