Vampire Heart

Chapter 14

The coronation banquet was of course a grim and dull event for me. I was expected to greet everyone and address everyone, and I did, to a certain extent. I walked around to all the guests, welcoming them politely and receiving their praise that was entirely unnecessary. I had just been crowned Queen of Bohemia at twenty years of age. I was an orphan without experience, already with the task of ruling a country set upon her shoulders. What praise did I deserve?
For the entire evening, I endured the scrutiny, the questions, the comparisons. The present gathering agreed in unison that I would soon rise to the occasion and far surpass the former Queen in both honour and wisdom. What disturbed me the most was that I truly wanted to fulfil their expectations and become what they wanted me to be. What Damian had taught me. In the end, I realised, it all amounted to that. It was all about making him proud. Would he be proud?
Alzbeta’s mirror shard had pierced Damian’s beautiful green eye and turned it black. The darkness had consumed the colour and erased all of his memories of love for me, thus accomplishing what apparently everybody wanted: to separate us. But they did not know what I knew. Even if my messengers had been turned in their tracks after bearly leaving Prague, even if my letters could not reach him, the connection had not been severed. Not entirely. Because Damian and I had shared blood. He had tasted mine and I had received his, and in that lay my faith, my last hope. Black magic or no, I knew I was still present in his thoughts, in one way or another, whether he loved or hated me. Be it at the end of the world, he was aware of me, just as I was aware of him.
It had started recently, no more than a day or two ago, no more than a faint stirring of the air. At first, I thought it was my imagination playing tricks on me, making locked doors creak open and windows smash themselves shut without any gust of wind. Strange shadows danced on the walls of my chamber as I wrote my letters, and the flame of my candle was more than once blew out by inexistent draught, making both Kol and me jump up scared.
The bird felt the change as well. He kept himself close to me, closer than usual, his feathers all ruffled up. It was with great difficulty that I managed to convince him to await me at the castle for the duration of trip to the capital. As soon as he saw me return, Kol resumed his perch on my left shoulder, never caring for Jan’s disapproving stare or for the guests' curious glances. Despite my own embarrassment, I could not repress a grin of smugness. Kol was Damian’s parting gift to me. The fact that he was overprotective of me could only strengthen my belief.
And then, for the second time that day, I felt watched and scrutinised by someone, something, some presence I could not place. I kept looking around, searching for the source in vain. I thought back at the old woman in the crowd, the one who had stared. Of course, I could not see anyone remotely resembling such an apparition now, here, inside the well-lit Great Hall of the castle.
The hours passed, the evening grew late and my guests ever merrier. My temples were throbbing with pain, the sound of music and loud chatter all the more irritating. To make matters worse, the Habsburg Ambassador chose that very moment to announce to me that our powerful neighbouring Empire was not inclined to recognise my crowning unless I married without delay, as per the initial terms previously agreed upon.
I thought I felt the earth shudder under my feet and my head was splitting with pain.
‘But, my Lord, surely your sovereign cannot dictate precepts that would fundamentally change the laws of our country. After all, we are not vassals,’ I countered, as politely as I could.
‘Your Highness, you forget, the peace between our two nations was a hard-won one,’ Graf von Steinherz replied with a small grin. ‘Emperor Rudolph does not see the purpose of this postponing. The terms of the treaty signed by your august father were quite clear. Unless the Princess accomplishes the union with the named betrothed before the end of this year, she will of course marry within the royal House of the Habsburgs without further delay.’
The news fell like thunder upon me. Marry Jan or marry a Habsburg.
‘Your sudden paleness is becoming of your beauty, Highness, but it’s not in any way less concerning,’ the Austrian Ambassador commented with a frown. ‘I take it you were unaware of this minor detail?’
‘Minor indeed,’ I gushed, my eyes at once locating Jan at the other end of the hall and killing him with hateful bolts of lightning. ‘It appears my trusted advisors did not see fit to inform me of this addendum.’
‘Apologies, your Majesty,’ der Graf bowed, slightly mortified. ‘Perhaps tonight was not the best opportunity to address the topic. After all, we are gathered here to celebrate your ascension. This delicate matter can wait.’
I bit my lips and shook my aching head.
‘Alas, not for long, my Lord Steinherz. Not for long.’
By now, my head was bursting with pain and my eyes were narrow watery slits. Half-blind, I made my way out of the great hall as inconspicuously as possible in the circumstances. Not only was I wearing Bohemia’s golden crown, but the bird on my shoulder was belatedly black and large. Guests and nobles bowed before me and greeted me in every complimentary way until I finally found myself alone, facing the long climb of the grand staircase. Instantly, my vision blurred and my knees trembled. I felt myself sway to one side.
‘Irena?'
Out of nowhere, Jan was there to catch me. He held me against him, one arm circled around me tightly, the tips of his fingers almost reaching my breast. His white hair fell softly around his pale angular features, like a halo of light. But he was gazing at me with eyes as dark as the night and open fleshy lips, through which his breath panted warm and sultry. I could tell I affected him deeply. I needed but lean a bit forward and--
Goodness me, what was I thinking? Terrible guilt overcame me and cold sweats made me shiver.
'You are not well,' Jan murmured, his other hand feeling my neck and face.
'It's merely exhaustion,' I mumbled. 'I didn't get much sleep last night, remember?'
'You got the evil eye instead, apparently.'
'That's nonsense.'
Without warning, Jan lifted me in his arms like I was a doll and began climbing up the staircase. I wanted to protest, but I knew I would not be able to walk unaided. So I closed my eyes and let him carry me.
'That old woman in the square this morning. I saw the way she was looking at you,' he commented lightly.
I blinked in surprise.
'You saw her too? I thought I was the only one. I thought I imagined her.'
Jan merely grunted and set me down on my own feet after reaching the first floor.
'Can you stand?'
'I believe so.'
He let me go and my body immediately registered the cold space. The shivering returned and so did the faintness. I leaned against the wall for support but felt myself sliding down. Jan was beside me in a heartbeat yet again.
'No, it appears that you cannot. Come.'
I raised my arms and he scooped me up easily.
'I'm sorry,' I muttered.
Jan nodded and kept looking straight ahead.
'Where is your maid?'
'I sent her to bed a few hours ago. She was exhausted.'
'Yes, well, so are you. And my guess is that you didn't have much to eat today either.'
I pouted.
'I did. I had lunch in my chamber after we returned from Prague.'
'Lunch was twelve hours ago, Irina,' Jan pointed out.
'There was no time afterwards,' I shrugged.
'I don't believe you.'
We reached my chamber and Jan set me down once again, except now he kept one arm securely around my waist.
'Go inside and wake your maid. I'll wait here until she has you. Tread slowly.'
I bit my lips and did not move, gazing sheepishly at him.
'Uhm, I can't wake my maid.'
'And why is that?'
'Because she's not here. Johanna sleeps on the ground floor with the rest of the staff.'
Jan frowned and shook his head not understanding.
'But I thought she was your friend.'
'Precisely because she is my friend, I allow her to sleep downstairs with her family. Johanna's mother and two  sisters are also in service.'
'Yes, but she's your maid.'
'What does that have to do with anything?'
I could not see his point at all.
'Well, who's going to help you now?'
His tone was more than annoyed.
'I don't need any help, Jan,' I retorted stiffly. 'I can manage very well by myself.'
I stepped inside the dark room and walked almost steadily towards the cabinet on the nearest wall. After the third step, I tripped on the thick carpet and fell stupidly.
'Oh, for goodness' sake,' I heard Jan swear and rush inside the chamber.
He helped me up and carried me straight to the large bed, depositing me gently on the margin. Then, he went back to close the door and busied himself with lighting candles and filling a cup of water from the jug.
'Drink this,' he instructed, handing me the cup.
I received it and drank it all.
'Can you pour me another, please?'
'Exhausted, famished and parched,' he mumbled, profoundly displeased. 'That's our new Queen.'
'The exhaustion isn't entirely my doing.'
He ignored me again and placed my second empty cup on the bedside cabinet. Then, he began studying me critically.
'You are extremely pale. With dark shadows under your eyes.'
'Whose fault is it?'
He gazed at me regretfully. His own eyes, I could see now, were equally dark-circled, almost sunken.
'Mine, I know it,' he murmured.
I managed half of a reconciliation smile.
'I'll go to sleep momentarily. It's been a long and trying day for both of us.'
'Indeed it has. I'll go wake your maid now, shall I?'
'No, why would you do that?'
Jan was gazing at me as if I was the most obtuse person he had ever met.
'How else do you expect to get undressed, if I may ask?'
I shrugged uninterestedly.
'I won't bother with that. It can wait until morning.'
He rolled his eyes and groaned loudly.
'Christ, Irina. Do you truly wish to irritate me to death? Turn around.'
'What are you--"
'Turn.'
Under Jan's half-angry glare, I obeyed. He sat down on the bed beside me and began undoing the strings of my corset. His fingers were deft and very precise. He must have helped undress fainting ladies many times before, I vaguely thought.
As soon as the corset was a little loose, I felt a sudden rush of air filling my lungs and instantly my head cleared.
'No wonder you were feeling faint,' Jan muttered through gritted teeth. 'Was your loyal maid trying to asphyxiate you slowly? She should be punished.'
'No, it wasn't her fault. I asked her to tie my corset more tightly this morning.'
'What in the world made you believe that would be a good idea?' he mumbled, not really expecting an answer. 'There.'
The corset was loosened all the way down and I took a few long steadying breaths.
'I wanted to look beautiful,' I murmured, glancing at him over my shoulder. 'You know, for the people. On my coronation day. I wanted them to like me.'
I felt Jan's warm fingers gripping my waist through the gauzy material of my chemise. The touch lasted only for a short instant, but it was enough to trigger an entire array of sensations through me. The moment the heavy gown slid down my shoulders, Jan stood up from beside me and walked away quickly.
'You never need worry about that, Irina,' he spoke, his back to me. 'Your people already adore you--for your kindness and gentleness. You are our beloved Queen, the most beautiful there has ever lived. And I could never be more honoured to serve you.'
My heart was beating frantically and I had no idea why. All I knew was that I was sitting half-naked on my bed and that Jan refused to even glance at me. He was professing his eternal devotion to me and yet, he would not turn and look.
In that moment, I desperately wanted him to look.
'How is your injured hand?' I burst all of a sudden.
Jan stopped mid-way and gazed down at his bandaged hand. I noticed he had not changed the piece of gauze I had tied for him the previous night.
'It doesn't hurt anymore,' he answered, still not turning. 'Thank you for asking.'
He walked the remaining distance to the door purposefully.
'I know about the Habsburg Treaty,' I ventured, my voice shaking. 'Graf von Steinherz informed me tonight.'
Jan stopped once more, his bandaged hand on the door handle. His head bent down and he heaved a heavy breath.
'I'm sorry I didn't tell you. The vote you obtained at the March Council was always borrowed time. I'm sorry you found out like this. I know I should have--'
'I won't marry a Habsburg!' I cried, not caring for his apology.
He turned around then, his eyes nailing me to the spot. I felt as if he could see to my very soul through the thin  chemise.
'I never thought you would,' he breathed, his expression profoundly altered.
I knew then what his dark eyes were seeing. I saw them enveloping me, almost felt their caress all over me. I swallowed thickly, steeling myself, and murmured almost apologetically:
'But I won't marry you either.'
Jan's features hardened once more and he nodded curtly.
'I bid you good night, your Majesty.'
'Good night, Jan.'
*
As beautiful and clear yesterday had been, the day after my coronation dawned grey and downcast. Usually visible from my chamber’s high window, the hills around Karlstejn were now blanketed in heavy layers of milky fog that entirely enclosed the line of the horizon. I had no horizon.
Johanna came to me early to prepare me for the day. I immediately noticed her tear-stained cheeks and downcast eyes.
‘What is it, Johanna?’ I asked concerned, touching her shoulder.
She merely shook her head and pulled out two brocade gowns from the ornate trunk.
‘What would you like to wear today, my Lady? The blue or the green?’
She did not meet my gaze and I lifted her chin gently, searching into her sad eyes.
‘What has troubled you, dearest? Has something happened? Is your family in good health?’
My maid attempted a smile and nodded bravely.
‘They are all well—grateful that you have received them into your service. I am forever in your debt, Majesty.’
I smiled to her and kissed her cheek.
‘Just because they put a crown upon my head yesterday doesn’t mean you get to keep me at a distance, Johanna. I am always Irena to you.’
She gave me a genuine happy smile and squeezed my hand. I returned the affectionate gesture, then collected the green gown from her and went to place it on the bed.
‘Come sit at the vanity so I can brush your hair, my Lady. How shall I plait it today?’
I grinned mischievously into the mirror.
‘No plaiting. I’ll wear it loose.’
Johanna grinned back at me and began the laborious task of untangling the knots from my mane.
‘So. Will you tell me what’s troubled you?’
She frowned a little, seemingly concentrating on a particular stubborn lock of hair.
‘Johanna?’
Kol chose that very moment to swoop down from the bed’s poster and settle himself upon my maid’s shoulder. She was neither surprised nor frightened of the black creature—not anymore. She was the only one aside from me whom Kol actually seemed to trust. She glanced at him for an instant and rolled her eyes.
‘You know, sometimes I have the distinct feeling this bird can understand everything we say,’ she mumbled half-annoyed.
‘He can. And he seems as concerned for you as I am. Kindly do both of us a favour and relieve us of the worry, Johanna.’
She scoffed and rolled her eyes once again, sighing.
‘It’s nothing, really,’ she muttered. ‘I received a remonstration for retiring early yesterday and leaving you by yourself.’
I frowned, already guessing.
‘Who remonstrated you?’
Her eyes met mine in the mirror meaningfully. There was no need for either of us to speak the name aloud. I sighed displeased.
‘Do not take it to heart, Johanna. It’s me you serve, not him. I already discussed it last night and fully explained that it had been me who instructed you to retire.’
Johanna shrugged.
‘His Lordship is right, though. I shouldn’t have left you on your own. I can’t imagine the trouble you must have had untying your corset.’
My eyes sprang up again and I saw myself blushing profusely. My maid noted my discomfiture and stared back at me, obviously curious.
‘He helped you?’ she immediately guessed.
I swallowed thickly and caught the gentle hand that was now tying pins into the front part of my hair.
‘One of the many reasons I cherish our friendship, Johanna, is that I know I can trust you with my life,’ I gushed in a low voice. ‘No one must know of this.’
‘Of course, my Lady, it’s understood,’ she nodded but grinned mysteriously at the same time.
Letting go of her hand, I stood up from the chair and followed her behind the oriental screen.
‘I’m serious, Johanna,’ I went on in hushed tones. ‘Yesterday I learned that Emperor Rudolph still expects me to marry within the year—if I wish my reign to be recognised and not rekindle a war between our countries again.’
Johanna’s already large brown eyes grew if possible even larger at the news.
‘Marry whom?’
I scoffed with bitterness, stepping into the heavy, deep green brocade dress.
‘It’s either an Austrian heir or… Jan.’
My maid stared straight at me once again, her eyes expressing more than words ever could. Then, she turned me gently around and began tying up my corset. In the intimate silence we shared, I heard her soft intake of breath. I glanced back over my shoulder at her.
‘What should I do, Johanna?’ I murmured. ‘I am Queen, yet I am powerless. Whatever I may choose, it would be wrong.’
When my attire was completed, I turned and we faced each other. My maid took my cold hands into her coarse but oh-so-warm ones.
‘I cannot tell you what you should do, Irena,’ she said softly.
‘What would you choose if you were in my place?’ I pressed.
She scoffed and smiled.
‘I think you know exactly whom I would choose in this case.’
I swallowed audibly and bit my lips hard.
‘What about Damian?’ I whispered so quietly, I thought she had not even heard me.
She had. Johanna glanced at the raven above us and shrugged.
‘He didn’t send you any sign in two months.’
‘Actually, there were signs,’ I murmured, and told her about what both Kol and I had felt in the past few days.
‘But none of that is real proof,’ she shook her head. ‘Maybe you were just looking for signs where there weren’t any.’
‘And Kol? You just admitted he’s more than a bird.’
It was Johanna’s turn to bite her lips now and she sighed heavily, her fingers rubbing her forehead in deep thought.
I left her there and walked slowly to the large windows to gaze down in the courtyard. Fine drizzle was making the cobbles shine and small puddles had already formed here and there. A contingent of soldiers had gathered outside the barracks under the command of the meddlesome Captain Vasin. The men were executing their routine training moves and the Captain was guiding and ordering them around in his brisk manner.
Johanna joined me at the window and her soft round cheeks acquired a lovely rosy blush all of a sudden. Just then, as if sensing himself watched, Captain Vasin lifted his gaze to us. Johanna gasped and made a step back. The Captain nodded a greeting and brought his fist to the left side of his breastplate. I nodded back and gestured for him to carry on the men’s training.
‘Such a resourceful man, that Captain Vasin,’ I murmured, glancing back at Johanna and gauging her reaction. ‘How quick and effective he was in locating my ten scouts before they even reached the borders.'
'I suppose so, my Lady,' she murmured, averting her eyes.
I smiled at her poorly disguised interest. How I missed the days of blissful innocence, if I had ever had any. I scoffed and headed to the breakfast tray Johanna had brought up. She poured tea into a porcelain cup and handed it to me.
‘My Lady, if you still wish to know—to find out—there might be another way,’ she whispered, her eyes darting to the windows and back.
I took a large gulp of the warm tea.
‘How? I have no magic means to find Damian’s whereabouts.’
‘I...may know someone who has.’
'Who is it?'
'My great-grandmother Ersi.'
'If she possesses eldritch mirrors that may break and turn people's hearts to ice, I don't wish to know her.'
Johanna attempted a sad chuckle.
'No such thing, my Lady. Ersi is an esteemed healer in these parts. Perhaps she knows some other way to find him.'
I gazed at my maid pensively. It did not hurt to try.
'Very well. Your idea has merit. But we must plan everything carefully. Jan is still watching my every move.'