Transgender » Lashton AU

37: cuddling himself

June 4th, 2014

«Ashton»

Today Luke was starting his test prep for finals. There really isn't a lot to say about that. Wow.

He wasn't going to do anything other than do the doctor program at the hospital for a year then get into medical school to be a therapist.

I got out of the hospital yesterday, and Jack locked all the medicine cabinets. Probably was a good idea.

I wasn't prescribed any antidepressants since in the past they didn't work.

Luke hasn't cut since that day in the school bathroom which is good.

It's just, Luke seems so off.

He keeps complaining about not getting his period because obviously he doesn't want to be pregnant. What I would be confused about is, we used protection. The only way that would happen is if it was broken and we didn't notice. Which is probably what happened.

I sat on my bed, knees brought to my chest. My arms hugging my legs like my life depended on it.

My wrist was itching like crazy, but I won't do it. It's the last thing I want to do right now. I looked at the time and Luke should be home any minute.

I heard the door slam shut and Luke call out for someone.

I stood up and went downstairs.

"Hi Ash." He plopped down on the couch.

"Hey." I sat down next to him.

"Finals suck ass." He said.

"I know babe. But you can't opt out. So do your absolute best. If not for you, for me." I said.

He nodded and put his head in my lap, signaling he just wants to sleep. I ran my fingers through his hair, something that makes him fall asleep so easily. Luke was practically cuddling himself to sleep, so I could easily pick him up and bring him upstairs. He was actually a lot lighter than you would think, considering he used to have a few eating disorders.

I placed him on the bed before laying next to him. He used to have this penguin he would cuddle every night to fall asleep, if he doesn't have it he'd cuddle himself to sleep. But I was the penguin now.

I didn't realize how tired I was until I had Luke cuddled up to me, his warm breath on me next.

God he's beautiful.

I felt myself falling asleep to the silence.

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