Beyond Fanfic

35.

Flora pov

I was sitting in a white, wedding dress. I expected this day to be the perfect day to ever exist. Getting wedded, having my own family, having my friends by my side forever.

I am a murderer now.

Park Jimin... Jungkook's good friend is a lawyer who was telling me that he would be fighting my case and it was not murder but self-defense.

My head was on Jungkook's chest and Sara was holding my head. All of us were in the hospital because Mindy was admitted to the ICU as soon as our boys came into that room.

We all were sitting there just like that. Me in a ripped wedding dress with stains of blood, Sara was staring at her hand with Mindy's blood on it.

Taehyung was sitting on the floor, crying his eyes out. None of us slept from last night.

And that all would never happen in the first place if only I didn't step between Baek and Jungkook that day.

Mindy would never beat him... Neither she was there in that condition.

Police were there asking me questions and I was blankly answering him.

Sara pov

Jin hugged me slightly while my eyes teared even after crying for the whole night. "She wanted to be a mother Jin... She wanted to keep the baby." I said and cried over his shoulder. Taehyung heard me and came towards us.

"Sara! What did you say?" He asked desperately.

I took a breath. "She was pregnant with your baby Tae. She wanted to keep it." I told him and cried again. "She left smoking, alcohol, and everything."

Taehyung stood up when the doctor came outside of the ICU. "How is her?" He asked as if his life depends on her answer.

I was staring at everything with shock.

"She... She had a miscarriage." The doctor paused. "Due to severe damage in the abdomen, she won't be able to be conceived again." The doctor said and pressed his hand on Taehyung. "Take care of her." He said and left all of us.

Taehyung rushed inside the room, wiping his tears.

Mindy pov

I noticed the blood between my legs and a tear left my eye. That's when Taehyung came inside and sat beside me. He didn't sleep last night and the redness of his eyes said it all.

"I am sorry... I couldn't make you a father." I said and he started crying again. He intertwined his fingers with mine "I don't care... I just want you." He kissed my forehead but all these words can't change the fact that I was not able to keep his baby.

He asked me for one thing... He had one aspiration, to be a father and I failed it.

He said I would be a beautiful mother.

I tried everything from quitting smoking to stopping writing about sex, I left alcohol and slept on time, for the sake of this baby, I did my best.

But maybe everyone is right... A person like me can't be a mother.

He adjusted my head on his lap and kept caressing me. "Tae... I could never give you a child." I said and looked at the ceiling.

"Why are you thinking all this Mindy? I love you... I would have died if anything happened to you!"

"I thought it would be a girl."
"Mindy stop!" He cried and hugged me tightly. "Don't talk about it and rest... Only you matter to me I swear." He said again.

"I don't deserve you Taehyung." I cupped his cheeks, whispering and cried. Flora and Sara walked inside and held my hands, Tae fell asleep on me.

They both cried last night, everyone, did. Everyone is here for me but all I feel is the guilt of not being able to save my baby. I heard the doctor when she said I would never be able to have a baby. Taehyung would never tell me that just to keep me with him.

I looked at him sleeping with our hands wrapped. "I dare you to overthink!" Sara said to both of us.

"I broke my wedding with Jungkook," Flora said. "Why?" We both shouted and I suddenly had a pain in my stomach.

"You need to rest Mindy... I already took a lot from you." Flora said and left.

Sara went with her and my eyes fell on Tae who fell asleep with his head on my bed. I tried to pull back my hand but he squeezed his hand tighter on mine. "Don't go, Mindy... I would die without you."

A tear left my eyes and I caressed his hair, kissing his forehead. "You won't die Taehyung. You have to live. You have to be happy and have whatever you want in life." I said and he frowned again in his sleep.

For three damned days, I was admitted to that hospital and every second I had the guilt of losing my child. If only I never raised a hand at Baek, never slept with someone I dated, never left for the home alone, never let Tae fall in love with me.

If only I could turn back to my past self and stop her doing these things. Being in love with Tae is the best thing. He made me believe that maybe I can be a good person, maybe I am not what others made me believe.

And maybe I could be a good mother... He made me believe with every kiss that I can be a wife, mother like every good female.

Now I am back home, he wanted me to stay with him. All I could see in his eyes was a fear of losing me, every time it matched with mine. I lay on the bed thinking of being normal, no matter how ghostly my eyes look like such a part of me is snatched away.

I don't want him to assure me again and again.

I don't want anyone to pity me anymore.

I felt his arms covering me from behind. "I made your favorite dinner baby." He pecked my shoulder. "Tae... Are you fine?"

"Of course I am... You are with me, I don't need anything else." He said the same thing from the time I was laying on the bed of the hospital. He said the same thing this morning and keeps saying it.

What a liar!

When I see in his eyes, only pain is there. And it hurts more when he says something which is not true. He wanted to be a father, wanted to embrace our child. He feels guilty for my condition.

He is guilty that I ended up like this.

And whenever he says that I am perfect for him, whole for him. It does nothing but hurt me even more.

The way he puts his arm around me, pressing his face on my spine. Delicate enough not to hurt me, tight enough in the fear to stop me of I run away.

And staying with him like that does nothing but increase the guilt inside me.