Introspection

Rosalie (I'm falling)

   Love. Is that what I've convinced myself that I'm feeling? I think that I'm lying to myself. Is he even real? Do I even know what I'm feeling? What even is love? 

   I feel the air swallow me whole. I see him. He's standing over by the tree, painting me. He's painting me, but I wish that I were painting him instead. He feels so close to me. The smell of him lingers all around. I can hear him now. He's telling me that I smell good. Like Vanilla. Vanilla. Vanilla. Why Vanilla? He smells like citrus. That to me is the smell of love and beauty. Vanilla. Vanilla. Vanilla. Why am I always in the lake? Do I like it here. He makes it feel so much better than I make it feel when I'm here. Don't go.

      What was I doing? I can only imagine where my head went. I wish I could go back, but I don't even know where I was or what was happening. Why don't I remember. I told him that I'd text him. But I'm too scared. What if It's just a mistake? What if he's my mistake? I decided to text him anyways.

   11:56pm: Rosalie: Hey Picasso, you up? 

   11:56pm: Liam: Yeah, yeah. I'm up

   12:00am: Rosalie: Let's go for a walk

   12:00am: Liam: Right now?

   12:10am: Rosalie: Yeah, I'm outside right now hurry up

   12:10am: Liam: Uh, yeah, okay, I'm on my way down right now, I wont be long

   As I waited for him. I wondered if he actually wanted to hang out with me, or if I pushed him into it. He walked out through the front door and looked at me. "You look pretty." I looked at him, hiding the fluster throughout my whole body. "Don't get too attracted bud, It's just a walk." I can't believe that he said that to me. Did he mean it? We started walking down the street together. I kept my eyes forward, but I could feel him staring at me. It didn't bother me though, it made me feel warm. "Where are we going?" Without looking at him I said "You'll see." We walked for fifteen minutes. The whole time I could feel his eyes looking at me. I wonder what it was he was looking at.

   Once we made it to the destination, which was just a 7-eleven. He looked at me with confusion. "This is it, did you bring any money?" He looked a bit embarrassed that he didn't bring any. "Uhm, I didn't think that I needed to bring any money, I'm sorry." I looked at him and smiled to make him feel less bad about not bringing money. "It's okay buster, I brought a twenty." He looked at me. "How is a twenty enough for the both of us." I laughed at his words. "A twenty dollar bill in a gas station can get you so many things, man how do you not know this." He didn't say anything, we just walked into the Gas Station. When we went in I told him to get a few things and I would do the same, but it was going to be a competition on who got the better stuff. So we spilt up and went through the tiny Gas Station looking for the best stuff. Once we were both done we went up to the cashier and I gave them my twenty. I got 2 dollars back and we walked out. We moved over to the bench that is sat right next to the 7-eleven and we sat there to compare out stuff. He got A doughnut with pink frosting on it and sprinkles, Root beer, Rainbow Sour Candy Strips and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I got the same exact kind of doughnut, Grape Soda, Sour Patch Kids, and a Kit Kat. "I definitely win." He looked at me and laughed sarcastically. "There's no way that you win, Reese's does not lose against a Kit Kat. Plus who gets Grape Soda?" I looked at him and grabbed the Grape soda, opened it and handed it to him. "Take a sip and tell me different." He looked at me and grabbed the soda. He took a sip, and then another. He looked at me and his face was a bit in shock. "Never mind, you win." I laughed, then got up and kept laughing. "Victory is mine Reese's." He looked at me and then got up. We were both standing in front of each other while laughing. But something changed. He grabbed me by my shoulders and said something I wasn't expecting. "Can I kiss you?" I looked at him, I couldn't actually believe that those words just left his mouth. Why did they leave his mouth. "Do it." He looked at me even more when I said that.  He then began to lean in closer to me. Close enough that I could feel the warmth of his breathe hit my lips. But then he moved even closer. We were kissing. Actually kissing. I couldn't actually believe it. I wasn't mad about it or anything. All I could think about was him. How could someone feel so warm. How could someone know how to kiss so perfectly. How was he so perfect. "Sorry if you want to tongue kiss me or something, but I'm not gonna go for that, It's too much like sucking on a fruit roll up." He looked at me when I said that and he started laughing. "I definitely agree, that's why I didn't do it. Is it okay if-" I didn't even let him finish his sentence. I just pulled him in by strings of his hoodie and just like that, we were kissing again. It felt so right. It was exactly what I needed. I knew it right then, that he made me feel alive.