she wasn't okay - JJ MAYBANK // Outer Banks

SIXTEEN

Lucy felt JJ lips. They were so soft, yet a little bit gently rough. Their lips didn't let go. They were like magnets. JJ had his hand behind her neck and kept Lucy close by it. Her arms went around his upper body. She didn't want to let got, but it felt like JJ was slipping through her fingers. She couldn't hold him. At least she thought, she couldn't hold him. Lucy felt like she way flying. Flying away, because she couldn't hold him. Her emotions were too high. Her hand became numb. Her arms became numb and fell off of JJ. If JJ hadn't had his other hand behind her back, Lucy would have fallen to the ground. JJ let go of Lucy's lips and looked at her. He pressed his forehead against hers.

"Luce, please tell me what you took." JJ whispered against lips. He had felt Lucy's body collapsing and he knew, she'd only stand because of his hold.

"E."

"Why? Wasn't the mix-up weed enough?" JJ let Lucy sunk to the ground. His leg was stabilising her to sit up.

"I just... I... it was... so much has happened over the last few days. I got mad."

"You knew, they'd find something, didn't you? That's why you rolled a blunt before we went."

Lucy nodded. "I had put pill into my pocket before you came into my room. I can feel the cancer being back. Maybe it's not much. Maybe they can fix it. But what if they can't? I just got here."

"I promise you, we'll do something."

"Yeah, you say that. But what happens, if it can't be fix?"

"Then I'll be at your side. I can promise you that. I don't know what you did to me. Never ever have I met a girl like you. You sweep me off my feet as soon as I see you. I need to smile every damn second I think about you. I don't know what it is, it is just you being you, I guess. When your mother came and basically ripped you away from me, I thought I'd fall back into the hole you just pulled me out again. I've only met like what five weeks ago, plus minus, and I feel like I've known you my whole life."

"J-"

"No, I swear. Kie asked me two weeks ago what's up with me and in that very moment she asked me that question a picture of you filled my head. I mistreated my friends for a long time and then you showed up. You turned my head upside down, Luce. And that was before I knew you were my best friends little sister."

"That's why you pulled away earlier?"

"Yeah... I don't know what John B will think of this." JJ took Lucy's hand.

"JJ..." Lucy took her hand away.

"Luce, please, don't say but."

"I can't promise you anything. You don't know what you are dealing with. Hell, I don't even know how to deal with myself. I don't know if I live. If my mum was right, I have three years left, maybe four. It will be awful. And I don't want you to deal with it. Or to see me like this."

"I don't care. Well, I do care about your health, but I don't care what you will look like."

"No, JJ. You deserve better."

"Luce..."

"No, I am not okay. I am sick. I don't know what will happen next. And you deserve a future you can plan. You deserve someone who can be there for you."

"Luce, never ever have I planned my life. My life comes as it comes. And if that means being there for you and to take care of you, so it will be."

"There is nothing I can give to you, JJ. I don't know what comes next. Do I have another appointment at the hospital? Do I have an emotional break down because of the medication I need to take or the drugs I do?"