Healing Me ✔️

8

By the time both of them had parted their ways, and came back home, it started to snow. 

Yunhee’s mom had noticed the gloominess on her face right from the moment she came back. As if she was on the edge and a small push will make her bawl her eyes out. 

Her mom was always ready to be a shoulder to her. She slowly opened the door to her daughter’s room.

“Yunhee-ya”, she called her daughter with a mild voice, the daughter who was blankly looking at the window of her room. 

“It’s snowing!”, her mom said as she came closer and put a hand on her shoulder, while she sat by Yunhee’s side on the bed. 

Yunhee hummed in response. 

“Weren’t you with Junhui earlier?” her mom asked. 

Yunhee jerked on her seat at the sudden question. She faced her mom, looking feeble and nodded “yes”. 

“What happened? Did you fight with him? What’s hurting you like this?” her mom asked again.

Yunhee looked at her mom very closely. “How do you know mom?” 

Her mom put her hand on Yunhee’s hair and slowly caressed it. “Mom knows everything. For the last two months or so, everything I heard from your mouth was Jun. Maybe you did it unknowingly but I have passed that age too! I know what it is” she smiled brightly. “What happened dear?” 

Yunhee looked at her mom with large eyes. She sat up in front of her with her legs crossed. “Mom”, she breathed out, “why do you think I used to talk about him all day?” 

Her mom chuckled softly at the question. “Maybe because he is very close. He listens to all your thoughts and takes care of you. Maybe because you enjoyed talking to him or spending time with him. Maybe because…” her mom trailed off to find the answer in Yunhee’s eyes. 

“Maybe because?”Yunhee repeated.

“Maybe because you liked him. Why? Do you not understand your heart?”, her mom smiled and touched her cheeks with her warm hands. 

Suddenly, Yunhee went blank. All the events throughout the last two months came like a flash in front of her eyes. Her mom’s words registered in her brain and she felt weak. The time her tears rolled out of her eyes, she went to hug her mom tightly. 

“Mom”, she sniffled, “I did a bad thing. And was almost there to do another bad thing”, she cried finally. 

“It’s alright. What did you do? What happened, Yunhee-ya?” her mom asked, her voice still soft. 

“I broke his heart, mom”, she bawled her eyes out in her mom’s embrace. 

“Why? Wasn't he genuine with his feelings?”, her mom pulled her off and made her face her. She was crying. 

“He was. But what if he leaves like dad? What if I end up crying like you did when I was young? You used to hide yourself in your room and cry all night when you missed him. I saw it all. What if he changes?” 

Yunhee’s mom felt her own eyes sting. “Yunhee, your dad and Junhui are two different people. How can you come to a conclusion like this?” she said.

“I can’t just forget those times when you dealt with it alone. It’s so vivid, mom!” Yunhee said, looking down at her feet. 

“You know what, we remember two kinds of memories the most – the extremely bad ones and the extremely good ones. And we cherish both, whereas we unconsciously forget the average ones. You can’t forget those bad times your father caused us, right? I agree. But you also can’t forget the beautiful time you spent with Jun. Can you?” 

Yunhee gathered some courage to ask her mom, "do you know where dad is now?" 

Her mom looked at the window. "I don't really know. And honestly, I don't want to know either. Maybe he has another family now. I really didn't keep in touch", she said to her daughter. 

Yunhee looked at her mother with surprise, "if he has another family; like, he loved another woman and another child now, are you totally okay with that? It doesn't hurt you?" 

Her mom laughed lightly. "Change is a very normal thing in a human's mind, Yunhee. Sometimes we lose our feelings for someone we thought we will love forever. And sometimes love happens with the most unexpected person, at the rarest moment and it lasts longer than you expect...

...At first, it hurt me that your dad didn't love me anymore and wanted to move on. But slowly living with only you by my side, I understood that we all are human and we get defeated in front of our heart. And I'm so thankful that you are my daughter. But whatever happened to me doesn't stop me from wishing all the happiness that's waiting for you!" 

Yunhee found her words so meaningful that she couldn't keep her eyes off of her mom's ones. 

"What are you looking at Yunhee? We didn't talk about your dad in a long time. Is that why this is so awkward to you?" She asked her daughter. 

"Mom, I love you!" 

"Yes I know dear. You're the only one I have in this world" her mother patted her head. 

Yunhee couldn’t talk more. She cried as much as she wanted, as her mom pulled her into a hug again. 

“Make it up with him. I’m sure he will understand you! And once you guys make up, make sure to bring him home some day, okay? Don’t cry, don’t cry!” her mom slowly patted Yunhee’s head, until she was lulled to sleep. 

_____________________

As he closed the main door behind after entering his apartment, it started snowing. Snow is Jun's favorite. 

But today is just not the day. 

He threw his padding jacket away on the couch and went to the bedroom first. He wished to get changed- from his old clothes, his old thoughts, his memories, his feelings. 

He closed his eyes, being tormented at the flash of the earlier events passing like lightning in his brain. He walked up to the mirror fixed on the dressing table at one side of the room, and looked straight into his reflection.  

"Happy now? Getting hurt?" He mumbled as if he mocked himself. He hung his head low as he was smiling painfully at his mirror image. 

"I told her that I'm never going to show her my face again and how exactly am I doing that?" He raised a question for himself. 

"I said I'll stop liking her and I'll forget her. How am I going to do that?" He looked up at the mirror. 

"Leave before it's late!" 

He remembered Minghao's words. He never thought it was going to work in such a practical situation. 

Well, it's late. But it's never too late to leave. He opened his phone and went to the gallery first. He looked at the pictures he had clicked of Yunhee from time to time. "Yunhee", he said in a broken voice, "I loved you!"

Hands down, this was my favorite chapter to write. The conversation between Yunhee and her mom, I gave it my everything. Honestly, I had so many things to tell through this story and this chapter was that particular U TURN for me where the storyline can finally get the right direction. And to the readers, don't worry. Everything will be okay. 💜💜