L is for a Lunatic called Daniel

identity Crisis

Daniel was irritated,bored and restless out of his mind,he also couldn't stop having so many thoughts about what was happening.The more he thought about it the more confused he felt,weird even and angry at even having to feel these strange emotions.In Daniel's head it was all David's fault he felt how he was feeling,he had to blame someone for it.

When in reality it wasn't just David's fault.Some part of Daniel wanted to come back to camp campbell just to see David again,the Xemug thing was a cover up.Truth was,Daniel felt slightly less alone and happier with David.Deeper down however,Daniel yearned for company,affection and touch...he wanted it from David,he wanted to be loved,adored and slightly feared by him.He even imagined what it would be like if David also felt the way he did,imagined how much less of a freak he would feel knowing that someone as normal as David could care and love him.So Daniel could blame David all he wants,but if he really thought David was the problem he could easily run away,but he stayed.He secretly hoped that David could help him,free him from his brainwashed mind and give him a real life.

Another part of Daniel was a nightmare,making him fight himself everyday.Daniel knows he has feelings for David and wants to make something work out,but then his thoughts, and 'outside presentation' stops that.Daniel wasn't aloud to do such a thing!? He was the bad guy,the cold hearted crazy murderer,emotionless with a painted smile,devoted to Xemug only! He shouldn't be anything more than that or try to change it.That was what makes Daniel....Daniel.The cultist who doesn't get his inner wants and desires,pushes aside any independent thought and emotions. And the purpose of his existence? To be a slave and do as Xemug says.Always.Nothing more.

Daniel got angry as his thoughts began to conflict one another,spiralling him further into his identity crisis.He sat up and pulled at his hair frustrated,he wanted the thoughts to go away until his mind was back to being blank and only thinking of Xemug again,independent thoughts was always a tough challenge.He stood up pacing around the cabin thinking about not thinking,he also hated it when his mind was blank with only xemug in there.

"GOD FUCKING DAM IT!" Daniel yelled to the ceiling then took out his dagger.He began to stab,tear and rip Gwens bed frantically.Mindless Destruction.That would distract him.Daniel began to pant heavily as he kept destroying the bed,until it was a complete mess of spring,slashes and inner stuffing.Once the anger faded along with the self identity thoughts,Daniel staggered back and sat on Davids bed.Another emotion began to stir inside of him.

Sadness.

Daniel began to remember other things about himself causing tears to brim,this made him angry again as he was showing sadness but couldn't stop it.He thought about the Death of his parents,his 'friend' that only feared him and how he killed that so called 'freind'. His first cultist punishment-sleep deprivation by injecting something in his eyelids to stop him from blinking making it harder to sleep,the slaughter of an entire camp,and many other things.Daniel held his face in his hands,tears flowing from him,he was dead silent whilst crying.

After a while Daniel got fed up of having sad thoughts,wanting them to go away to.He knew just how to sort that.Daniel wiped his face then stood up,grabbing Davids jacket in case bad weather was to come and sneakily walked out the cabin.He slipped into Davids car after unlocking it,Davids car keys was in the jacket pocket.Quickly,he looked around for anyone else then seeing as no one was around he floored it and drove of.

It was time to drown out the pesky thoughts,and what better way to do that than having a few drinks?