Vampire Heart

Chapter 19

Something soft and smelling of wet leaves was brushing against my cheek. I opened my eyes and blinked sleepily.
'Kol'?
My bird croaked gently, his hard yellow beak nibbing on my hair.
'You're back?'
I sat up and he perched on my knee. My hand stroked his wet ruffled feathers, as his eyes bored into mine.
'Why are you back so soon?' I asked him unnecessarily. 'Did you find Chaverny? Did you go back to Erika?'
Kol did not answer any of my questions of course. He flew off and perched himself in his usual high place on one of the bed's posts. I looked at him pensively. I had traded my emerald jewel for answers and it was plain to see I would not receive any.
I scoffed angrily. Of course I could not hold it against Johanna, she had meant well. But her renowed relative was nothing but an old fraud.
What remained for me to do? I had nothing left-no jewel, no beloved and no hope.
A gentle knock shook me from my dark thoughts. Johanna entered the chamber, a hopeful smile in place. The smile vanished instantly at my expression. Kol decided to greet her too and gave out a loud startling cawing. She jumped, evidently as shocked as I was to see the bird back to the castle so soon.
'Good afternoon, your Highness,' she mumbled.
'Have I slept so late?'
'It's past four,' my maid answered, depositing a tray upon the table. 'You've slept the whole day long. Lord Turek gave specific orders that you should not be disturbed.'
'Did you rest as well, Johanna?' I said, attempting a smile.
'I did, thank you. I have brought you some warm chicken broth Cook prepared for you. His Lordship came in and gave the instructions himself.'
My heart performed a treacherous leap at the mention, my thoughts travelling back to the previous night and early morning's events. Had Jan not slept at all? I shrugged it off. Jan's welfare did not concern me in the least-liar that I was.
I slid out of bed into my chamber slippers and walked to the basin to wash away sleep from my eyes.
'Why do you suppose that Kol is back so soon?' I murmured, facing away from my maid.
'I don't know,' she answered in a small voice. 'Maybe Erika released him?'
'Maybe,' I said, turning then. 'Or maybe she got what she wanted and didn't care about anything else.'
'Do you mean the medallion?'
I simply nodded and seated myself at the table to eat. Johanna stood awkwardly to the side, her hands shaking on the empty platter. I glanced up at her.
'Oh no, Johanna, please, I didn't mean to upset you.'
I stood up and embraced her.
'I'm the one who needs to apologise,' she snuffled.
She cried even easier than I did.
'Why should you apologise?' I pulled back to gaze at her and wiped the moist from under her eyelashes. 'You've done nothing wrong. You only wanted to help and for that you are dearer to me than ever before.'
She kept holding onto the tray, but her head rested on my shoulder for a long moment. I broke the embrace and smiled openly, seeking her gaze. Johanna answered my smile with her beaming one and she wiped off her eyes.
'All right then. I will let you dine. I promised Cook I'd help with tonight's meal.'
She curtseyed out of habit and made for the door, where she stopped, hand on the latch.
'Oh. His Lordship told me to tell you the Council hour was moved to this afternoon, and that he would visit you after it's done.'
I dropped my spoon and stood up abruptly.
'Do you mean it's happening now?'
'That's what I gathered, yes,' Johanna said bemusedly.
I pushed back my chair and ran to the dresser, picking up the first gown I found.
'What are you doing?'
'Come help me in this thing, Johanna,' I muttered, silently cursing having chosen a gown with a backward corset.
'B-but you have not eaten,' she flustered. 'And you're supposed to be resting.'
'No, I'm supposed to be at the Council.'
'My Lady, I really think it's not wise--'
'They are discussing the Treaty with the Habsburgs. I must be there.'
Ten minutes later, I was storming out of my chambers, gown barely fastened, hair unloose, maidservant chasing after me with a ribbon.
'My Lady, wait, your tresses--'
'Leave it, Johanna, it's just hair,' I said, collecting an armful of velvet and skipping down the great central staircase.
I turned left and ran down the long tapestry-lined corridor, skidding to a halt before the Council chamber door. It was ajar. Panting, I pushed it open, my eyes falling immediately on the empty chairs. Jan stood alone at the table, sorting through letters and scrolls.
'Irena?'
'Where is everyone?' I asked him, stomping inside.
'They just left. I was coming to see you. How do you feel?'
With a concerned look, Jan circled the great rectangular table and walked towards me.
'I'm perfectly fine. Why was I not announced of the meeting hour changing?'
He blinked suprised.
'You were resting.'
'Why wasn't a servant sent to wake me?'
Jan kept blinking, utterly oblivious.
'I gave orders for you not to be disturbed.'
'Why did you change the meeting hours, then?' I said, advancing on him.
Jan stood his ground, his expression serious, the twinkle in his eyes the only proof he still found my anger amusing.
'It wasn't at my request,' he answered with a shrug. 'Most of the Council memebers have organized a hunting party tomorrow. They wanted to retire early.'
I scoffed, rolling my eyes.
'A hunting party? Really?'
'Yes, and you and I have both been invited.'
'No thank you. I take no pleasure in slaughtering animals. You are free to go however.'
Jan grinned, leaning himself against the heavy oak table.
'I am no huntsman, I declined. Besides, there are other more urgent matters I must attend to. Aren't you curious what was decided?'
I raised a questioning eyebrow.
'About the Treaty?'
He tilted his head.
'It has to do with it, yes--'
'And my marital status, no doubt.'
'Yes.'
We glared at one another, each waiting for the other the speak first. Eventually, my nerves and anxiousness took the best of me.
'Well? Will you tell me what was decided?'
Jan grinned again triumphantly.
'Very well. As you know, the Habsburg Treaty does specify that the Queen should wed an Austrian nobleman within the year. However, it leaves the possibility open for the said Queen to also choose her bridegroom from among her own preferences.'
I frowned.
'I thought the document stated that I should marry a Habsburg or...you.'
I felt myself blush. Jan saw it instantly and smiled.
'Yes. Tonight the document was amended in that regard.'
'Meaning?'
'The Council voted unanimously that you should still be allowed some measure of freedom. Within a month, Bohemia will be hosting a ball, at which a number of royal-blooded noblemen from across Europe will attend. I have been given the task to write letters and and sieve through the most elligible names of the neighbouring nations--with your supervision, of course.'
'A ball?' I scoffed. 'Has our treasury magically refilled itself overnight, perhaps?'
Jan looked away for an instant.
'We will make ends meet, rest assured. Count Boreslav just informed me we still have provisions from three summers ago. There is more than enough to provide for a ball, and our people, in case of calamity or poor harvest.'
It was my turn to blink in surprise. They had thought of everything, had they not? Least of all my heart. But a Queen's heart was no longer her own, as it seemed. It belonged now to her country. The sooner I got used to this, the better. The world could not be held back by a woman's ambition for her lost love.
'So then...a ball?' I sighed defeated.
'Yes, a ball. After dinner, I shall come to you with a list of names,' Jan informed me matter-of-factly.
He turned around and began gathering the papers and documents left on the table.
'No, don't bother. Choose whomever you think it's suitable. I dont care.'
I saw his shoulders tense, his gestures stopping, but I did not linger. I left the Council chamber without another word, and strode out of the castle and into my mother's garden.
It was the beginning of May and the roses were blooming. The rain had finally stopped, so the air was cool and fresh and filled with fragrance. The sun had made its arc on the horizon and dusk was near, the sky a lovely painting of dark clouds and bright splashes of orange and gold.
My shoes and the hem of my dress were already wet by the time I reached the old chestnut tree. I sat down at the bottom of the tree, leaning myself against the hard rough bark. I wanted to cry, but oddly, I found I could not. I had barely stopped crying ever since Damian had left me and I had cried so much last night, that now it seemed my tears had finally dried. Had I resigned myself already?
Inhaling deeply, I gazed around at the beautifully kept garden. This place was my solace. I had come here seeking it more times than I could remember, and more times than I could remember had Damian found me sitting under this very tree. I drew up my knees and rested my head on them in dismay. I would always love him. I would always miss him. But strangely, I did not hurt anymore. I could not consider myself completely healed, far from it. And yet, I was feeling a little better than yesterday.
The visit to the wisewoman's cottage had not only been in vain, but also a terrible indiscretion from my part, the newly-crowned Queen. But maybe, just maybe, this failure had helped me achieve that which all my tears had not: some measure of resignation. Nothing could erase the ten beautiful years with Damian. They were engraved into my very core. But the country could not wait for me to come to a decision. Our freedom as a nation was at stake.
'Irena.'
Jan's voice, even if soft, gave me a start and I foolishly pressed my hand against my heart to steady it. In the red-golden light of the sunset, his face shone as bright as those of the angels painted on the walls of St. Vitus' Cathedral. His long pearl-white hair practically shimmered, reflecting the profusion of the sky, and his dark attire only emphasised the contrast.
'I'm sorry,' he said, striding down the pathway towards me and seating himself beside me. 'I didn't mean to scare you.'
I shrugged, trying my best to recompose my features.
'It's fine,' I mumbled, rubbing my arms from the chill.
'Why do you always enjoy playing with fire? This morning you stood in the rain, now you're enduring the cold. Your health is not something you should be forfeiting easily, Irena.'
With a disapproving glare, Jan undressed his coat, wrapping it around my shoulders instead.
'I won't get sick. I spent most of my childhood on the wet grass,' I retorted, unconsciously breathing in Jan's fresh clean scent with which his coat was imbued.
He gave a chuckle and shook his head.
'For once, can't you simply thank me without behaving like a puffed up cat?'
'I'm not a cat!'
Jan grinned half a crooked grin. Was he sitting too close to me all of a sudden?
'Yes, you are,' he said.
'And I'm not puffed up either.'
I held onto my annoyance, ignoring the pounding of my heart in my ears.
'Yes, you are, and stubborn one too.'
I scoffed and looked away from his handsome, all-knowing expression.
'I don't like cats,' I muttered.
Jan took me by the chin and turned my face back to his.
'Too bad. I love cats. Particularly the puffed up, stubborn ones.'
His lips touched mine ever so softly, more of a caress than a kiss. It did not last long. He drew himself back enough for his onyx eyes to pierce into mine. They were burning me, pulling me into their dark spell.
'Jan-'
'Hush.'
He lowered his lips on mine again, this time more decisively. I stood still, head pounding, heart bursting out of my chest. What was I doing? This was wrong, so wrong.
Jan pulled back for a fraction, his fingers stroking the edge of my lower lip.
'Stop holding yourself back, Irena,' he whispered, his knife-carved features hard. 'You want this as bad as I do.'
I stared at him scared and shook my head.
'N-no-'
Jan cupped my face in both hands, eyes boring into mine as before.
'Kiss me, then,' he breathed. 'Kiss me and you will know.'
There was my challenge. But the spell was already cast, so I could no longer deny my own wish. Jan was right. I wanted this. My cheeks on fire, I shifted closer to him, my hand resting on his shoulder, my ears deaf from the wild thumping of my heart.
I kissed him. My mouth pressed on his, taking in the softness of his fleshy lips, the way they folded beneath mine and then opened. I gasped when I felt the caress of his warm breath pulling me into him as through a whirlwind. My kiss became his kiss, and I felt Jan taking over.
Groaning, he pulled me into an embrace, one hand cupping my nape, the other circling my waist. His mouth kept moving over mine with more and more persuasion and I knew I was a breath away from admitting defeat. With my last thread of conscience, I summoned Damian's image before my eyes, even trying to imagine him kissing me instead of Jan. It did not work. It was too different, too warm and unfamiliarly good. Sensing his victory, Jan licked the seam of my lips and they opened for him obediently. Inhaling abruptly, his tongue slid inside, curling around mine, hungry and exploring. His hands tilted my head to one side and his mouth slanted over mine at an even more urgent pace.
Where was my guilt? This, what I was doing, kissing Jan Turek in a shadowy corner of my garden, did not for a moment feel wrong. It felt the opposite.
Heat swept over me in waves and we were both breathless. I sunk my fingers into his soft hair, untying the leather band that kept it smooth and orderly at all times. Breaking the kiss, I pulled back to gaze at him and my heart, already in havoc, gave a wild stutter at Jan's beauty. How had I not seen it before?
White hair falling around his face to his chest, dark, almost black eyes and lips now red and swollen, Jan was an otherworldly creature of fable set out to seduce me. Well, he had succeeded.
'You are so beautiful,' he whispered, his eyes set on my mouth.
'So are you,' I whispered back, stroking his hair.
He pulled me back to him and his awaiting embrace, his lips rekindling their hunger on mine. I opened readily, eagerly, inviting him in, his kiss awakening long-dormant desires within me.
Soon, we were both panting into each other's mouths, tongues swirling against one another, hands stroking and seeking, daring more and more. I let out a loud moan when one of his hands cupped my left breast. It surprised me how readily my body arched into his touch, how badly I had wanted it.
His mouth moved away from my mine to hunt down my neck and lower to my collar bone. I closed my eyes and arched myself against him, seeking even more closeness.
'Irena,' he gushed, his mouth leaving wet trails down my neck. 'You don't know how I've longed for this.'
I looked into his eyes and smoothed back his white hair. I wanted to say that I had too longed for this, but I could not find the words nor the courage. He seemed to understand, for he simply nodded and resumed our kiss with even greater fervour.
Before knowing what was happening, I found myself pulled onto his lap, my arms around his neck, Jan's back against the old chestnut tree. In this way, both his hands were free to roam down over me and knead my breasts. He groaned into our feverish kiss and his hips gave a tentative thrust under me. I could feel how hard he was even through the heavy fabric of my dress.
'Jan,' I whispered against his lips.
Jan, yes, please, more.
Jan, no, stop, not here.
More, just more!
These were rambling thoughts and fragments of thoughts that rushed into my head indecisively.
We drew back to gaze at each other, both of us panting and light-headed. I was not the only one fighting mad rambling thoughts in that moment. Jan's hands descended from my breasts to my waist, his fingers digging in almost painfully. He closed his eyes and our foreheads touched. We kept breathing loudly, deeply, staying perfectly still, trying to calm ourselves.
'What are we doing?' I whispered hoarsely.
He chuckled and opened his eyes. Instantly, I recognized the look of propriety and composure returning, the thing which maddened me the most about him.
'Ruining the expensive fabric of our clothes on the wet grass,' he answered huskily, the twinkle in his eyes still mischievous.
'That is a very irresponsible thing to do,' I said quietly, gazing at him from under my lashes. 'We should be ashamed of ourselves.'
Jan grinned and pulled me up to my feet. My hand in his, we continued to gaze at one another.
'No, we shouldn't,' he whispered, the fire back in his eyes.
I knew the web was spinning itself in a circle around us, but this was indeed irresponsible and quite dangerous for the two of us to linger here so long. Undoubtedly, our absence had been noted.
'I think we should get back,' I made myself say.
A muscle ticking in his jaw, Jan merely nodded and gestured for me to go first. But we had not yet crossed the gardens when I felt him walking beside me, his warm hand seeking mine, holding tightly.
'So. About that list of names,' he said quietly.
I glanced sideways at him, repressing a grin.
'What about it?'
Jan cleared his voice softly, his gaze not meeting mine.
'I have it with me. Shall we go to the Council chamber and discuss it?'
His ever-righteous attitude made me want to laugh, but I managed to hold it back. After what had just happened between us, there was still a question of that?
'Not the Council chamber. Let's go to the library. It's warmer there,' I amended.
Jan chuckled meaningfully, his hand squeezing mine.
'You do remember that our sleeping quarters are next to one another, don't you? We could just as well discuss the matter in yours or mine.'
I bit my lips and felt myself blushing. His words were no longer just innocent innuendos.
'Do you think it's wise?'
'Irena, we just kissed and tumbled under a tree in the garden in plain view. Anyone could see us. What could be unwiser than this? At least, our chambers are comfortable.'
I stopped in my tracks, staring at him in shock. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
We had visited each other many times before. I had burst into Jan's chamber when he had had night terrors; when he had injured his palm. He had carried me to my chamber whenever I had felt ill. Even this morning. He had gathered me in a wet heap and given me a hot bath. If I were to study our friendship from a completely objective point of view, I would say we were behaving as any husband and wife would.
It suddenly struck me. Those two words...our very history together, every encounter, more or less formal--it had been obvious for everyone around us, less so for me. How had I not seen it?
I blinked rapidly, seeing it now.
'Is it your turn to be playing with fire, my Lord Turek? Where has your proverbial caution gone?'
'I think I've just scattered it to the wind for you, my Queen. Come.'
Night had fallen and Jan and I were climbing the front steps of the castle together, no escort behind us, no valet or maid. The guards were already lighting the wall sconces along the outer ramparts. They saluted as customary, not daring to let their eyes linger. But I thought I could hear whispers.
Captain Vasin met us at the doors.
'Good evening, my Lord, your Highness,' he greeted, his gaze immediately falling on our joined hands.
I made to pull my hand free, but Jan held on fast.
'Good evening, Captain. Are you starting on your rounds?'
I looked up at Jan. He radiated power and confidence, perhaps with a shade of contained pride. Because of me, I knew.
'Yes, my Lord, presently. I was on my way to let you know that our walls have been thoroughly checked, there are no breaches. Also, we have already started reinforcing our defences.'
I turned to Jan, then back to the Captain.
'I did not know we were preparing for a siege.'
'Strengthening our defences is not an act of war, my Lady Queen,' Jan said, looking at me. 'We are simply planning for the upcoming event. More people mean more weaknesses.'
The upcoming event? He meant the suitors' ball.
'Yes, your Majesty,' Captain Vasin intervened. 'Especially if, as I understand it, the event will open our grounds to royal houses from around Europe. Security is imperative.'
I nodded understanding.
'Yes, Captain, that is correct. Perhaps we should call for a larger effective from Prague,' I suggested. 'For the occasion, I mean.'
Jan and I glanced at one another for an instant and he nodded.
'Yes, Your Majesty. I will send a messenger to Commander Zirkovic and inform him.'
'Thank you, Captain,' I smiled and moved up the stairs.
Jan let go of my hand then and stayed behind with the Captain to discuss more security details, no doubt.
I lingered for a moment, unsure whether to wait for him there or to proceed inside. I could not go directly to my chamber--or his--as he had suggested. Not yet.
'I shall call for tea in the library, my Lord,' I told him with the lightest, most unaffected tone I could manage.
Jan glanced at me and nodded once, then returned to his talk with the Captain of the guards. Had he mentioned Damian or was my treacherous heart betraying me?
The thought of him triggered a certain amount of shame and remorse. Only last night I had cried and pleaded with Captain Vasin for my lost love. And now, merely hours later, I had betrayed him with Jan. And I could not blame it on Jan either. I had been quite willing.
Walking down the corridors, I met Johanna. She saw my worried face and duly noted my ruffled hair. Her eyes fell then upon the green patches of grass that stained my dress and Jan's coat that still hanged over my shoulders.
'Is everything all right?' she asked me in a careful whisper.
It was dinner time and the halls were filled with servants and valets. Lords and Ladies were descending to the dining hall, many stopping to ask me to join them. I had to excuse myself repeatedly and invent one pretext or another until word spread and they left me in peace. I took Johanna's arm and headed together to the library on the first floor.
I was glad there was already a fire burning and I went and stood before the hearth, reaching out my hands to warm them.
'Can you please serve the tea in here, Johanna?' I said without meeting her eyes.
'Of course. I'll go fetch it right away. Just...are you-are you quite all right, my Lady?'
I turned to her, the worry in her voice breaking my resolve. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment.
'I was with Jan in the gardens just now.'
Johanna's eyes grew large and they measured my apparel from head to toe once again. This time, I knew what she was imagining had happened. So I merely nodded.
'But, my Lady-Lord Halvard-'
I covered my face in my hands and collapsed into one of the high-backed armchairs.
'I know, I know,' I mumbled.
'Has his Lordship done something-'
I removed my hands and glanced at my maid.
'No, not at all. Nothing of what happened was against my will. It's just...I-I don't know what to do. I thought I knew what I wanted, I thought my mind was made up. But now...now I don't know anything anymore. There's still that cursed Treaty to think of-and the Council wants a ball in a month and I...I'm just lost.'
Johanna knelt beside me, her big brown eyes shining with hope.
'My Lady, can't you see? This is a good thing.'
'How can a suitors' ball be a good thing? Can you imagine the expenses? Bohemia can barely afford such a waste-'
'Not the ball. Although, if you ask me, I think some festivities would be much appreciated.'
'We had a ball for my coronation,' I pointed.
'It's not the same. Everyone knows you were a reluctant Queen, especially after your father's death and then Lord Halvard's departure-'
I stared at Johanna. She could be painfully blunt sometimes.
'Everyone?'
'Yes, my Lady. But they all saw that in spite of everything you didn't cower before the task, so they love you even more.'
My heart warmed at her words. She smiled and stroked my hand.
'What I meant before was...you and Lord Turek.'
I squinted my eyes at her.
'What of me and Lord Turek?'
My maid stood up and walked to the door with a wide smirk.
'It's obvious, isn't it? Everybody knows you were made for each other. I'm just glad you seem to have finally realised it too.'
Before I could answer, the door opened and Jan entered the library, causing Johanna to jump back startled. I groaned inwardly. There was no way he had not heard what she was saying mere moments before.
She curtseyed clumsily and scurried around him in a wide berth, closing the door in her wake. Jan scoffed and his eyes locked on mine.
'What was that about?'
I bit my lips and attempted half of an apologetic smile.
'Johanna was just telling me about the circulating rumours.'
Jan strode across the room towards me and sat in the other armchair.
'About you and I?'
I began examining my fingernails.
'Yes.'
'Let me guess. We were seen.'
My stomach gave a turn.
'N-no, she didn't mention anything,' I stammered.
He laughed softly and bent himself forward, long fingers entwined.
'Do not fret. Even if we were seen, which I doubt, everyone is first and foremost loyal to you. Nobody would dare compromise you.'
Jan's eyes were beaming at me, drinking me in. I blinked away with sudden shyness.
'Everyone is too kind.'
'You treat people with kindness, Irena. Rich and poor alike. Of course you will receive kindness in return. In that sense, I have much to learn from you yet.'
There was a knock on the door and Johanna came back, carrying a tea tray and a plate of sweet cakes. Jan stared at me meaningfully, tilting his head to the door.
'Thank you, Johanna, we will serve it ourselves,' I told my maid, dismissing her.
'Yes, my Lady. My Lord.'
Once we were alone, our eyes locked. His long white hair a straight curtain, Jan was gazing at me with heady darkness, his shoulders tense, his breathing harsh.
I realized I was again biting my lips, my skin flushed, my chest swelling uncomfortably inside my corset.
'Shall I pour the tea?' I offered, desperately searching for something to occupy my hands with.
Jan chuckled, running his own hands through his hair.
'I think I'll need something stronger than tea to get me through tonight.'
'Oh? Are you expecting long hours?' I asked with feigned innocence.
He grinned crookedly.
'By all the saints, yes, I do.'
I hid a smirk behind a soft cough.
'But you said we only needed to look over your list of eligible suitors. That shouldn't take too long.'
I poured tea in two porcelain cups and began stirring in honey. When I sat back comfortably in my chair, I saw Jan licking his lower lip, his eyes fixed above the line of my corset. Ah yes. I had bent forward.
'You should really try the tea,' I suggested. 'It's chamomile, soothing and calming.'
Jan scoffed and rolled his beautiful eyes, sighing deeply.
'If you say so.'
He took a sip of tea and made a face. I laughed with undisguised amusement.
'Now, then. The dreaded list,' he murmured, rummaging in his pocket. 'I thought I had it with me...'
As of one mind, both of us glanced at the dark coat still covering my shoulders and arms. Blushing, I undressed it and handed it back to him.
'Thank you for this. It did keep me warm tonight.'
'You're very welcome.'
When he received the coat across the table, his hand touched mine for a long moment. We gazed at each other, then sat back down. Jan searched into one of the inner pockets and finally pulled out a folded piece of parchment.
I studied the way his long fingers smoothed the parchment on the table, barely paying attention to the names he was reading.
'Irena, please concentrate,' Jan muttered huskily. 'You promised this wouldn't take long.'
'Oh, I'm sorry. What was the last name?'
'Il Duca di Piaggio, from Florence.
'And the one before him?'
'Le Prince de Beaufort.'
I thought about it for a moment.
'The French are in the middle of a civil unrest, aren't they?'
'La Fronde, yes. The Prince is quite a vocal leader.'
'Would it benefit us, though? Who suggested him?'
'Boreslav, who else.'
I might have known.
'In that case, strike the Prince and leave the Italian Duke. At least they are at peace.'
Jan nodded and continued reading. After half an hour and some discussion, we were left with the reasonable number of four foreign nobles: an Italian Duke, a German Count, a Greek Boyar and of course the Austrian Prince Karl von Hapsburg himself.
'Then I shall write the formal text and send our royal envoys at first light.'
Jan stood up and grabbed his coat.
'You are leaving?'
I was actually disappointed.
He smiled.
'I must. Everyone else goes hunting tomorrow. I need to write the letters and make all the necessary arrangements.'
I nodded, and rose from my seat as well.
'Will you escort me to my chamber, at least?'
Jan's eyes grew dark.
'Are you certain?'
'Yes.'
He opened the door for me.
'Come, then.'
Jan followed me out on the corridor and we began walking slowly to the west wing where our sleeping quarters were. There was no sound coming from the dining hall apart from the pushing of chairs and tables, a clear sign that the meal was already done and people had retired early.
We walked in silence, very close to one another, my skirts fluttering against his boots, even though the corridor itself was not narrow. Jan's hand took mine and our fingers entwined. My heart had not stopped pounding this entire time and I found myself wishing that he would kiss me again. We reached the door of my chamber too soon and stopped.
My head throbbing, I looked up at him. Jan's expression was hard, his eyes barely glinting in the poor light.
'I'll leave you to rest,' he said, in a warm murmur.
'All right.'
Jan stood close beside me, his teeth working his lower lip restlessly.
'Don't be sorry. For what happened today.'
'I'm not,' I whispered, my cheeks reddening.
'Good. I will see you tomorrow then.'
I nodded, our fingers still reluctant to release their hold.
'Yes, tomorrow.'
Jan let go of my hand only to cup my face and bring my lips to his in a soft kiss. It was chaste and gentle, but full of feeling, and it made my heart flutter wildly. He pulled me in an embrace and sank his nose into my hair, breathing in.
'I don't want to send those letters,' he whispered.
'Then don't send them,' I whispered back, snuggling closer.
'I have to. The Council was adamant.'
Jan sighed and drew himself back, breaking our embrace.
'I bid you good night, my Lady.'
'Good night, Jan.'