The Love Letters (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 33

"...Louis?"

"Yeah. It's me." The wry smile on his face looks confused, maybe a little scared.

"You are... W?"

He nods.

"Why did you... why did you choose the letter W?" That question is dumb, I know, but I need to save time to think straight now.

"Uhm, because of my second name, William?"

Oh. Makes sense. I could've thought of that.

Louis hands me the flowers. I grab them and smell them. God, they're amazing. "Th- thank you", I stutter. They're so pretty. They're the same one I bought for him some months ago to thank him after he saved me.

"My pleasure, Harry. I'm glad you like them." He still seems to be a little suspicious about me. I sit down next to him. Wow...

"So... I was your crush the whole time?"

He nods. "Well... yeah."

"Oh my god." I can't believe that. I can't. Louis? Louis?! "Well, I guess you were right when you said I would find it out today."

"Yes." He laughs a little. Fuck. What am I supposed to say?!

I carefully glance over to him. He looks insecure. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

"Soooo...?" Louis bites on his lower lip.

"Why... why do you like me?"

"Do I really have to answer that question? I think we've spent enough time together lately, so that you can reply to yourself." He blushes a little. I don't know what to think. My belly says 'awww, Lou!' but my brain says 'alright what the fuck is happening'. I'm still confused.

"Well... Louis... I... I don't know how to-"

"You're rejecting me", he whispers, coldly.

"What, no! I just-"

"You. Are. Rejecting. Me", he repeats, louder. He stares at his feet, as the realisation comes to him. He doesn't look sad or disappointed. He looks angry.

"It's because I'm shorter isn't it?"

"What?" Well...? "No, Lou! It's just, we're good friends right now and-"

"Harry." He faces me. His eyes are dark and furious. "You are so superficial. I hate that I l- that I like you that much."

"Louis, it isn't about you or me but the thing is-"

"You keep on giving me hope", he cuts me off, "you flirt and cuddle with me all the time, you kiss my cheek and my hair and my nose, you tell me that I'm pretty over and over again, you play with me and you hurt my fucking feelings. Only because I'm shorter than you. I used to be fucking taller."

I start to feel guilty. "Louis... I'm not superficial. At all."

"Harry, you always say that you want a tall, strong man that can hold you when you're sad and everything. That is superficial. You liked me. Why can't you like me anymore? Don't you know how much you hurt me? You call me after your fucking date with Lucas and you want me to sleep over, I stay with you the whole night, but I'm still not good enough because I'm short." He shakes his head in disbelief. "God, I feel so fucking dumb. I still had hope..."

"Louis, I'm sorry that I don't want to date you, but this obviously isn't about your height. You and I aren't meant for each other. You're being a little selfish."

"I am selfish?" He laughs sarcastically. "I might be a little jealous and overprotective, but I am not selfish. I don't choose my potential partners by their height."

"Louis, the height doesn't have to do anything with this. It's the way we act. I am fragile and want to be hold. I guess it's the characteristics, you know? You're too much like me."

He shakes his head, frustrated. "Oh god..."

What the fuck is wrong? Why is he that angry?

"And then you text me and ask for a fucking blowjob."

I can't help but giggle. That was hilarious.

"Harry, this isn't funny. You knew I'm not fucking straight. Harry, you were fucking raped, and I like you, yeah? I was so confused, and then you said it was a joke. I'm happy you said this, because I don't know what I would've done, but you don't joke with those topics." He now looks completely uncomfortable, with his arms crossed. My mood changes immediately. I want to hug him. I want to comfort him. I want to show him he's wrong. I don't know why, though.

"Lou..."

"Don't call me Lou."

"But, Louis-"

"No, Harry. I respect your choice, because I'd be toxic if I wouldn't, but you are fucking superficial and pathetic."

His words hurt more than they should. I'm not used to that Louis. Sure, he acts sassy and cocky with everyone else all the time, but I'm not everyone else.

"Alright", I mumble. I try to smile a little at him, but the tears are faster. I wipe them away before he can see them. He looks at me, and I can see how something breaks down in his eyes.

"Look, Harry, now, that I see you cry and everything, I feel bad, even if I did nothing wrong."

I swallow.

"It shouldn't be that way, though. Because, just like you said earlier, 'You and I aren't meant for each other'." He stares into my eyes, with that heartbroken look on his face, and I want him to stop talking. Why can't we just turn back time?

"Well, you know what, Harry?"

I shake my head.

"I think we are meant for each other, but you're too blind to see it."

"Shut up, please", I ask. He bitterly looks at me. "No, Harry. I won't shut up only because you are too weak to take all of this. I'm being honest, because you broke me too many times, even though we haven't been friends for a long time, yet."

"I thought you liked me. Why are you insulting me that much? It hurts."

"I'm not insulting you. I'm calling out your defects. Everyone has some of them, of course, but I still lo- have strong feelings for you, even though you did mistakes like this. Everyone has defects. Those flaws make you human. But I just want you to realize how you act and how you hurt other people." A single tear leaves the corner of his eye. I want to wipe it away. I lift my hand, but he pushes it away. "No. I won't fall for your charm, again."

What have I done?

"You know what's the worst?", he asks.

"I don't."

"Enough people are putting me down because of my height and the way I am. I really didn't think that one of my closest friends was like that, too."

"There's nothing wrong with being short."

"I know that, but you don't. Apparently, it ruins my love life." He stands up. "I'm going home, now. Sorry that I wasted your time."

"Louis, you didn't waste my time." At least I know everything now

"Yeah, yeah. My bad that I'm not tall enough."

"Louis! I already told you, it isn't about the height! It's also about our attitude and the way we act."

"Kiss my ass." He rolls his eyes. "You know what? I will ask you one last thing. Who found you after you were raped and carried you home? Who stayed with you over the night and the whole next day? Who went with you and your mother to the police and the doctor? Who came to you even though they were angry at you after your breakup with Lucas? Who held you so many times even though they're shorter than you?"

He snorts and turns around.

And... fuck. Should I follow him? Shout his name?

Because...

Because I think he's right.

I'm sure he's right.