But I Can't Lose Her

seeing isn't believing - 60

believing is seeing - judy, santa clause

I quickly sit up and look around, finding the window covered. In snow. I squeal quietly before standing and running to my closet, throwing on a sweatshirt. I grab my phone and check the time, seeing it's only seven.

I ignore the fact that no one else is probably awake and rush downstairs, looking over to the Christmas tree. A part of me feels like it deflates when there's no gifts under the tree, but I ignore it, reminding myself that mom usually does it.

It's been a week and a half since mom's been home, but we've all been keeping her safe by asking her not to do stuff. It's really hard to keep her so tied down to doing easy stuff. It's not even just physical, it's also mental stressers, so things like work she can't take care of. Thank God they understand.

I go into the garage and grab the bag of gifts mom has all wrapped up, putting them under the tree. Just because the first Christmas look wasn't magical for me doesn't mean it shouldn't be for everyone else.

Later I'll go grab the bags and gifts she's wrapped more recently in her room, but I don't want to wake her yet. So, I just head to the kitchen, starting on the breakfast.

We're having so many people over today, I have to triple the recipe of the french toast casserole so that we have enough. We have the four of us, plus the four Locklift's, plus mom-mom and papa, and then not only uncle J and aunt Maxi, but also aunt Marcy and uncle Tom with Izzy and Rex. And this year, we have two special guests. Wes and Jacob.

The house is going to be packed.

Soon it's around nine and Becca and Michael have both woken up, Michael setting up the house to make sure it's all in order for our guests, Becca helping me cook. Then the door opens, revealing some of my favorite people.

They all walk in, Mrs. Locklift quickly coming in to help us with the breakfast while Harper and Cole go put stuff under the tree. I look around for Mr. Locklift, but I shrug, figuring that he just went to clean off mom's car like he normally does.

My best friend comes into the kitchen, my boyfriend following her and I smile at both of them. Cole heads over to Michael, helping him while Becca and I try to convince Harper it's not that bad to cook.

She laughs as I throw flour on her for being such a wimp. We all make fun of her white hair, but soon enough, mine is white too.

Before it can turn into a food fight, Mrs. Locklift bans us from the kitchen and we all go to the living room, me asking Becca to go get mom. She quickly runs up the stairs as I fall back onto the couch, Harper falling next to me. Cole sits on the other side with Michael sitting next to him.

"So when is everyone getting here?" Harper asks and I shrug, checking my phone, seeing it's 9:30.

"They all are staying at the inn so they should be here soon," I state, leaning into the couch, already tired.

"Good morning, kiddos," mom greets and I tilt my head back, watching her upside down as she walks towards the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas," we all chorus and she laughs. I stand and grab the remotes, setting up the Christmas music on the TV and lighting the fire place.

"Who wants a hat?" I ask, grabbing the bin and everyone jumps towards them. We pull out different ones, and I grab the light up Christmas tree hat one for Cole as a joke. I quickly run around the bin and put it on his head, and he laughs.

"This is the worst hat," he claims and I giggle, pulling it further on his head.

"That's why it matches you so perfectly," I joke and he gasps, faking offence as he puts his hand on his heart.