BADDIE \ Z.M

9.

A/N: she's gonna think about selfharm and stuff so if it's gonna bother you dont read the part that Will have a *** before and after

Okay so it have been days since the kiss and Zayn haven't even talked to me or anything he got my number and i got his and he haven't text me and im freaking out right now. What if he thought that i was a horrible kisser or that he regret it?! Okay Aicha stop thinking so much or your head will explode.

"AICHA YOU SLUT GIVE ME SOME MORE BEER" My BELOVED father screamed from downstairs,

"WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG TIME? ARE YOU LEGS HURTING FROM ALL THE BOYS YOU SLEPT WITH HAHAH" he said while laughing

i slowly walked down the stairs and got the beer from the fridge, i walked into the livingroom and gave him his beer and walked up as fast as i could,

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I have very big bruises on my wrists and my stomach but suprisly none on my face so i don't haft to weare alot of makeup, okay so right now i'm walking to school and i feel lonly Taleah isn't feeling well so i'm all alone and as my father said i can't have friends so i'm kind of happy that she isn't here so i don't haft to ignore her an- Ow who the fuck is holding into my wrist

Hi!

"ehm.. hey Zayn", i say a little quiet cause i'm in so much pain right now. why can'the just let o of my wrist.

"ehm.. Zayn can you let go of my wrist?".

"why?" He says with a knowing look

"Cause it hurts".. I say almost whispering

"what?? I can't hear you" .

" CAUSE IT FUCKING HURTS OKAY?!"

And with that i walked away, why was he being so mean, i mean like he knows why it hurts just the first reason not the second one and i plan on keeping it that way, I'm starting to regret that i kissed him, I really need a friend right now like Taleah but i can't talk to her or my dad will kill her and i don't want that to happend, she's my first real best friend. My "friends" at my old school only use me for money, yeah you heard it right my Mom was kind of rich but i never liked it cause she always worked hard she was a workaholic,In my whole life i've been used for things,Like guys going out with me just for sex and all that kind of stuff but i never "gave" myself to them i think your first time should be speciall not in the bathroom at KFC,But i have a feeling that Taleah like me for me not my Money and all that, Yeah and you are probaly wondering why i don't use it and buy me a house far away from my dad, well when my dad found out that i got my moms money after she died he took it all,  *********but I'm proud of my self cause i'be been clean  for 5 weeks now and I'm planning on keeping it that way. You can barley see the scares on my lyft arm i never cut on my right one, i always made a rule that i had to Wait 2 weeks before i could cut again then it would be harder to find out, i made about 3-6 each time and I'm not gina lie it feels so good when your doing it but you'll regret it later.*****

I walked to my locker and put my things inside it and went to Enlish class.

I don't know anyone in this class and i think it's quite good for at the moment cause then i don't haft to ignore anyone or something like that but i still feel bad. Taleah have been texting me like a hundred times and Niall to SHIT NIALL IS HERE TODAY, I really like him ( as a friend) and he and Taleah are my first real friends like since ever and i don't wanna ignore them and i promised to go to the doctors apointment tomorrow with her. Wait? what day is it today?!

"Ehm what day is it today?" i ask a girl beside me

"It's Thursday" she sais

" Thanks"

I Can actually go with her tomorrow cause today is the day in the week when my dad haft to go back to manchester, i really don't know why,

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