Vampire Heart

Chapter 12

I did not realise I had spurred Snih down a familiar path until I reached the clearing among the firs north of the castle. Undoubtedly sensing I had left without him, Kol caught up with me soon and perched himself high in the trees, perfectly concealed. In the clearing, traces of the Gypsies’ camp site were still visible, their tent and belongings untouched. I reined in my horse and dismounted. It had snowed overnight and the Gypsies blood was covered under a new white layer. It was all for the better, I thought. The bloodshed at the castle had been enough to give anyone nightmares for a lifetime.
My nightmares were not of blood and corpses, however, but of loneliness and emptiness instead. Damian had rejected me brutally. The fact that he had done so under the influence of Alzbeta’s magic was poor consolation.
I walked slowly to the log where I had untied myself and sat down on it, tears prickling my throat. Marry Jan Turek, Damian had said, as if it were a child’s play, something temporary. Have faith in us, he had said too. How could I? He had turned from me without a backward glance.
I began crying in earnest, weak and miserable.
‘Irena.’
Jan’s voice startled me, making me jump. I looked up and saw him entering the clearing on his chestnut mount. The horse cantered to a stop next to Snih, and Jan sprang down from the saddle. He walked towards me, white hair unloose and fluttering in the gentle wind, brown eyes piercing and determined. Quickly wiping my tears, I rose to my feet, apprehensive to face him.
‘How did you know where to find me?’ I muttered, trying to ignore the rapid beating of my heart.
‘It wasn’t very difficult.’
Jan glanced at the tracks my horse had left in the fresh snow. I scoffed, feeling stupid.
‘And of course you were followed,’ he added, showing me two guards on the far side of the clearing, made one with the trees.
I opened my mouth to protest, but once more, Jan was quicker.
‘You are Bohemia’s heir, Irena. Please grasp that,’ he sighed tiredly. ‘Didn’t you say so yourself? There has been too much tragedy already, enough violence, enough death. You must assume the position you were born into and raised for. You are your people’s  beacon of hope, so therefore you must reign. But in order to do that, you must marry, as the law requires.’
He had spoken the last sentences heatedly, his sunken cheeks acquiring a faint redness.
‘No, Jan,’ I shook my head. ‘As I told the Council, I am prepared to ascend to the throne, but I shall do so without marrying.’
‘Why do you keep refusing?’ he burst, his patience running out. ‘Do you hate me so much?’
Jan’s question struck a guilty chord and I felt myself flush.
‘N-no, of course not. Why would I hate you?’ I mumbled, averting my eyes.
I stepped to the side, eager for space. Jan did not allow it and grabbed my elbow, making me turn back to him. At my indignant glare, he released me immediately.
‘You hate me because I used to love her,’ he whispered, his eyes burning. ‘And you hate me because my very presence reminds you of him.’
I swallowed thickly, refusing to admit, even to myself, that he was essentially right.
‘I  cannot hate you, Jan,’ I stressed, my heart hammering ever faster. ‘I simply don’t understand why you persist in the matter of my marriage, especially since I know you don't wish to marry me either.’
‘Your father—‘
‘Yes, I know, my father named you my official betrothed,’ I cut him impatiently, rolling my eyes. ‘But as I recall, you were as enthused about it as I was, even then. Why should we keep at this? Why can't the law be changed?’
Jan looked away, his whole body tensed.
‘The law cannot be changed without a majority of votes at the Council Table,’ he muttered strained. ‘You heard the other members. They cannot even conceive of change.’
‘But you could?’ I whispered, the faintest trace of hope blooming.
His eyes flew back to me and he bit his lips, nodding slowly.
‘If you really wish it...yes, I suppose I could.’
I smiled selfishly.
‘Then, will you please speak to them at the next meeting?’
Jan looked down at his boots and sighed.
‘I can’t promise anything, Irena, but I will try to present your case in all objectivity.’
In sudden effusion of sentiment, I gripped his trembling hand and squeezed tightly.
‘Thank you. It’s more than I could hope for anyway.’
He attempted half a smile, his gloved fingers stroking my palm for a fraction.
‘Shall we go back, or do you wish to continue your ride?’ he asked lightly.
My eyes wandered around the clearing for a long moment, lingering on a particular spot that had been strewn with Gypsy blood. Jan followed my gaze curiously.
‘Is this where they brought you?’ he asked softly.
I nodded grimly.
‘They threw me down in the snow with my arms and legs bound for more than an hour. Just over there.’
Jan gnashed his teeth, his hands balling into fists at his sides.
‘I managed to free myself and run, but I didn’t make it very far before they caught up with me,’ I whispered almost inaudibly. ‘They half dragged, half pushed me back...threw me down again, hit me, tore my dress and lifted up my skirts.’
Jan’s face blanched in complete horror at my words.
‘Then, Damian arrived and everything stopped.’
Jan’s eyes tightened shut for a moment.
‘He killed them.’
‘Yes.’
Jan cleared his voice disgruntled.
'Nothing but what the bastards deserved.'
After another short moment, he went on.
‘Irena, you told me Lord Halvard took you to the hunting lodge that night.’
‘Yes, we both needed a respite.’
‘So the two of you spent the night together?’
‘Well, yes, I told you. He wanted to come back, but I didn’t let him—‘
I stopped, finally realising what he was implying.
‘I can’t believe you!’ I gushed, and stomped back to my horse, affronted.
Jan sprinted after me and put one hand on the horse’s bridle to prevent me from mounting. From somewhere up in the firs, Kol gave an indignant cawing.
‘I’m sorry if you are offended, Irena, it was not my intention,’ Jan said quickly, his expression deeply troubled. ‘But surely you must realise how important your integrity is, especially now, since you’ve made your marriage refusal known to everyone.’
I glared at him, furious at his impertinence.
‘How dare you even imply—‘
‘Because the risk is greater, that’s why,’ he cut me.
‘Risk, what risk?’ I shrilled angrily. ‘Why should it be anyone’s business if I am a virgin or not?’
‘Because you are Bohemia’s future Queen, that’s why,’ Jan answered, not very calm either.
‘What does ruling Bohemia have to do with my chastity status? Does it influence my decision-making? Does it make me a worse Queen?’
‘No, but it certainly adds to—‘
‘To what, Jan? Be more specific.’
‘To your respectability and clean royal status!’ he burst, out if patience. ‘Whoever heard of a promiscuous Queen? That would be preposterous--unacceptable.’
I looked at him sideways and grinned bitterly.
‘I’m supposing Alzbeta was a saint, then, was she?’ I scoffed, my voice heavy with accusation.
Jan went silent, all colour draining from his cheeks.
‘Oh yes, I know what you’re going to say. Alzbeta was married to my father for a number of years before her interest began to stray. But do you honestly believe she came to Bohemia without blemish?’
He averted his eyes, his expression deeply wounded.
‘I wouldn’t know that, Princess,’ he muttered grudgingly. ‘You should have asked your father.’
‘No, Jan, I shouldn’t. It was of no importance to me, indeed of no consequence whatsoever. Alzbeta has always been a horrible person, before and after losing her...integrity, as you put it.’
‘Perhaps you are right,’ he shrugged, visibly tired of arguing. ‘I apologise for raising this private matter and offending you. It was not intentionally done.’
‘I doubt in it, but even so, I accept your apology.’
I turned once again to my horse, and he gripped my waist to help me up on the saddle. My heart was hammering fast, but I blamed our heated dispute for it.
The mounts carried us back to Karlstejn at a quick trot, the guards following closely. The ride was done in heavy, grudging silence, both of us miserable and sulking.
We were entering the castle through its great oak front doors, and Jan stopped me with an anxious look in his dark eyes.
‘Irena, believe me when I say I have your best interest at heart. Alas, I cannot say the same about the members of the Council, with very few exceptions. We must exercise great caution, especially since time is not on our side.’
‘Yes, Jan, I am very much aware of that.’
‘Good. Then you can also imagine how difficult it will be for us to make all of them change their opinion regarding your marriage. Even if something has happened between you and Halvard, you mustn’t speak of it to anyone else. Not even your faithful maid must learn of it, do you understand?’
‘Yes, Jan, I understand.’
Out of nowhere it seemed, Kol the raven speared the air in the entrance hall, making a few passing maids gasp in fright, and finally settled in a flurry of wings on my shoulder. Jan frowned displeased.
‘You should send that bird away. The castle is no place for it.’
I glanced at Kol and stroked one hand on his beautiful black feathers.
‘I tried. He won’t leave.’
I turned and headed to the central staircase.
‘He’s really not coming back this time, you know,’ I heard Jan mutter spitefully.
I closed my eyes in pain.
‘Yes, Jan, I know.’
Sensing his glare still on me, I stopped and turned reluctantly.
‘And no, Jan, nothing happened at the lodge. You may rest assured I am still a virgin.’
I might have been mistaken, but I could swear I heard him sigh in relief.
‘That is indeed happy news. Good night, Irena.’