Broken Heart Syndrome

Chapter 8

Chapter 8
Stars

I'm not dense to know that I felt something different that night. I know because when he brought me home, all I could think about was his beautiful voice and how I wanted to hear him sing again. I know because that same night, I dreamt of him.

But because it was the first time I felt that way, I decided to ignore it.

According to the Internet and the books I've read, they all said that what I'm feeling is commonly known as a 'crush'. I have never had a crush, so I didn't know what it meant. When I searched for its definition, it showed that I am attracted to him physically and that what I'm feeling is simply a passing infatuation.

That made me relieved. If this will pass, then I guess it's no problem. I have no plans to nurture this feeling anyway. I won't deny that Bright is an attractive person, but I don't plan to have feelings for him at all.

"It's been a while, Mom..." I smiled as I stared at her tomb.

It's her tenth death anniversary today. It's been years since I last visited her. The last time I went was when I was sixteen, and my dad was with me. I didn't like going here because it would always remind me how my mother wasn't alive anymore. It would always remind me how the woman I respect and love so much will never be alive anymore.

So I made college an excuse not to visit her for consecutive years. My father noticed it too, but because we rarely see each other due to his work, he never got the chance to talk to me about it.

"I'll go wait in the car," Gulf said after placing the bouquet of tulips on the grass.

Exams were finally done, and it was officially the start of our semester break. We were both still wearing our college uniforms because our last two exams finished today. They were supposed to rehearse for their performance tonight, but Gulf moved it to tomorrow morning because of this. He said it was fine because their performance would be in the afternoon anyway.

I nodded and let him take his leave. I looked at my mother's tombstone once again.

Belle Karnchana Opas-iamkajorn, it said.

And below her beautiful name was her birth date and the day she passed.

I closed my eyes when I remembered that day. I was ten at that time. My mother was still very young when I saw her suddenly having a heart attack at our mansion back then. Dad was away at that time, so I was the one who called for an ambulance. Even the maids and butlers were frantically moving around the house, some were trying to appease me, but I couldn't stop crying.

When she was brought to the hospital, the doctor said it wasn't a heart attack but something called Broken Heart Syndrome. The doctor explained that intense physical or emotional events often precede it, and since my mother didn't have any injuries, it was presumed to be the latter. We just didn't know what emotional event led her to have her heart broken like that. My father didn't know, too.

Her heart failed during the surgery, and then... that was it.

I kneeled on the grass to light the candles. Beside her tombstone were two bouquets from Gulf and me and the three scented candles I had just lit.

"Mom, I found new friends," I started. "Well, they were Gulf's friends first, but they became mine, too. They're really nice."

I smiled. I never talk to anyone this openly except for her. I speak to Gulf about a lot of things, but I talk to my mother about everything. Every night when I can't sleep, I'll close my eyes and try talking to her about my thoughts. She's like my invisible diary.

She would have been so happy that I had other friends besides Gulf. Whenever we were invited to attend banquets and formal parties, she would always encourage me to socialize with the other kids. On the other hand, I would always decline.