Diamond's Summer GxG

18

Diamond Pov

I shouldn't have left her that way. I know. I was scared. I would say I haven't felt this way in a long time.. but honestly I've never felt this way at all, and that scares me the most. Before this trip I thought I was going to be single forever, and I was fine with that.. Now I have so many emotions I can't even ignore if I tried.

I don't know if I'm ready to let somebody back in. It was fine when I could convince myself it was just a fling but now I don't want it to be. It's scary. Every relationship I get taken advantage of, lied to, cheated on.

I don't know if I can take it again. Especially not from Summer, she's so special to me. If she ruins my trust I don't know what I'd do. I keep wondering if she's better off just being a memory.

I tried to distract myself from my feelings that night I changed out of the clothes Summer let me borrow and put on something warmer.

I walked through the wind and sea salt blowing against my body with my violin.

I can't just deprive myself from her for nothing. I need a song.

I played wildly staring at the shore, trying to distract myself from all of my feelings, but all it did was seep into my music.

I played emotionally, getting wrapped up in the notes.. and even more wrapped up in my feelings.

My strumming matched me visualizing her, naked, the noises she made, the way her body arched and curved... the way she pleased me.

Fuckkkk, I shouldn't have left so abruptly. She probably thinks I didn't like it, or I don't like her. Which is as far from the truth as possible. What if I made her sad? I don't want to hurt her

I let my emotions carry the notes away.

But what if I let her in and she hurts me. We're on vacation, she could be using this as her opportunity to get away... pretend to be something she's not. She's never even been with a woman before, what if she has a whole ass man back where she's from?

My face burned at the thought. What if I'm feeling all these feelings for nothing. I stopped playing.

When I looked back at my recording the time stamp said I played for 5 minutes straight.

Finally, I know it's going to need some tweaking, some parts will be scrapped, but I should at least have 2 minutes worth of a song when I finish composing.

I went back into the house listening to it, I couldn't help the small smile that crept on my face. I loved it. Finally, a song.

The victory was short lived though, as I listened closely it all reminded me of Summer.

I have to try to talk to her.

I walked through the kitchen. My hand touched their door... then I looked down at my phone looking at the time.

Damn, it's super late, she's probably not even up...

I can't just let her think I don't care.

I stood there at their door typing out a long message telling her everything I feel.

Diamond:
I'm so sorry Summer. I freaked out. I feel like I care too much. I've only known you for 5 days and now I don't even want to be the person I use to be anymore. It's scary for me. I know I shouldn't have left like that. But let's be real, how is this gonna work? Everytime I'm around you and think about the fact that the days are coming closer and closer to an end I feel like I'm drowning

I deleted most of the message. She doesn't want to hear all that. She probably doesn't even care that much. At the end of the day, I'm the one whose here alone. She came with friends and she's going to have a good time with or without me.