A few minutes later, we're sitting on the bench, just like some weeks ago. Louis plays with the flowers, and he seems to love them, which makes me happy. In the beginning, I don't know how to start, but then, I just decide to be direct and honest.
"Louis."
"Hm?" He looks up from the flowers, with red cheeks and glowing eyes, and the butterflies in my stomach are being so aggressive, I swear. He wants to kill me.
"Uhm..." I clear my throat, "I'm going to... talk, now. I want you to listen. Please don't cut me off."
He nods.
I swallow for a last time, before I begin:
"Look, Louis, I know that I really fucked up and that I treated you like shit. You are an amazing person, and this isn't an excuse, but I was dumb and superficial and fucking blind. The thing is, I had feelings for you since I was very young, and I thought they stopped when I found out you dated Hannah. They didn't, though. But I didn't know that. Which also explains why I never had deep feelings for anyone. Sure, I had a few crushes, but I couldn't be in a relationship with someone I didn't really like. I'm always like I wait for my prince, but my prince was always there all the time and I didn't know it. You are my prince, Louis. You cared for me, you comforted me when no one else could. I don't need someone who's tall if I can have you. I don't know if I still can, though, you have to tell me that later. I know I tried to express all that through letters, but that's more your thing, I guess.
I have to tell you something. The day I wrote you a letter to ask you if we could at least be friends again and you crossed 'no', I went out partying with Zayn to distract myself. A boy took me to his house, but I couldn't do it. I think I still have a trauma from what happened, and I'm regularly going to a psychologist now, I talked to my mother. I don't know what would have happened if you... uhm, but I already visited her two times and I think she's really helping me.
But anyway, the boy was really kind, and he even helped me. Later, he drove me home, and I told him everything, and he wanted me to 'go talk to my boy', which is pretty similar to what Zayn wanted. And I thought, if both of them think that way, then I can manage to do it. Which is the reason I'm here today, with you.
Louis, I really... appreciate every inch of you. You are beautiful, inside and out. Your lips are so kissable and red, your skin tan and smooth, your hands tiny and cute, your hair fluffy and thick, and don't get me even started about your eyes. I feel bad for everything I did, and I regret it so much. I shouldn't have played with you like that. Remember the day we talked to the police and the doctor? Later, when we were lying on my bed, I rubbed my cock against your bum, even though I knew you liked boys. I mean of course, we shouldn't make such a big deal of sexualities, but touches like those leave the bro-zone in these situations.
That's why I want to apologise to you. Maybe you'll still be angry afterwards; maybe you won't. I don't know it if I don't try. So yeah, this is the last time I'll try to get your heart back; if you still don't want me, I'll leave you alone.
I really hope you like those flowers, because I bought them to make you happy. They are a gift, such as the... song? I wrote for you. I started to write it a few months ago, when I was really sad and, I don't know, desperate, and I hope you enjoy it."
I can see the interest in his eyes as I grab the piece of paper I wrote the text on. Then I start to sing, well I don't sing but I say it with a kind of melody:
"Walk in your rainbow paradise
Strawberry lipstick state of mind
I get so lost inside your eyes
Would you believe it?
You don't have to say you love me
You don't have to say nothing
You don't have to say you're mine
Honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Oh, honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do
You're wonder under summer skies
Brown skin and lemon over ice
Would you believe it?
You don't have to say you love me
I just want to tell you something
Lately you've been on my mind
Honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Oh, honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Oh, honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do"
Louis stares at me, his eyes are wet.
"And?", I ask, "What do you-"
He interrupts me by grabbing my face and aggressively smashing his lips against mine. The familiar butterflies start to fly again, and for a second, I'm so overwhelmed and confused that i can't react. Then I cup his face and start to kiss him back, slowly. I can feel his trembling hands, and the salty taste of his tears. His soft lips feel so good against mine, it's like they're made to kiss me. I can feel a huge ball of happiness inside my chest, and I'm scared it's going to burst, soon.
The kiss doesn't contain teeth nor tongue, but it's longer and more meaningful than every kiss I've ever received.
When we pull away, one of his hands stays on my cheek. The way he looks at me, that happy and emotional, I know that I have him back. I smile at him.
"Thank you, Harold", he mumbles, flustered.
"My pleasure, Lou." I lean closer to him to kiss him again, this time slower, gentler. My hand wanders to his neck and I can feel the soft, messy hair I adore.
"It was beautiful", he whispers.
"The kiss or the song?"
"Both", he chuckles. He pecks my lips and pulls me into another kiss. I still can't process it. It fucking worked. I did it, he forgave me and gave me even more. I smile into the kiss.
"What's funny", he asks.
"Nothing, I'm just happy."
"So am I", he agrees, "so happy. How could I be that mean to you... you are amazing and I can't believe you did all of this for me."
"Well, I like you."
"I like you, too. Very much."
"You do?"
"Yes, I fucking do! Do you still need a confirmation after all of this?"
I laugh. "I'm sorry. Want to go for a walk?"
He nods. "Yes, but then I need to go home, again, because it will seem suspicious." He grabs the flowers and smells them, again. "Thank you for the flowers. I love them."
"I knew that you were going to like them." I stand up and offer him my hand. He takes it and puts his arm around my waist. "Let's go."
YOU ARE READING
The Love Letters (Larry Stylinson)
FanfictionLarry Stylinson Fanfiction. [AU]. Harry Styles is an eighteen-year-old student in the Congleton High School who just came out of the closet. He has a preference for tall, dominant men who are able to hold him when he has weak moments. Since his out...
