Vampire Heart

Chapter 21

Alzbeta, Henri and I moved into Jan Turek's home as soon as I returned with the key. Alzbeta was particularly thrilled to change the dreary emptiness of Bezdez with comfortable furniture and whole walls. Of course it was all dusty and mouldy and uninhabited, but we brought in help from Kasperk village and in a week, our new home was sparkling with cleanliness.
Alzbeta took especially great pleasure in renovating the place. She had new drapes and tapestries ordered all the way from the capital, new Persian carpets and brand new mahogany furniture as well. Even though neither of us slept, we all agreed we wanted large comfortable four-poster beds in our respective chambers. Henri was adamant about that aspect and I had a clear notion as to why.
I was only by half sharing in my companions’ enthusiasm. Of course I was glad to see Alzbeta so happy, so carefree and young. She had never been like this in her human years, in her past oppressed existence. Now at last she had the opportunity to live her life as she pleased. No mirror to rule her, no silly ambitions, no heir-delivering pressure.
I began feeling less guilty for having turned her, even surprised myself watching her swirl around the new place, taking in her brightness and freshness. She was truly a vision.
Henri entered the library just then and saw me. I was sorting through the wide collection of books and arranging them neatly on the shelves. He was followed by two workers carrying his own heavy boxes with books which he had brought from the Orient.
He noticed me standing still and gazing at Alzbeta. She was immersed in hanging a new tapestry on the opposite wall, something she had chosen herself. It was an intricate drawing of a life tree, above which the sun and moon met in an embrace. Henri chuckled at my smitten expression. I glared at him and said nothing, picking up another book and wiping the covers carefully.
‘I do believe you are experiencing new emotions, my friend,’ he laughed softly. ‘Should I be concerned?’
I smiled half a smile.
‘No. She is yours, Henri. Can’t you feel how she feels already?’
Henri glanced at her and beamed fondly. In the little time they had known each other, Alzbeta and Henri had formed quite a strong bond. I felt relief but also envy. I had had what they had and was forced to give it up.
‘Yes, I know how she feels for me, Damian,’ he spoke softly, joining me up on the heavy shelves. ‘But you should know her feelings for you haven’t been entirely replaced.’
‘They don’t need to as long as she is happy.’
Henri touched my shoulder gently and his eyes gazed deep and warm into mine.
‘And of course you know what I still feel for you, don’t you?’
I bit my lips, caught off guard. Henri chuckled softly, the red tendrils of his passion sneaking into my heart as before.
‘Henri…don’t,’ I murmured.
He chuckled again.
‘You can’t escape me forever, Damian.’
Vulnerable, my walls had not lifted in time, and now I felt myself in danger. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, summoning Irena’s scent from deep within me, her sweet taste. The next moment, I exhaled in relief, wall safe back in place.
‘Henri, please. Alzbeta—’
My friend patted my arm as brotherly as he could manage and grinned mischievously.
‘She is more than willing to partake. But all in good time. When you’re ready, Damian, let me know.’
I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed like the devil he was. Springing down from the ladder, he sauntered across the room to Alzbeta and embraced her. She laughed and threw her arms around his neck. They kissed deeply and hungrily.
Why did it pain me to look at them? It was not jealousy, was it? I did not want to join them, did I? I was too old for that sort of thing anyway, I said to myself and returned to my books.
During the following month, Henri and Alzbeta became inseparable. They were quite in love with each other and I knew for a fact that the depth of their feelings was sincere. I could not be happier for both of them. At last, Alzbeta, the once Evil Queen, had found honest affection; while Henri, even if two centuries older than her, seemed to have also found his mate. At the same time, I could still feel a certain restlessness about him, an unfulfilled yearning.
Even though more rarely, I would still catch him throwing me lingering, almost sad glances. But I was always careful to have my walls lifted against the protruding tentacles of his invitation. He had never been my mate—my brother, my friend, yes—but never more than that. Except once.
One evening, I was sitting on the windowsill, gazing at the deeply-hued sky of the summer sunset without seeing it, and lazily swirling red wine in a glass. I was all alone. Henri and Alzbeta had taken the carriage earlier that day to go into town and buy some more frivolous things which she considered essential for our newly-restored home.
‘Be good while we’re gone, yes?’ Alzbeta said with a smile and kissed my cheek softly. ‘What shall we bring you?’
I knew she meant whom. I scoffed.
‘I don't need anything. You two go and enjoy yourselves—outside of our borders,’ I stressed the word “outside.”
Alzbeta rolled her eyes and Henri joined her, taking her hand in his.
‘Oh, stop being such a killjoy, will you?’ he groaned.
‘I mean it, Henri. No hunting in Bohemia.’
He sprang to me and kissed my other cheek.
‘Fine, we promise. No hunting in Bohemia,’ he murmured in my ear, his purple-blue eyes twinkling.
‘Good.’
His hand trailed down my neck and found the silver chain that held the medallion I had retrieved from Turek.
‘Haven’t you got rid of this thing yet?’ Henri muttered displeased. ‘I don’t like what it does to your moods. Ma cherie, you said you would tell him.’
Alzbeta rolled her eyes again and exhaled sharply.
‘I told him,’ she huffed. ‘He didn't listen.’
‘That tiny piece of mirror is powerless against me, you know it. You said so too, Alzbeta.’
‘I did, but Henri is also right. It’s been altering your moods for the worse. If you don’t wish to destroy it yet, fine, but stop wearing it at least.'
Alzbeta’s voice had turned low and serious. Henri walked back beside her and they waved and left.
So now I sat alone, bored and cynical of life, secretly anxious for my companions’ return. At the very least, with them around, I did not have to keep fighting the pain on my own.
They were usually careful in my presence, but that did not mean I could not hear them. Free of inhibitions in her vampire nature, Alzbeta was quite loud. Their hours of passion had more than once ended in broken bed frames and torn tapestries. Hence the perpetual need to keep acquiring new ones. Such waste.
This sunset was never-ending and my loneliness was growing. I swallowed the last of my wine and sprang down from the windowsill. My fingers quickly found the ill-fated medallion and wrenched it off from around my neck. The first impulse was to throw it far into the forest, but I stopped at the last moment, reconsidering.
I studied it closy and asked myself why I was still keeping it. It was not to remind me of Irena because she was ever-present in me, in my very blood. No. It was the other reason, the one I barely dared to admit to myself. This last slice of mirror represented the only link I had to my past, the perpetual thorn of pain and guilt that could never be removed from my side. I wore it to self-flagellate, to remember. My brothers had betrayed me. My brothers had had our father poisoned and then had me killed too. Yet…I missed them. I missed my youngest most of all. Agnar.
I would keep the penance-pendant, I decided. I went upstairs to my chamber and hid the thing inside a small wooden box, which I then locked with a key. I put the key inside the crack in the wall behind a painting of an angry sea and a sinking ship.
The sun had finally set while I had been thus busy hiding my piece of willing burden. But Alzbeta was right. I was feeling better without it around my neck and an instant thirst hit me. I needed blood. So I ran straight into the forest and hunted and fed as I had not done in a long time.
It was midnight when I returned home. The lights were lit, which meant Henri and Alzbeta had also come back. I could not believe how glad I felt at the thought of seeing them again. I sauntered up the stairs to the library, but the voices were coming from Alzbeta’s chamber, one storey higher. Also, there was a stranger’s scent in the house, a human male’s. His heartbeat was audible through the walls and even above the noises and the moans.
I reached the door. Of course it had been left ajar. I looked inside. On the wide bed, three naked bodies were grinding and moving. Alzbeta was lying on her back, Henri above her, behind him, the human male. The three of them were thrusting in unison, in the same rhythm, their scents mingling, their breaths steaming the already warm chamber.
Henri felt me. He turned his head at me, as much as he could from the position he was in, his eye flashing red, his grin openly inviting.
‘Come,’ he breathed at me.
Alzbeta opened her misty eyes and smiled at me languidly, her hair fanning out above her, her white round flesh jolting up and down.
'Come join us, Damian,' she purred.
I could not answer. I was half-schocked, half-mesmerized by the game. The human man was in the prime of his youth, very well-built, muscles working and glistening with sweat. He made Henri groan loudly with his thrusts, but I knew my friend well enough to recognize a fake tone of voice.
Henri glanced over his shoulder at me once again and his back arched. I felt my walls crumbling down under the intensity of his gaze. Our eyes locked and he pulled me in. His moaning was no longer fake and even Alzbeta's cries intesified.
Instantly, my mind opened for him and Henri took hold of me. I had not moved from my spot behind the door and yet, I saw myself walk into the chamber, my clothes gone. I climbed onto the bed and felt the mattress give way under my weight. How was I achieving this?  I was not there with them, but it felt as if I was. My senses were no longer my own. I had never known Henri to possess such capabilities before, and I found I could not regain control.
‘Don’t fight it, Damian,’ he whispered. ‘You want this.’
‘No—’
But still I saw myself joining them on the bed. Alzbeta moved from under Henri and reached around to the human male. Now I could see his features clearly and something struck inside of me, almost throwing me out. Henri tightened his hold on me and Alzbeta’s trace became palpable. So that was how they were doing this. In all my many years, I had not been overpowered in such an absolute way.
The human was young, and despite his heavy frame, his features were fine and fair. His hair flowed long and ashen-blond, almost white where the candlelight touched it. His jaw was square and tight, his eyes were small and very blue. They were rolling back in his head now as Alzbeta was sinking her little fangs into his throat. Blood gushed into her mouth and with the fresh warm infusion, her magical binding strengthened around me. But even so, I felt ill at the image that so resembled my brother.
Henri shifted close beside me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his naked chest.
‘No, sweet one, don’t think about it now. Don’t let it take you away from us,’ he murmured in my ear, his lips tracing my cheek and finding my mouth.
His kiss was hungry and desperate, pulling me in a whirlwind, making me return it. He was right, I did want this.
‘Remember last time?’ Henri breathed against my lips, his eyes searching into mine.
‘Yes,’ I answered, my hands taking his beautiful face and guiding it back to my mouth.
‘You wanted me then, didn’t you?’ Henri muttered, his hand reaching between my legs. ‘You want me now.’
‘Yes—’
‘We were so close then, so close. I’m dying to feel you inside me, Damian,’ he gushed, rubbing me harder. ‘Please…please!’
‘Henri—’
‘You can’t deny me forever. I’ll make you want me.’
Henri threw me a devilish grin and, with a red flash in his eyes, bent his head low over me, his hand working at the same time. My eyes closed and I let out an involuntary groan. But as soon as the pleasure spiked, guilt rose with it in equal measure. My body grew cold and my mind was clear all of a sudden.
Henri’s mouth released me, his hand still trying to rekindle my desire, to no avail.
‘No, Damian, don’t pull yourself away, please! Beta--’
Alzbeta let the human male fall unconscious on the bed and attempted to throw the red haze of the trance around me again. This time, I was ready and simply lifted up my shield. As soon as I did it, my eyes opened and I found myself standing stiff and clothed in my spot behind the door.
'Don't go.'
Henri's eyes were gazing at me with so much longing and regret, I was almost tempted back. Then, Alzbeta sneaked her arms around his torso and pulled him to her, mouth hungry on him.
'Let him go, love,' she murmured. 'It's you and me now.'
'We could've had more,' Henri spoke in my head, so Alzbeta would not hear.
'I won't come between the two of you,' I answered him in the same way.
Alzbeta was already ignoring me, seeking her own pleasure. She pushed Henri down on his back and straddled him, impaling herself on him. He was also half lost into her, even though I could yet feel him prodding at my shield.
'We would've both taken you,' Henri whispered at me.
His hands cupped Alzbeta's generous cream-white breats, then he closed his eyes and really started to thrust hard.
The human lying senseless beside them was still alive. We would need to tread carefully from now on. I had warned them about such things before, had I not?
I stood still for another moment, watching them, debating whether to risk being drawn back into their trap or retrieving the mortal man. My fear was too strong. Henri and Alzbeta together possessed a power greater than I could ever suspect. So I forced myself to turn and leave. I chose to trust them not to drain the male completely. If they in turn chose blood over my trust, our friendship would be over.
I headed back into the library and poured myself a cup of wine full to the brim. I drank it all in one gulp and poured again. However much I drank, the memories that Henri's heated kisses had brought forth could not be muted out.
It was more than a hundred years since then, but the images came back vividly bright. Henri was the only male I had ever been drawn to. And not just physically. The affection we felt for one another, especially in the beginning, had been a burning flame. It frightened me. I had been first raised a rough Norseman, then became a devout Christian Knight. To feel attraction for another man should have repulsed me. And yet it did not.
Henry made me love him effortlessly and I cried and suffered when his youthful misadventures sent him away from me.
The night we parted we made love, or as close to love-making as we got before he had had to leave. I let him touch me, I let him stroke me and I reciprocated without inhibitions. But dawn was coming and his ever-daunting nemesis--a certain French Count, leader of the Catacomb Covenant with whom Henri still had a quarrel--had found our hiding place. They came in great numbers and Henri barely made it out alive. I helped him escape once again and he disappeared.
I was left behind to settle the score and make peace between their houses. But to this day, I hated that Count with a passion and was glad to leave Paris then in exchange for Italian lands.
Of course I could not tell this to Irena when she asked. Just as I could not tell her about my family. I had yet to make peace with those dark times of blood and death. They plagued me and tormented me worse than any conviction. That was why I enjoyed the company of my siblings now. Their very presence in this house meant that I could deafen the cries, that my ruptured heart could somewhat try and mend.
I smiled at hearing their loud moans and groans. The mortal's heartbeat was also audible which meant they had left him in peace. Good.
Then, another mortal man's heart grew loud. I jumped from my seat and looked outside on the deserted oak-rimmed pathway. A horseman. Jan Turek was paying us a visit.
I quickly unleashed the string of thought and warned Alzbeta and Henri in their bedchamber upstairs. I ran fast as a flash and stood on the path before him, the light from inside the house the only guide.
Jan reined in his horse and dismounted, his head half-hidden in the hood of the cloak.
'My Lord Turek.'
'My Lord Halvard,' he nodded stiffly. 'I'll take my horse to the stable, shall?'
'There is fresh hay and water,' I told him, and he mumbled a thanks.
Jan guided his mount on the gravelled path around the keep to the old stables. The only horse there was my companion Egil.
I waited in front of the doorway, my hearing straining to listen to Alzbeta and Henri. Their breathing had stilled and their voices were quiet. Alzbeta was telling Henri about Jan. She was as plagued by guilt and remorse as I was.
Just then, Jan walked back and we stood facing each other.
'So tell me, my Lord. What brings you here at this late hour?'
He glanced upwards, his eyes locking on Alzbeta's figure in the window.
'She's here, then?' he muttered.
'Yes. So is another friend of ours.'
'Like you?'
'Like us.'
Jan scoffed with a grimace of disgust.
'A house full of leeches. Delightful.'
I narrowed my eyes at him and crossed my arms over my chest.
'Yes, by way of your generosity, no less. Are you here to rescind your invitation, Jan?
'No. Although I'm quite tempted at the moment,' he said, his frown as deep as ever. 'I'm here because I have something I need to discuss with you.'
I nodded and stood to the side to let him enter. It was his house after all. He walked past me, his eyes watchful. I saw his gloomy expression acquire an unmistakable tint of curiosity as he was taking in the new refurbished details.
We crossed the hallway and entered the parlour. It was dark and cold inside, so I rushed and made a fire in the hearth. Jan followed my example and lit up a four-armed candlestick.
'I'm afraid the pantry is empty of food, but wine we have and plenty.'
'I'd welcome a glass, then.'
I nodded and poured red wine in two tall glasses, offering one to him.
Jan thanked me and drank deeply. For now, I only took a sip, my eyes studying his worried features, my ears listening to his wild heartbeat. He was obviously anxious.
'So tell me, Jan. How can I help you?' I asked directly.
His onyx-black eyes flashed up at me, surprised at my familiar tone. He emptied his glass and cleared his voice a few times, his hands raking his long white hair nervously. Still, he did not speak.
'Let us sit,' I gestured to the sofa and chairs before the fire.
Jan slumped himself on one of the winged chairs, his head in his hands. I was beginning to worry now, so I pulled the other chair near beside his and touched his arm. He did not jump at my touch, which further strengthened the thought that what bothered him had to do more with him than with me.
'Jan? Will you tell me what happened?'
His emotions were a havoc: fear, anger, disappointment and jealousy. Raw, wild jealousy. There was also great concern and impatience. But the ruling feeling of jealousy was consuming him like a beast. The vampire within.
He lifted his tired gaze at me then nodded at his empty glass.
'Pour me another and I'll tell you.'
I stood up and re-filled his glass to the brim, handing it to him. Jan drank it whole.
'Again?'
He simply nodded.
'This will do,' I grunted, offering him the third glass.
Jan drank again, but this time he only took the half. His eyes were misty and red.
I resumed my place on the chair, ready to listen to him.
'Irena wants to see you,' he finally said.
That was not exactly news.
'And you of course told her it's not possible.'
'Of course. But she is stubborn--'
I scoffed at that. Jan glared at me.
'She is stubborn and ready to forfeit the fate of the country with her stubbornness.'
'How so?'
'She says she'll agree to marry only after she sees you.'
We sat in silence for a few moments. I attempted to lighten the mood.
'In thay case, I'll have my portrait painted and sent to her.'
Jan stared at me as if I was an apparition.
'Did you not hear me? She wants to see you.'
I smiled gently.
'I heard you, Jan, I heard you. I was merely offering a solution.'
'If I'd known you'd mock me, I wouldn't have troubled myself to ride here tonight,' he grimaced. 'I thought I could reason with you. The last time we spoke you seemed quite... humane.'
I chuckled.
'I don't know if thanks are in order. But you're right, Jan. You and I should not quarrel. I apologize if I seemed disrespectful, it was not intentionally done.'
He grunted and shrugged, glancing away.
'So then, will you come?'
'Come where, Jan?'
His eyes flew back at me full of hatred.
'To Karlstejn, Damian, where else?'
It was my own turn to heave a deep sigh of helplessness and fill up my glass. We had finished a bottle of wine in less than half an hour. He had, rather.
If Jan had come here to tell me this, to ask me this, then things between him and Irena could not be going too well. But surely, he was not being in earnest. Jan had made it quite clear I was never again welcome at court. The entire nobility had made sure of that, they had passed a bloody edict about it. That I was perfectly capable of going there back and forth as I pleased was of course not a matter of debate. The fact that he was asking it now from me made it official however.
‘Tell me this, Jan. Does anyone else know of Irena’s wish?’
He shook his head.
‘So this is between the two of you.’
He glanced into the fire.
‘It was her only condition so that we could marry,’ he murmured.
A moment of silence followed.
‘And what would I say to her if I come?’
Jan felt the change in my voice and his eyes looked at me pleadingly. He bit his lips, not daring to utter the words. I spoke for him.
‘You want me to reject her again, don’t you.’
It was not a question. Jan breathed in hard.
‘Yes.’
‘She’ll know I’m lying. We were together almost every day for ten years. We pledged our hearts to each other. We tasted each other’s blood.’
Jan’s eyes flashed me a horrified look. He did not know about this detail and, even though he could not realise the true implications, he was perceptive enough to imagine such an act was profoundly bonding and intimate.
Jan closed his eyes.
‘She promised. She said she only needed to speak to you once.’
I scoffed.
‘And you believed her?’
‘Yes. Halvard, I am here now, throwing myself at your feet,’ he gritted, eyes still shut. ‘My heart and soul are in pieces for having to come and beg. You owe me this favour!’
He opened his eyes and they were gazing at me red and imploring. It made me feel pity for him. I raked my hands through my hair and exhaled defeated.
‘Fine. I’ll come. When do you want me?'
Jan stood up from the chair and paced to the window. The night was dark, no moon, no stars. He could only see his own reflection in the window pane.
'Tomorrow night. After the opening ball.'
I was surprised.
'Do you want me to make an appearance amidst all your guests?'
'Of course not. I said after.'
Jan turned around slowly and his tired gaze set on mine meaningfully. I understood him then and it shocked me the length that he would go to just to marry her.
'It would mean hurting her,' I said in a quiet growl.
'No more than how she's already been hurt.'
That had crossed the line.
Anger got the best of me. I felt my muscles contract and, in the next moment, I had crossed the chamber and grabbed Jan by the lapels of his tunic. I lifted him with one arm, pinning him to the wall, feeling my canines elongate.
‘Do not make an enemy of me, Turek,’ I growled in his face.
Jan’s hands were gripping mine, struggling to free himself.
‘Damian, please listen to me—’
‘I have listened! You are asking me to barge in—watch the two of you together—and do nothing?’
‘No, not do nothing,’ he breathed, his expression calm and grim despite the evident peril. ‘You must forsake her. Make her hate you.’
The growl in my chest rose and exploded in a resounding yell of powerlessness. I threw Turek on the floor, ignoring his grunt of pain.
‘I won’t do it!’ I shouted back. ‘I can’t!’
Rubbing his neck gingerly, Jan stood up to his feet, calm and in control.
‘Yes, you can, Damian,’ he croaked. ‘You’re the only one who can. The only one who can put a stop to this.’
With another cry, I rounded on him, making him stumble back a few paces.
‘Fool, you do not realize the danger, do you? I could kill you—I would hurt her!’
Jan kept his gaze steady on mine and shook his head.
‘You won’t,’ he said quietly. ‘You’re strong. Your love for her is strong enough.’
I scoffed and released him, trudging to the table and emptying the remainder of my wine. It tasted off. The anger and despair I felt were making me thirsty for blood. My head fell forward and I closed my eyes, breathing deeply through my nose, fighting to regain composure.
‘What you ask is madness, Jan,’ I whispered.
‘I know.’
‘Not to mention quite dangerous,’ Henri said from behind us.
Jan and I jumped and turned on the spot. Jan blanched instantly. Alzbeta and the Frenchman stood in the doorway, watching the scene. Of course they had heard it all.
Henri put on a vapid smile and pranced forward, stopping close beside me. Alzbeta lingered uncertainly.
‘So this is our benevolent patron Monsieur Turek, n’est-ce pas? Je suis le Marquis de Chaverny. Monsieur, c’est une vraie honeur.’
Henri held out his elegant hand, but Jan recoiled in disgust. He swiftly moved around us to the fireside chair and collected his cloak.
‘Absolutely charming,’ Henri chuckled, his low voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘Chérie, I do believe you’re in his Lordship’s way.’
Turek had stopped right in front of Alzbeta and they were now staring at each other wordlessly. I trusted her with my life, but I could also feel Jan’s volatile mood. He had kept himself ice-calm throughout my stormy outburst. Seeing her however had utterly shaken him. She did not fare better either.
‘Beta,’ I murmured, ‘let him pass.’
She jumped slightly at my call and hesitated. Her eyes looked down in mortification.
‘Jan—’
‘I won’t hear it,’ he hissed.
‘Beta!’
She listened this time and stepped lightly aside, rushing across the chamber to us. Turek glanced over his shoulder and said:
‘Tomorrow night, Halvard. I’ll be ready.’
He left without waiting for confirmation. He knew that I would do it.