Vampire Heart

Chapter 15

As we entered the courtyard, rain began in earnest and we hurried to the stables. First and foremost, our horses needed rest, food and shelter after the rough riding we had forced them to. Johanna appeared very tired and also sad. I could imagine she had not expected such insensitive treatment from her own relative. She accepted Captain Vasin’s help to dismount, but as soon as her feet touched the floor and he let go, her knees buckled, making her imminently sway on the spot.
Vasin was back by her side in a flash to support her. I panicked and took her cold hand in mine.
‘Johanna?’
She murmured something I could not understand, her eyelids fluttering with sleep. Her face was pallid-white, but when I felt her forehead there was no sign of fever. Obviously not intending to touch her in a more familiar way, Vasin looked at me with great concern.
‘Is she well?’ he asked in his deep voice.
I nodded and smiled.
‘She’s just tired. She’s not used to hard riding. Could you help me take her to her chamber?’
‘Certainly.’
The good captain scooped my maid in his arms and we headed out. Just then, two stable boys ran into the stables, laughing and shaking raindrops from their clothes. They stopped in their tracks as their eyes recognised us.
‘Your Majesty,’ they bowed.
I smiled and did my best to appear friendly.
‘We were just taking an early morning ride. Please see that our horses are watered and fed.’
‘Yes, your Majesty.’
Captain Vasin gave the two grooms a few more instructions then followed me outside. Her cheek resting against his chest, Johanna appeared to have fallen asleep. As though to prove that my suspicions were correct, the captain very carefully wrapped Johanna in her cloak to shelter her from the pouring rain.
Instantly, I felt a stab of jealousy—illogical, raw and absurd—of longing and pain. Damian used to do these gestures of attention and care for me. Over the years, he was the one to apply salve over the scissors cuts on my palms, over the many scratches and the blisters. He was the one that made certain I ate well and slept well. And yes, there had been countless occasions when he had pulled the hood over my head in the rain. Once, he had even removed his own cloak to add an extra layer of warmth for me. He would do these things, small expressions which I now knew surged from deep affection. Or had surged.
For him, I had left the castle in the middle of the night, like a thief, defying the Council’s warning and my own better judgement. I was risking everything for him, for us, and because I needed to know. A budding romance between a maidservant and a soldier would not reduce me to sobbing pieces.
Not yet.
The precipice of misery awaited me one step away, enticing me to plunge myself head forward. Oh, how I yearned to lose myself, to wail and wallow in the deepest darkest abyss.
Not yet.
“You may cry for your failure, just not yet. Wait until you’re alone at least.” I told myself. “Your pain can wait.”
We entered the castle and hurried along the ground floor corridors to the chambers reserved for the helping staff. Despite the early morning hour, there was already activity in the kitchens, and I knew I had little chance of not being recognised now. There was also the matter of not compromising Johanna by having her delivered to her bedchamber in the arms of the Captain of the royal guards no less.
I was still debating how better to address this delicate situation, when Providence chose to intervene in our favour for once. Carrying a chamber pot, Johanna’s mother Anika appeared from behind a door and stood right before us.
‘Your Majesty?’
Her eyes fell upon her daughter’s limp form. I seized the moment and gently touched Anika’s trembling arm before the contents of the chamber pot would spill.
‘Please, Anika, do not be afraid. Johanna is well, merely sleeping. She accompanied me to Kostvice this night. Will you please show the captain into her chamber.’
The mother now appeased, she urged us forward to the adjacent room, and Vasin gently deposited my maid’s slumbering figure upon her pallet.
‘Fear not, Majesty. I shall make a brew and have her attend to you in less than an hour,’ Anika offered over-diligently.
I lifted a hand and shook my head.
‘No need, please Anika. Let Johanna rest. I shall see her later tonight.’
‘As you wish, your Majesty.’
The mother joined her daughter inside and closed the door in her wake.
I gazed up at the Captain for a long moment, still unsure. He returned my gaze, his rough, chiselled features expressionless, a soldier awaiting orders.
‘Kindly escort me to my study, Captain.’
‘Yes, your Majesty.’
He bowed his head, allowing the accustomed two-pace distance between us. Now we were crossing the ground floor corridor and heading back to the central stairway. We met with maids and valets that were already hurrying to the kitchens to secure breakfast trays for their respective lords and ladies.
Dawn was growing into early morning and I had made it back to my castle deprived of both Damian’s medallion and his bird. In exchange, I had got the doubtful word of a cryptic soothsayer that had nothing of a promise at its core.
I entered the study and felt the cold and tiredness of the night overcome me. No, still not yet.
Inwardly steeling myself, I sank into one of the paired wingchairs in front of the empty fireplace and lifted my feet, curling up against the shivers. The rain was falling heavily, hitting the windowpane with loud patter.
Surprisingly receptive, Captain Vasin did not waste time and crouched at the hearth to start a fire.
‘Thank you for coming with us tonight, Viktor,’ I murmured, watching his hunched shoulder muscles work. ‘Your protection was truly valuable. As it is, I also must apologise for having taking you from your rest. If you wish, you may have the remainder of the day off.’
New fire crackling, the captain stood up straight.
‘Alas, I cannot, your Highness. I must see that the morning shift is completed; then, I must also attend to the contingent returning from Moravia.’
‘Oh. Was it today?’
‘General Vladik and his men are expected to arrive later this afternoon.’
I nodded and sighed again. What needed to be done, had to be done, tedious diplomatic meetings included. And speaking of duty…
‘If you would, Captain, go to my desk and open the first drawer.’
Captain Vasin followed my order promptly.
‘Collect the purse you see inside. It’s yours. You’ve earned it.’
When the pattering of the rain was everything I could hear for a long moment, I turned to look at him. The Captain of the guards was staring from the money at me and back, apparently deeply confused.
‘It is better payment than what you received for tracking my messengers to Prague.’
I could not hold back the tone of resentment. Instantly, Vasin’s features blanched and his proud stance sagged a little.
‘I…I humbly apologise, your Majesty,’ he murmured in his low voice. ‘I did what Lord Turek commanded. I didn’t know that—’
I waved one hand and shook my head.
‘It’s fine, Viktor. I know you were only obeying orders. In any case, I don’t think it matters anymore.’
Captain Vasin knelt before me, his features deeply remorseful.
‘His Lordship instructed that I should seek out and stop the scouts your Majesty had sent in search of our former Queen. He never mentioned Lord Halvard. Had I known—’
I reached out and put my hand on his arm.
‘No, Viktor,’ I closed my eyes and breathed slowly a few times. ‘You are not to blame. What’s more, you acted with bravery. Alzbeta slaughtered almost half of the residents of this castle. I know that Jakuv your brother-in-law was among them.’
At this, Viktor hung his head and a crease appeared between his bushy eyebrows.
‘My sister still mourns. The pain she endures is difficult to witness. I do my best to work hard and provide for both her and her two children.’
My heart ached along with Viktor’s sister.
‘Are you a family man yourself, Captain?’
‘No, my Lady. Until now, there hasn’t been occasion.’
‘It’s true. We live in difficult times and our recent history hasn’t been kind to our kingdom. Alzbeta was a monster. The evil she committed cannot ever be measured for forgiveness—she deserves none. But he…he did nothing wrong.’
Tears overflowed despite my better efforts. Viktor was gazing at me full of pity and compassion, biting his lips powerlessly. Rank and protocol prevented him from offering any comfort.
‘How can I help, my Lady?’ he murmured. ‘Lord Halvard was my commander when I was a young lad, barely able to hold a sword. He was a fair leader, just and caring. I never thought he could become—that he would ever—’
‘He is older than you can imagine,’ I scoffed and wiped the wetness from me face. ‘He comes from a long line of kings in the northern lands. He himself was King before his own brothers betrayed him. Once afflicted, he had no choice but to flee. For centuries he had no home before finally finding one here.’
‘And now he is forsaken.’
‘She tricked him. Alzbeta desired him and his powers for herself,’ I sniffled and gazed at the orange glow of the fire without seeing it. ‘I understand why he had to leave with her. I know he was ensorcelled. But I also know him. I know his heart and I know his power. I need to find him, Viktor.’
The Captain took my hand in his, forgetting all etiquette.
‘How can I help, my Queen?’ he asked again, full of zeal. ‘Say the word, and I’ll ride out to find him for you. Don’t trust that mad hag. I know she’s your maid’s relative, but still I don’t think—’
I shook my head again and smiled.
‘No, do not worry. Johanna’s great-grandmother is the last person I expect help from.’
‘Then, let me—’
‘No, Viktor.’
I stood up, making the captain rise with me.
‘I need you here. Your family needs you here.’
Captain Vasin's saddened features appeared almost comical.
‘But…Lord Halvard…you—you care for him, do you not?’
‘He is my love,’ I whispered, feeling my heart bleed with the words. ‘He told me to have faith and wait for him. It kills me to do so, but what other choice have I?’
‘Choose to send me!’
I smiled and wiped another furtive tear.
‘And where would you go?’
‘Where did you send the others?’
I shrugged and sighed.
‘Everywhere, but there were ten of them. You, Viktor, are one man and the valuable captain of my guards. So please stay here, care for your family and your men. And if, say, one night I may require your escort to some mad wisewoman’s cottage, saddle your horse and come with me then.’
Viktor’s thin lips pulled at the corners in a smile, but I could swear his eyes were blinking away moist.
‘I pledge myself to you, my Queen,’ he bowed, bringing his fist to his heart.
I also bowed my head in gratitude.
‘Thank you. Now please, go back to my desk and collect your reward. It is well-earned.’
He meant to protest anew, but I cut him off.
‘If not for yourself, then for your sister and the children.’
He was still wavering, so I stepped around him and grabbed the bag of coins myself, holding it out for him.
‘Please. It’s not good form to refuse a queen.’
Captain Vasin nodded and accepted the payment with a murmured thanks.
‘Lord Turek will ask me to account for this night’s unauthorized journey,’ he added with a frown. ‘We were seen.’
I bit my lips and paced slowly across the chamber to the tall windows. Outside, the rain was pouring in a deluge.
‘It was I who authorised it and you obeyed my orders. If he asks, you may tell him the truth. If he doesn’t, I will tell him anyway.’
‘My Lady--,’ Captain Vasin stalled, not knowing how delicately he could express himself. ‘His Lordship has your best interests at heart. He truly means well.’
I glanced back at him and attempted a smile.
‘I know that, Viktor. I am not heartless. Or at least, I endeavour not to be.’
‘You are never heartless, my Queen. Your men are inspired to serve you with devotion.’
His voice trembled slightly and I smiled, deeply touched.
‘In all humbleness, I shall strive to be worthy of such devotion.’
We gazed at each other as friends for a few long moments, until the morning church bell resounded above the sound of rain. I shook myself and smiled.
‘Our day has just begun. You may retire to your duties, Captain, and I to mine.’
‘Yes, My Lady. I am your Majesty’s servant.’
Viktor Vasin bowed again deeply and left the study quietly. Moments later, I followed him out in the corridor, heading with slow, swaying steps to my bedchamber. It was blessedly empty.
At last, I was alone.
I released my long-held breath of despair and the sobs finally cascaded out of me, loud and violent. Everything had been in vain. The night’s ride, my relinquishing of two priceless gifts—all for nothing. I did not even know why I was crying; all I knew was the pain. The red, smarting haze of scorching pain that filled my entire world. I tore out the strings of my travelling cloak and threw it on the floor with a shrill of fury and powerlessness.
This chamber was too small, too dark and too empty. This house was as red as my pain. So I wrenched open the windows and they hit the walls with a dangerous clatter. I did not care if they broke. I did not care if I broke—I was already broken.
I stood in front of the dark skies that poured their heavenly water over me. In minutes, I was drenched to the bone and I did not care. I undressed the trousers and the leather vest, throwing away the boots. I tore at the plaits in my hair and cried and raged with the rain and the wind outside. They were now inside the house and inside me. A flash of lightning, and the following crack of thunder was like whiplash over my raw skin.
More rain fell and my tears were made of rain. I crawled half-naked to the windowsill, the howling wind making my soaked shift and hair fly around wildly. If anyone had looked up, they would have seen a mad woman escaped from a madhouse, black hair whipping in the wind, white robes billowing torn by her own hands.
Was she the same woman who had stood speaking calm and composed with the captain of the guards mere moments before? Was she Bohemia’s heir? She was neither.
‘This what I am!’ I cried, my faded voice fading into the storm. ‘This is what you reduced me to. Damian. DAMIAN!’
The black clouds rolled above me and I lifted my arms to the sky, bringing in the storm, calling at it, bidding it enter. I closed my eyes and let the rain wash my grief away, wash my sins away. I did not even feel the cold. I felt strangely protected, almost healed. The steam of my breath melted into the water, caressing me like a lover, gently trickling from my eyelashes to my lips, down my neck and breasts. I opened my lips to the rain and tasted its kiss, wet and full of longing. I brought my arms to my shoulders, spreading water all over me, revelling in its cold embrace.
Thus I remained for a long while before the opened window, alone and defeated, utterly hopeless. When I dared open my eyes, the new light of day was timidly piercing through the blackness of the clouds and the rain had thinned. It fell constantly now, gently pattering, gathering in worldly puddles between the uneven cobbles of the courtyard.
I began to shiver with cold, but my feet were so numb and aching, I could not muster the courage to gather myself up. Of course it had to be Jan Turek to find me thus. I groaned audibly when I heard his panicked cry and the stomping footsteps on the carpeted floorboard.
‘Christ, Irina!’
He reached me in an instant and knelt beside me, soaking his own trousers in the puddle of rain water.
‘What in God’s name are you doing? You’ll catch yourself a death of cold!’
I glanced at him but said nothing. Grinding his teeth at my lack of reaction, Jan sprang up and hurriedly closed the windows. Not bothering to ask for permission of any sort, he lifted me in his arms and crossed the chamber to the fireplace, covering me with all the quilts from the bed.
Jan was moving so fast, I could barely follow him. The fire had died out over night, so he stoked the red embers back to life promptly. In the next moment, he was holding a glass of amber liquid before me.
‘Drink,’ he commanded sternly.
I obeyed with machine-like gestures. I took the glass, but my fingers were so numb with cold, I dropped it. It fell to the floor and broke of course.
Jan was at the door, shouting orders to someone, alerting people unnecessarily. When he heard the crack, he ran back to me.
‘What happened?’
‘I broke the glass.’
Noticing the fateful shards on the floor, Jan kicked them aside with the tip of his boot. He took my hands in his and brought them to his mouth, blowing warm air over them.
‘I’ve summoned your maids. They’ll bring up hot water momentarily.’
‘I don’t need a bath,’ I croaked, glaring at him with utmost annoyance.
He ignored me, not letting go of my hands.
‘Yes you do. You’re half frozen already.’
In another series of rapid gestures, Jan filled a second glass with brandy and held it to my mouth.
‘Open. Drink.’
I did. Almost instantly, I felt the warmth sliding down my throat and spreading through my veins like liquid fire.
‘More,’ he urged, again holding the glass for me.
I finished the entire contents in three gulps. Immediately, I felt my fingers and toes sting as bloodflow returned.
‘Thank you,’ I obliged.
Jan stood bent above me, his hands gripping the sides of the winged chair, knuckles white with tension, heated rage radiating from him. The expression on his face was indescribable. There was a lot of anger, fear, and something else I could not place. Disappointment? Hurt? Why should he be hurt?
His eyes were scrutinizing my mad apparel with evident displeasure, his jaw working from side to side as his teeth kept gnashing audibly.
‘What—what in Heaven’s name were you doing, Irena?’ he breathed, fighting hard to steady himself.
As warmth returned to my limbs, so did my sanity. I had been reckless.
‘I was…I was in misery, Jan,’ I managed, not looking at him.
‘Misery? Whatever for? Who died?’
His voice was dripping with heavy sarcasm.
‘My Nana. My father. My dog. Half of the people living in this castle—need I go on?’
‘That was almost three months ago, Irena.’
‘Yes, Jan. And I feel the grief of their loss as if it were yesterday.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
I looked up at him, meeting his burning glare.
‘I’m not asking you to.’
Just then, the door opened and three maidservants entered my chamber, carrying boiling water and fresh linen towels. Jan stood up straight and gave the necessary orders.
Two of the maids went around the oriental screen and I heard the water being poured into the large copper basin. The third maid approached me and curtsied.
‘My Lady? Your bath is ready.’
Jan stepped aside; still I did not move from my chair.
‘Go with them, Irena,’ he spoke sternly but calmly.
‘I don’t need a bath. I’m already warm,’ I protested, then gestured for the maid to leave.
She glanced at Jan.
‘No. Stay.’
In one stride, Jan was back before me. He threw away the wet coverlets and scooped me up, half-naked as I was, in his arms.
‘Put me down!’ I cried hoarsely.
He carried me across the chamber and behind the screen, causing the other two maidservants to gasp loudly.
‘If you’re truly determined to cause damage to yourself, Irena, you might wish to attempt a quicker method,’ he muttered, his fury tangible. ‘Because I hear pneumonia takes too long and it is bloody painful.’
He laid me into the basin unceremoniously, yet not without gentleness. The water felt too hot on my cold body and I winced and panted.
‘Remove her shift,’ Jan instructed the maids in a low voice. ‘Make sure you rub her skin well with camphor oil afterwards. And bring new quilts and bed sheets. Everything is soaked.’
‘Yes, my Lord.’
The two younger maids left in a hurry and the older one began washing and scrubbing me as if I were a small child. I knew I was not allowed to protest, but I certainly missed Johanna’s gentle ministrations.
I rested my head on my knees and let the woman’s vigorous treatment bring back life to my frozen limbs. Except for the crackling of the fire, there was perfect silence for a long while, and I thought we were alone.
‘Kindly lift your arms up, my Lady,’ the maid requested.
I obeyed and allowed her to undress the thin silk chemise. She poured more steaming hot water into the basin and it went up over my breasts.
‘This will warm you up in no time, your Highness,’ the kind woman smiled, wiping her hands on her apron. ‘I’ll go bring up the camphor.’
She scurried away and I sighed and laid my head back on the basin's hard margin. Jan was right. A hot bath was exactly what I needed.
‘So. Now will you tell me what you were thinking?’
I jumped up startled. Jan was standing right beside me, arms crossed, leaning casually on the side of the screen. His eyes were still burning, but I could swear the flame in them had metamorphosed into a different kind of sentiment. Or need.
I was aware he could not see more than the upper swell of my breasts. Still, I slid even lower into the water.
‘I already told you,’ I murmured. ‘I was in pain.’
‘What hurt?’
I shrugged, my eyes darting out to the windows and the rain that still fell from the white-grey sky.
‘My heart. My ego...I don’t know.’
Jan knelt himself on the floor and rested his arms against the copper edge.
‘Where were you last night, Irena?’ he asked me quietly.
I gazed back at him. His features betrayed no anger now, only deep concern. And again, something else.
‘I rode to Kostvice to seek a wisewoman.’
‘Why?’
‘I would tell you, but you’ll be cross with me again.’
Jan scoffed and shook his head, looking down. After a moment, he lifted his eyes to me.
‘You believed a wisewoman could help you find him.’
I simply nodded, averting my gaze.
‘I knew you’d be cross,’ I muttered, unconsciously hugging myself under the water.
‘I’m not cross, Irena,’ he sighed. ‘Disappointed maybe, but not cross. God—‘
He broke off, sighed again and raked his hands through his hair.
‘Very well. Tell me what happened. Did you find your wisewoman?’
I did not think that disappointing Jan would make me feel so guilty. Still not daring to lift my gaze, I told him the whole story, leaving nothing out. I told him that I had not given up on finding Damian, that the hag had requested my emerald jewel as payment and in exchange, I had been made a promise that my letter to Damian would be delivered with my bird.
‘She gave me nothing but took a lot,’ I sighed. ‘If I knew it was that simple, I could have sent Kol to him weeks ago.’
‘She tricked you, most likely,’ Jan grunted.
I shrugged again and scoffed.
‘So my answer to your question—what I was thinking—is that really, I was not thinking. I let myself succumb to misery and disappointment. I had hoped the witch may cast a spell and tell me where he is, where he hides—or something similar in any case.’
Jan was gazing at me deeply and his expression was unreadable.
‘I apologize,’ I resumed remorseful. ‘I know what I did was wrong. But I was never in any danger. Captain Vasin was with us at all times and—‘
‘It’s not your secret escape that concerns me the most, Irena,’ Jan shook his head, the crease between his brows deeper than ever. ‘It’s the reason for it. I thought I told you never to seek him out again. I thought you understood.’
I saw his hands trembling in distress. I felt tears prickle once again behind my already swollen eyes.
‘Just this once,’ I whispered pained. ‘Just one more time, please, Jan. I have to know.'
‘And then what? What will you do once you know?’
I roamed my eyes on the walls.
‘And don’t say it depends on his answer,’ he went on. ‘Whatever he tells you, it cannot take you from your duties and your kingdom. He knows this well. So really, what is the purpose after all?’
I sniffled and felt the tears trickle down my face, falling into the water with tiny plopping sounds.
‘Because I need to know. I need to hear it from him. Please.’
Jan heaved a heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the world. I knew how much it cost him to agree to this.
‘Very well. Just this once. You may see him once, if you can find him, that is—and if you can guarantee that the other one won’t step foot on our lands as well. After that, he leaves and you return to your first duty, which is the ruling of this kingdom.’
I let out a deep sigh of relief.
‘Thank you, Jan. You don’t know how much this means to me.’
‘Alas, I do. Bend yourself forward.’
I frowned, not understanding.
'I'm sorry, what?'
Jan sat up and undressed his tunic, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. I stared at his preparations utterly bewildered and quite motionless.
‘Just do as I say. God, is it so hard for you to obey simple instructions, Irena?’
‘Yes, as a matter of fact. What are you doing?’
‘Preventing you from catching the dreaded pneumonia, what else? Since your maid hasn’t come back yet with that damned camphor oil, someone else needs to take care of you.’
‘And that someone is you,’ I attempted a sarcastic comment.
‘So it would seem. Now do bend forward.’
Bemusedly, I did.
Jan took a large sponge and soaked it in water. He began rubbing my back with long strokes. Again, even though seemingly rough and vigorous, his treatment of me was also very much gentle. In any case, far gentler than the maid’s.
Since he stood behind me, I could not see him, but I was starting to feel Jan’s warm breath closer and closer on the back of my neck. His hand touched me lightly when he gathered my wet hair and pushed it to the side. I shivered, although not from cold.
‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured. ‘I’ll be done in a moment.’
‘It’s fine, don’t worry,’ I lied, trying my best to sound unaffected.
I could not explain myself the instantaneous reaction his touch had caused and nor did I want to. But the spot at the very top of my shoulder where the tips of his fingers had brushed against now burned and tingled. That spot suddenly developed a will of its own. It wanted more. A very small, very narrow portion of my skin wanted—no, yearned for—Jan’s touch once more. More than once.
I frowned, angry at myself. This was not the first time my body betrayed me and betrayed Damian. And with Jan Turek, of all people. It could not be. I still had until the end of the year. There was yet time.
‘I really think I’m warm enough now,’ I ventured, clearing my voice.
I moved my shoulders backwards and sat up straight, causing him to cease his rubbing--also forgetting I was naked in the water. Naturally, it was too late by the time I remembered.
I looked up at Jan in panic.
‘No, it really seems you are not,’ he murmured huskily, his eyes hooded, the direction of their stare unmistakable.
Sinking low in the bath, the water reached to my neck, but now my legs were exposed almost all the way up to my thighs. Jan could not refrain a chuckle and I groaned exasperated.
‘You are enjoying this, aren’t you?’ I muttered, not really annoyed.
For the first time in weeks, Jan’s features were lit up with what seemed like honest mirth. It struck me how truly handsome he was. His deep brown eyes were twinkling, his long white hair shimmered in the daylight, his dimpled smile almost endearing.
‘I must say that I am,’ he grinned wider.
Jan put the sponge to the side and crouched down, once more crossing his arms on the edge of the basin. He did not speak, but kept studying me closely. I rolled my eyes at his hopeful expression.
‘What are you trying to do, Jan? The maids will be back at any moment. Do you wish to compromise me already?’
‘That would be the easiest solution in this case, wouldn’t it?’ he murmured, more to himself.
I paled, a knot of fear swelling inside of me. He could do it. As things were, he could indeed compromise me and force me into marriage before the week’s end. Would he stoop so low?
‘Jan, you promised,’ I gushed. ‘You gave me your word.’
The smile on his face disappeared, but his features did not return to their usual stern manner.
‘So I did. And I will keep true to it. Except now I have something of my own to look forward to.’
As light as a feather, and for the smallest instant, he caressed the side of my cheek with one finger. Then, he stood up and gathered his tunic.
‘What do you mean by that?’ I asked, still confounded by his gesture.
He smiled again and it made my heart flutter wildly.
‘Never mind that now. You’d better come out of that lukewarm water before my pmneumonia-preventing efforts are in vain.’
My eyes grew large and round in astonishment.
‘Are you in earnest?’
‘Of course I am. Didn’t you say you were warm enough a moment ago?’
‘Yes, and you were indelicate enough to point to the opposite,’ I hissed.
Jan burst into laughter.
‘Forgive me my blunder, Irena. Any man would have reacted in the same way in my place. Now, tell me, where can I find your chamber robe?’
My mouth popped open with indignation.
‘You wish to dress me now, too?’
Jan was biting his lips, fighting with laughter.
‘Well, you always have the possibility of coming out of the bath on you own and walk around fully naked.’
I threw him the most loathsome glare I could muster, then conceded.
‘The maids left in on the bed.’
Without another word, Jan disappeared around the screen. I moaned with undisguised indignation and covered my face in my hands. What was wrong with me, for goodness’ sake? Why was I playing his game? It was obvious that the terms of our relationship had changed dramatically in the course of one morning. What had triggered the change?
Before I could find an answer, Jan came back with my thick winter robe. His rearranged humble features did nothing to hide his evident enjoyment.
‘Are you ready?’ he grinned.
‘No. Leave the robe and go away.’
‘That is not an option. You will trip and fall from mere exhaustion. It happened before.’
‘Fine. Hand me the robe and turn your back.’
‘You will wet it. After all this trouble, it would be a shame for you to own another useless garment.’
I released a cry of exasperation.
‘Will you at least close your eyes? Please! Don’t make this situation worse.’
Jan chuckled, incredibly calm.
‘In my opinion, the situation couldn’t have gone any better. But be it as you will.’
He closed his eyes and lifted the gown, holding it for me. Waiting a short while to be certain he would not peak, I rose to my feet and slid my arms through the sleeves as quickly as possible. Immediately, I turned with my back to him to tie a secure knot through the robe’s many hooks. I had no doubt he had looked.
‘Satisfied?’ I muttered.
Jan’s expression was answer enough.
‘Yes.’
‘Good. You’ll have to content yourself with that.’
He grinned mysteriously.
‘We’ll see. Give me your hand, I’ll help you out,’ he offered.
I did as he said and made to step over the basin’s high margin. Arrogant or no, Jan had been right to stay. As soon as I stood up on my feet, I lost any sense of balance and felt myself sway on the spot.
‘Be careful,’ he said, catching me, as always, just in time.
Apparently, he was taking great pleasure in carrying me around in his arms. The smugness on his face!
‘God, you’re unbelievable,’ I scoffed, still feeling faint.
‘I shall take it as a compliment,’ he chuckled.
‘Don’t. It wasn’t meant as one.’
Jan ignored me, perfectly oblivious. Instead, he took me to the large four-poster bed and laid me gently on new, lavender-scented sheets.
‘Oh, look. A tiny bottle of camphor oil seemed to have materialised itself on your bedside table,’ he noted amused. ‘Shall I summon your maid Johanna, or would you like me to proceed?’
I gave him a sour expression and rolled my eyes again. I thought I had heard the door to my chamber open and close while Jan had been engrossed in rubbing the length of my back. That meant I was as good as compromised. Whoever had come, they had obviously heard and seen us.
‘Don’t even think about it,’ I retorted, angry again. ‘I can’t even imagine the magnitude of the rumours that will start roaming the castle tomorrow. Give it a week, and the entire country will talk.’
Jan merely shrugged it off, obviously undisturbed.
‘Do not worry about it. Rumours come and go.’
‘Yes, but this time, they will concern me.’
‘And me.’
‘You are used to it.’
Jan scoffed.
‘You should be too. Don’t tell me you weren’t aware of what they said about you and Halvard,’ his tone grew instantly malicious.
‘No. What did they say?’
I was genuinely curious. Jan frowned and shook his head.
‘I am not the best person to ask that.’
I gazed at him doubtfully.
‘Who, then?’
He smirked.
‘I’m certain you’ll find someone who may give you more details. For now, you would do better to rest. You have time before tonight’s Council meeting,’ he added, as he headed to the door.
‘There was no meeting scheduled for tonight,’ I protested, sitting up.
‘A missive came yesterday from Vienna. The Emperor is demanding an official answer from us.’
I froze, staring at him.
‘About my marriage?’
He nodded.
I groaned loudly, digging my nails into my scalp.
‘Oh, why won’t they leave me in peace?’
The look of compassion returned to Jan’s eyes.
‘We will find a solution. Have faith, Irena.’
His words startled me, ringing eerily true in the silence that followed after Jan left my chamber. I sank back on the soft pillows and hid under the covers. A heavily disappointing night and a miserable morning. Why then did I feel strangely hopeful? I was so overcome with exhaustion, I fell asleep before my mind could find an answer to my new dilemma.