The Love Letters (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 23

"Mum? Dad? Gemma?" It's Saturday, and we're sitting on the kitchen table while eating for lunch. Mum made a vegetables soup. It doesn't taste very good, but she looks very proud of it so I keep on eating it.

The three of them stop eating and look at me.

"I've got a date."

First of all, no one of them reacts. Then mum realizes what I said "OH MY GOD", she squeals, "finally! It's finally happening!! I can't believe it, I knew it from the start! When are you going to meet? Is he going to pick you up?"

"At seven p.m., and yes, he is, I think", I reply confused.

"Wait, what?!", Gemma says, "You've got a date? I can't believe it... I come here from university to calm down from the excitement, and then my little brother tells me he's got a date. Impossible."

"With a boy?", dad asks. I roll my eyes. "No, dad. I came out to you as gay one month ago, but no, it's a girl, obviously."

"Oh, yeah. Oops. Sorry."

"Zayn will come over, later, to help me with the clothes", I inform them. Gemma nods and continues eating the soup, but mum furrows her brow and says: "I'm sure he doesn't mind about your clothes since he's that obsessed with your hair."

"Zayn? He doesn't like my hair. He says it's too curly. Also, he does mind, because he doesn't want me to look bad for my first date."

"I'm not talking about Zayn; I'm talking about the boy!"

"Mum, you don't even know him."

"I don't?"

"You never met him?"

"What?!", she looks confused and disappointed. "So... it is not Louis?"

"Why would it be Louis?"

"Because he obviously likes you and because you love him, I mean you're literally obsessed with him, and because you would make a perfect couple."

I sigh. "I hate this."

"What do you hate?"

"... that Harry-and-Louis-thing. Why does everyone keep on saying this kind of things to us? It's honestly so disrespectful. Louis likes another boy and I'm going out with Lucas." I get up. "I'm going to my room. My appetite is gone."

---

"Smile.", Zayn says.

"What?"

"Smile for me. Honestly, your outfit is amazing, but without the pretty smile of yours, it won't be complete." We're standing in my room, trying to get ready for my date.

"Zayn, stop fucking flirting with me!", I say jokingly, then I push him on my bed. "Actually, do, you're turning me on."

"Oh my god, shut up!" He gets up immediately. "I don't want to fuck my brother."

"I'm not your brother."

"You are." He shakes his head. "No, but honestly, that blazer looks amazing on you, and your legs look delicious in those skinny jeans, and your hair looks amazing styled like this, but please smile. If you won't smile for me, then do it for Lucas."

"I don't feel like smiling."

"Aren't you excited for the date? You were so happy yesterday."

"I am, of course I am, but...", I mumble the rest of the sentence.

"What? I didn't understand everything, what did you say?"

"I said, there aren't any butterflies."

Zayn stares at me, trying hard to keep a straight face. He probably thinks I'm ridiculous.

"Zayn, I know, this sounds stupid and hopelessly romantic, but if I really like a boy, I get butterflies."

"Harry. We don't live in a fairy tale. I went on a date with a boy some days ago and I didn't feel any butterflies, either, but later we fucked and I got to top so it was pretty cool even without butterflies. Fuck, I might didn't have any butterflies in my stomach, but my cock was full of them. Honestly, it was so good."

"But my goal isn't to fuck someone. And please don't tell me every detail about your sex life. My goal is to be loved and to be in love. Are you still in touch with that boy?"

"We only met a week ago. But he was very hot, you know? That's why we rushed a little. I would date him if he'd ask me. People think that I'm a player, but I can be very loyal. Me and my first girlfriend dated for nearly a year."

"What's his name?"

"Whose name?"

"The name of the boy you fucked, silly."

Zayn doesn't reply. He stares at his feet.

"You don't remember it, right?"

He definitely doesn't.

"See. Your goal is another than mine", I conclude.

"Alright. Maybe you're right. But I don't think you need the butterflies, yeah? Maybe they'll show up later. Maybe you guys will start to date, and you only feel affection towards him. Then you start to like or to love him, and that's when the butterflies show up."

"Yes, maybe..."

"I'm sure. Back then, when you liked Louis, did you feel butterflies?"

"Hell, yes. All the time."

"Oh." I see how his brains works. I know what he's about to say; that Lucas isn't the right person, that Louis is better for me, that I shouldn't go on the date. But I don't want to hear those things. It's my love life, not his' or my mother's.

"Don't say it", I say. He nods. "Alright. I'll stay quiet. One last question: who was the last person who made you feel those butterflies? And when was it?"

Wow, that's a difficult question. I don't remember it very well. I feel like it has been quite recently... but I'm not sure.

"I don't know", I say. And at that moment, the doorbell rings.

Lucas.