The Love Letters (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 21

Gonorrhoea.

I'm suffering of Gonorrhoea.

Exactly. What the fuck is Gonorrhoea? I didn't know it, either. Apparently, its a frequent venereal disease. On of the most frequent diseases.

I'm glad that I am not infected by HIV. Well, we don't know it, yet, because it usually isn't discovered that early. I have to go to the doctor regularly, now, to do tests.

Gonorrhoea is a bacterial disease that, if treated well, cures were fast. He gave me antibiotics to heal. I shouldn't have sex right now, even if I would prevent, because the risk of infection is very high. A condom cannot protect from that disease completely.

I'm so happy that I can heal from that disease. Apparently, the Gonococci, that's the name of the bacteria, are because of the anal sex in my intestine. There usually aren't any symptoms for Gonorrhoea in the intestine, that's what the doctor told me. It might sting or itch a little, and it could hurt during the anal sex.

If this disease isn't treated, the prostate could be infected.

Yes. I know everything about that disease, now. I'm a professional.

When the doctor told us that Gonorrhoea can be healed, Louis, Mum and I sighed from the relief. Yes, I still am triggered because of the rape, but at least, there aren't any bad consequences because of it. I have to take the antibiotics for a short time, and then, I'll be- if all the other tests are negative- healthy, again.

The doctor also looked at the bruises and the scars. He said that most of them aren't that horrible, they should disappear in one month, and if it hurts, I should take a painkiller. But he noticed that I can't walk properly, and he doesn't think that it's only because the man was cold-hearted and hurt me with no mercy, but also because he hurt a pelvic bone of mine. I didn't even know that was possible! He sent me to do a radio at the hospital, and there actually is a crack. They said that I can't really do something about it, I shouldn't do sports until that cured, and I should sleep on my back. I hate sleeping on my back!

I also should go to the physiotherapist to massage it. I don't know, I don't really understand much of it. It needs to cure, which should take two, three months. Honestly, the situation I'm in is horrible, but it could be so much worse, I'm actually contented.

"How do you feel?", Louis asks as we're laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.  I didn't want him to go home yet, after what he did for me.

"Honestly, I'm glad."

"Yeah. Me too. I was so afraid."

"I know, right?" I let a little laugh slip. "But it's okay, now."

"It's not okay. A man raped you."

"I know. This isn't okay. But there aren't any serious consequences."

"What about your pelvis?"

"Oh. Yeah, that's shit, but it will go away."

"You always think that positive. That's a motherfucking talent." Louis puts his hand on my cheek. I face him. "You don't?", I ask.

He shakes his head. "Not at all." He smirks. He opens his mouth, as if he wants to say something, but then he closes it again. I laugh. "What are you thinking? Tell me!"

He shakes his head. "No. It's disrespectful."

"Louis!"

"Harry!"

"Pleaseeee!", I moan. Louis' eyes widen immediately, and he removes his hand. "What the fuck."

"Yeah, this shouldn't have turned out this way", I say. Louis bursts out in laughter. "I hope so. Because I'm very, very confused right now."