Transgender » Lashton AU

35: what if

May 31st, 2014

«Ashton»

"Ash!" Luke yelled for me.

I walked over to him in the living room.

"It's been almost 3 months since I last got my period and normally it'll only be like a week to a month late. Never 2 months. I'm worried." he told me.

I went over, sat down, and hugged him.

"Don't worry. Maybe it's just being more irregular than it seems. If it doesn't come for another month we'll go to a doctor." I kissed his head and held him.

He nodded.

After a few minutes I felt his breathing go more stable and saw he fell asleep.

The front door opened and Jack came in with Indiana.

"Ashy!" Indiana yelled.

"Be quiet. Uncle Luke is sleeping." I whispered. She nodded and climbed onto my lap.

She curled up on my lap, her head on Luke's.

"Awe you three are adorable." Jack said quietly.

I chuckled slightly and looked over at Luke.

What if he is pregnant?

But I thought we used protection?

It might've broke.

Maybe you shouldn't of even had sex.

I picked up indiana, placed her back on the couch, and ran upstairs and into the bathroom.

I haven't had a panic attack in years.

I sat against the door and cried.

For what felt like years I sat in the bathroom.

I finally stood up and went over to the cabinet.

I opened the cabinet and grabbed the anti depressants.

I went out into the room quickly grabbing a pen and paper.

I went back into the bathroom and locked the door.

I quickly scribbled on the paper before writing.

'I'm sorry. So so sorry. Luke, please don't hurt yourself over me. Find someone who makes you happy. Please. And if you are pregnant, take care of our child. And don't ever let go of them. Because it'll be what's left of me. Jack and Celeste, thank you for giving me a place to go when I didn't have one. Indiana, you probably won't really know what happened to me, but know I'll be happy, in a better place.

Life's a bitch, I quit.

love,
Ashton Fletcher Irwin.'

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yOu all wAnT tO kiLl mE I bEt iM soRry

(Except the fact this is a day early and I'll still have an update for tomorrow woo)