BADDIE \ Z.M

23.

I hate Monday's so much! I always woke up before Zayn so I just came out from the shower and I've put on my clothes. I just put on a pair of grey sweats and a baggy shirt with some tumblr quote on it. I put my hair up in a bun and i'm done! I told Zayn to wake up and went down to the kitchen I started to eat some milk and cereal Zayn joined me and I just looked down at my almost finished cereal. I'm just in this kind of mood cause of two things 1. Blood is dripping out from my vagina!
2. Today was the day the police found my mom dead in our house.
I remembered it like it was yesterday.. I was at my friend Alice house for a sleepover when I got the call. I shake my head trying to think of something else but that. I throw the rest of my cereal away and put on my shoes & jacket when i see Zayn following me. When he try to kiss me i turn my head away so he kiss My cheek. I Can se the sad face he has but i just can't help how i feel right now. We walked out to his car and i sat down looking out the window of the passengers seat and just wait till we get to school. I leave the car and walk fast away from Zayn not wanting him to know cause I can't really lie to him and I don't want his sympathy. It was my fault she died. We had a fight that's the reason why she killed her self. No one know why and I didn't tell anyone cause everyone would hate me the last words I told her was that I hated her and that she should go and live with her stupid ass boyfriend. I left and her boyfriend came home to our house and when he left she was found dead later. My dad likes to tell me that he cut her up in pieces just to hurt me but I know that I was the reason she died and I will never forgive my self for that. I walked to my locker and took out my things I saw Taleah smiling at me and making her way over I just plugged in my earphones and walked past her fast I have history now and I knew that Zayn switched so he know has most of his classes with me. I walked in late and to My surprise Zayn was already there. I sat down in the front and wrote down some stuff that the teacher said. When we had to answer some questions I plugged my earphones in and started to play some music. I played my mom's spotify list and our song came on. I smiled remembering when we used to cook togheter and dance along to it. I remembered when she used to run her hands trough my hair while I had my head on her lap and talked about the bad thing that happened that day and she would listen and give me the best advice ever. My Eye's started to water but i held the tears back. The bell rang and I hurried to next class. I sat down in math class and Taleah sat down beside me. She didn't say anything weird? We had a test and i had so much on my mind so when the bell rang I had only wrote my name on the left corner of the paper. I gave my teacher the paper and went out fast. I made my way to the library. I know that no one will expect me to come here so i sat down and called a few family members in Africa. I had 1 lesson then lunch so I had to say goodbye to them and i sent some money by an app on the phone. I made my way to class and before I know it the bell rang. I made my way to the locker and put in my things in there then made my way to the cafeteria. Once I got in there I saw Taleah sitting by Harry at Zayn's table. Jade and her group of friends didn't sit there anymore. She waived at me and motioned for me to sit down there. Zayn did the same but I just went the other way and got my food then sat down far away from them. I could se Taleah talking to Zayn with an concerned face.
"Look at her gosh if my mother died and my dad treated me like that I would kill my self" I heard some girl say to her friend. Normally I would shut her mouth with some sassy talking or with my fist but I just let a tear fall. The tears just started to fall and I knew that I had to get out of here. I walked out of there fast and i knew that people where starring. I walked before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw the principal.
"Ms.Ivy may I talk to you" I wiped my tears and walked into his office he gave me a tissue and I wiped my tears
"So I got an anonymous tip.. You know Ms.Ivy if you have a hard time at home or just in general"
"No I don't" I answered a little to quick
" *sighs* Ms.Ivy okey does you dad hit you? We have seen bruises and you can't fight that much to have them so often we have no choice the to call the police on him"
"NO!! you know what he doesn't and why can't people like you stay out of my life I don't need your help I just need you to stay away from me and leave me alone! Get that?! So fuck you" I said and left but slammed the door shut before I went to the empty hall and leaned against the lockers I slide down and just cried. I felt someone pick me up and wrap their arms around me. I know that it is Zayn so I hugged back and I felt him kiss me on the top of my head. We pulled away and he wiped my tears before he held My hand and we walked out of school to his car. He drove away to his flat and once we got there we walked up the stairs and then we made it to the door. I waited for Zayn to open the door. When he did i walked in and took of my shoes and jacket. I sat down in the living room on the sofa. I hugged my knees and just cried and kept repeating sorry. Just like last time. The day she died I kept crying and saying sorry. It was all my fault. I felt Zayn sit down beside me and he held me close to him.
"It was all my fault"
"What was all your fault?" He said with a concerned face
"That my mother isn't here right now that she's dead I'm so stupid" he looked at me with a chock but with sympathy
" If I didn't have that stupid fight with her then maybe she would be here right now"
"What happened?" He asked slowly
"I came home late one day and my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with the people that I did.. I-I got mad and started shouting at her telling her how much I hate her and that she just haft to ruin everything.. I don't know why got so mad over such a little thing.. I knew that my mom was depressed due her working so hard and a lot of family problems but I just kept hitting her with my words and I told her to fuck of and go and get fucked and used by one of her never staying boyfriends then I left. One my way out I met her new boyfriend and I told him to fuck of then I ran home to my friend... Later that night I got a call saying that they found my mom dead in her bedroom.. They weren't sure if it was suicide or murder but I said that I didn't want to know cause I know that it was my fault that she killed her self" I slowly looked up and looked Zayn in the eyes after telling him
"Aicha it wasn't your fault.. Everyone have fights with their parents believe me I've had a lot with my mom.. I don't think that your mom would kill her self cause of that. It's not healthy to do what your doing blaming yourself like this" he said and kissed my forehead then started to sing some song that I've never heard.
"Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me..." Afte he was done I starred at him in chock wow he's amazing omg
"Was it that bad?"
"Omg no Zayn no your amazing omg who wrote that song anyways.. You haft to sing more often"
"Thanks ehm I did about 2 years ago but you can't tell anyone that I sing..I like to keep it to my self"
"Okey but only if you sing to me more often"
"Haha okey" he said and gave me a kiss. It was sweet and short but it lingered for like ages. We both laid down on the couch and we spooned each other we both slowly fell asleep and the last words I heard before I fell asleep was.
"I love you Aicha Diana Ivy"