But I Can't Lose Her

goodbye may seem forever - 3

farewell is like the end - fox and the hound

Beep Beep Beep

"Ugh," I cry out, flipping over in my bed to get to the other side to shut my phone off. It's so loud and I can already feel the heaviness of my body. I stayed up too late for this.

I finally find the stop button and look down at my phone, seeing that it's 6:20. I groan, turning the other way, the sun peaking into my eyes through the window to my left, but it doesn't hurt, it's just awakening. I sigh, getting out of bed and walking to my closet on the wall of my door.

I quickly get myself together, changing into a tank top and shorts, throwing sweatpants and a sweatshirt into my bag and walking back to my bed. I grab the remote off my bed and turn to my right to shut it off. I put the remote on the dresser underneath my TV and turn, looking at my room for one last time.

It takes me a second to grasp that I won't be here all summer and that I have to leave so many things of mine behind. I breathe in the citrus scent of my diffuser one last time as I close the shades before I grab my bags.

"Morning," I greet, seeing Michael coming out of his room, carrying a large duffel and two other smaller bags. I let River go in front of me, trotting down the steps as I take both my suitcases in both hands, adjusting carefully and taking the steps slowly.

"Morning," he replies, walking up behind me, huffing as he realizes how slow I'm going. "You're gonna fall," he states and I scoff.

"No, I'm not," I reply stubbornly, carefully taking the next step, mad at myself for putting easily slippery socks on.

"Do you want me to take one of the suitcases?" he offers with a sigh and I shake my head.

"No, I'm gonna show you that I'm not gonna fall," I tell him, seeing we only have a few steps left.

"Are you serious?" he huffs and I turn back for a second, sticking my tongue out at him before turning back and taking another step. "Real mature," he mumbles and I shrug, making it down to the front door.

"See? I did it," I brag and he just rolls his eyes and walks away, out the door. I follow, leaving my bags on the porch.

"Oh, so now I get to carry them?" he questions, looking back at me.

"Uh, yeah, I finished my point, now do what you offered," I state and he just scoffs, shaking his head.

"That guy last night should've been thanking me," he mumbles as he walks up the porch steps to grab my stuff and I walk over, flicking his forehead before heading inside.

Everyone wakes up, even Becca, who is not a morning person, and ten minutes to seven we hear a honk and rush out of the house. I put the coffee I made down on the side-door steps and walk over to Harper, both of us in our matching Crocs and I laugh.

"Good morning," she greets, but I just hug her. I can't believe I won't see her all summer. I haven't spent a summer away from Harper since we were five. We've been best friends for ten summers. I can't imagine what this one will be like without her. I don't want to.

So I depart from her, ignoring the fact that I won't get to have a hot tub night with her this summer. Or a night-swimming cry-fest. It'll just be FaceTimes and text.

"Don't cry, or I will," she threatens and I laugh, holding it back as we smile at each other.

"This is gonna be weird," I claim, and she nods, but then shakes her head.

"You're going to have so much fun. Please, please, please send me all the cute outfits and all the guys and everything," she whines and I nod, my smile quivering ever so slightly but I keep it back. I can't handle it when she cries.