BIANCA'S POV
And Just like that...she and i ended that day with a heavy Heart
And feels like we ended too,Almost feels like a closure...A goodbye to us...and it's scaring the hell out of me
Tapos na yong libing ni Dadi,Nandito na kami sa bahay...Marami pa ring tao,helping us na ayosin yong mga dapat ayosin
They are too loud and it'a giving me headache,I want them to shut up but doesn't have the will to make them
So i decided to go on my room,It's sound prof,it would be the best for now
I stand up,walk my way to the stairs
Pero pag apak pa lang ng Paa ko sa unang hagdan parang na alog yong utak ko at umikot ng 360 degrees ang paningin ko
I know i was about to fall pero may sumalo sa likod ko,i don't know who it was kase nasa likod ko lang siya,and given the fact na papikit na rin yong mga mata ko
" You should be more careful ate " i heard the person said
And hearing how gentle it is
" H-heart?" I weakly said
" Yup,it's me po"
And after that i felt my body became more shaky,Na parang lumambot yong mga buto ko
But Heart's grip on my arms becomes tight
" Are you okay ate??should i ask for help?" She asked gently but the worry is visible on her voice
" N-no,j just h-help me go t-to my r-room...p-please" i managed to say
Even though i cannot see her i felt that she nodded
So tinulongan nga niya akong umakyat sa kuwarto ko
Dahan dahan kami sa paghakbang,She's being careful
ilang segundo pa at nakarating na nga kami sa kuwarto ko
She also helps me to lie down on my bed,She adjust the pillow for me
Pagkatapos non umupo siya sa tabi ko
She's not talking though,naka upo lang siya
I closed my eyes kase sobrang nahihilo na talaga ako
" I-is she okay?" I couldn't resist on asking,still eyes closed
I heard her sigh,i know she knows who am i talking about
" Mhm,i don't know ate....after the libing hindi ko na siya nakita...Kuya Markus said wala din daw siya sa bahay nila,and wala din siya sa Condo" she explained
I know we are both hurting,Pareho kaming nahihirapan sa sitwasyon
" M-maybe g-gusto lang niya mapag isa muna...L-let's just give her time,M-maybe she'll come around soon" i said and weakly smiled and manages to open my eyes,kahit hindi ko mamulat ng husto yong mata ko
And there i saw Heart looking at me with a sympathetic look on her face
" A am I t-the one who are you trying to convince that she'll come around ate?.....or yourself?" Then she asked
Upom hearing that,there's a little sting on my Heart that hurts every nerve on my Body
I want to cry,but i've had enough on that
I breathe deeply
" I-i i don't know" i said honestly
" What happened to you guys? If you don't mind me asking po" she gently asked
I don't want to talk about it....
But i thought this is a better opportunity to express my thoughts and feelings...I know it will help me somehow
" I d-dont know w-what exactly the problem Heart...H-hindi ko na rin alam kung s-saan ba 'to nagsimula o kung paano.....basta ang alam ko lang,B-bigla na lang nag iba ang l-lahat,Bigla na lang lumabo ang lahat...Bigla na lang nawala ang lahat...and then Ayon,hindi ko na alam kung paano aayosin,o kung meron bang dapat ayosin..." After i said that i inhaled and exhaled deeply
My tears are threatening to betray me
" I-is it because of her Unexpected arrangedment with Another Girl? " Heart asked
I looked at her and then look at the ceiling
Tears are now falling at the side of my eyes but i didn't bother to wipe them
" W-well,i-its not exactly her who a-arranged it...b-but yeah,i g-guess it's one o-of the reason" i honestly answered again
" Her Family "
Tinignan ko siya ulit nong sinabi niya yon and looked away again
I nodded
" Your situation "
I nodded
" The death of tito"
I bit my lips and nodded
" People that has interest with her "
And yet again,i nodded
I don't know,hindi ko mapigilang ilabas ang mga saloobin ko,Sobrang bigat na rin kase
" You not communicating with her when she needed you to "
Upon hearing that,I closed my eyes tightly and grip the sheet under me
" Her thinking that you're okay without her in your life "
At this point i want Heart to stop...But i know i need this...i need someone to pinpoint what's wrong...kase hindi namin kaya yon ni Yumi
So instead i gripped my sheet more until my nuckles are hurting
" Elmo "
That made me lose my grip on the sheet and made me open my eyes
Heart sadly nodded when i look at her
" Yeah,She thinks him as a threat....she doubted her position to your Heart,She doubted her worth."
I immedietly shook my Head
" N-no,no no no " i panicked
" I d-don't have anything f-for him,t-trust me H-heart i -i dont" i tried to explain
Heart smiled and holds my Hand
" Ate,calm down...i know po..."
" He's just convinient to your situation that time....you just used him as a shield,you just wanted to block the problems..."
She said
I know i was wrong there,And im thankful that Heart is saying this all
" Pero sa kagustohan mong maharangan ang problema,Yumi got caught up to your sheild..hindi mo namalayang pati siya naharangan mo na...so you both got hurt on that process,hanggang sa lumala na yong sakit,at hindi niyo alam kung paano aayosin" she continued
I don't know what to say...but i know She's right..
We both commited mistakes that leads us to the edge...and maybe leads us to our end
